again about being on a break

[divinef9]

Long story short – my boyfriend (once fiancée) of almost 3 years has decided to tell me on skype that we need to take a break. Surely, we had our fights, but we lived together for 2 years and we were in each other’s face all the time(we also work together). We had our ups and downs and probably the routine has taken over us. I was devastated when he told me in person he still means the break. I was almost literally begging on my knees, telling him I love him and all that stuff. Now he has started thinking about this in June as I found some pretty sexual chats with his ex girlfriends, he also said he found someone interesting referring to a girl he recently friended on facebook in one of his chats with a friend and that he went out one night with her when he told me he is with his friends? I was out of town at the time. Never told him I found those (that was after when he told me he needs a break). He also wanted to move out of our rented apartment so he can start saving money for an own place. We talked and talked – he said he doesn’t want to break up, he still has feelings and so on and that he wants to try again, but just doesn’t want to see me right now and wants the time to make things right and that time will tell what will happen. Well bull**** I have been crying for almost 3 weeks as I moved out as quickly as I can (not that he left me any other option but still he says that it was a “mutual” decision, mutual my a$$). Just a month ago he was talking about babies, and living together in an own apartment and weddings and now what? We had some nice conversations where he joked about me not bumping my legs into the chairs when we get our own place and that the reason for this separation is to get back together. Today is day 2 of NC and day 10 of LC… I am having good moments and suicidal moments. Don’t know what will happen and don’t know how much time to give him to think about us before approaching asking to talk and see whether we will get back together or not. I want him back, I love him, but starting to think maybe he is not such a good person.