robaday Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 Girl I was seeing briefly (a month) told me she was confused and having doubts. I basically said, well Ive been trying and making an effort, but I understand and wont stand in your way. A week later I tried calling just to see if there was anything left, and she ignored it. She then texted me the following week asking if it was over. I was like, well ive been straight with you, I wont stand in your way. Shes now pretty angry with me, saying Ive sabotaged it. I said look, if you want to talk this through cool, but if your still confused or having doubts, dont worry about it, and leave me be. Is she just messing with my head?
madjac74 Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 Yes move on. If you are having these problems after a month?
phineas Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 Confused = met someone else & want's some time to try him out. She's angry because things didn't work out the way she planned with the other guy or she needs more time & you are calling her on her BS. I think you handled it perfectly. 2
january2011 Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 You'd only been together for a month and she was already confused and having doubts. Did she give you a reason why? You gave her an out and followed up a week later. Only to be ignored until she felt ready to contact you yet another week later asking if it was over. And now she's upset and blaming you. From what I can tell, you haven't done anything wrong. She, however, is either purposefully playing games or has no idea what she wants. Either way, too messy and unavailable to date. You really don't need this kind of drama so early on with someone you barely know. Go NC. Walk away. Keep walking. 1
truth_seeker Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 There's another guy in the picture. That's my guess. I'm also guessing you met her on OLD? Sounds like she has interest in both you and the other guy and doesn't know what she wants to do. When she is feeling the other guy, she is confused. When she is feeling you she is reaching out to you. You have two choices: 1. Use her for sex only. 2. Tell her to get lost.
Author robaday Posted September 5, 2012 Author Posted September 5, 2012 Its weird because shes adament that its me whos seeing this wrong. Ive explained the situation but shes not hearing it. She did say she wanted to talk it through in person, that she wanted to work it out, so i told her what i needed, and then she said i was being ridiculous, so i was just like, cool, lets just leave it be then. i have no idea why shes hurt, my actions were pretty good, im guessing she tried playing a game which didnt work out by ignoring the call. If anything, i think id tried too hard with this one, and am happy to leave it be
veggirl Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 *you* sabotaged things?! well that's an interesting spin for her to put on things. I think your response to her claim that you sabotaged things was perfect.
Author robaday Posted September 6, 2012 Author Posted September 6, 2012 Her doubts were linked to her feeling unappreciated, and wanting more commitment. But after a month of seeing her, we were seeing each other twice or more a week, and wed always gone out and done something - never just sat at home, doing nothing. I wasnt seeing anyone else, and had been monogamous. So really, guess it was the way she handled it that bothered me - more commitment or Im gone.....doesnt really make me want to commit!! "having doubts" as well as ignoring a phone call, meant to me at least, it was her who wasnt commited. Anyway thanks for the advice;) gotta keep moving......
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