Why is she saying all these things??? anyone has any thoughts on this?

[Awarth]

i post this in another thread at first...but just wanna move this post to somewhere else..

 

anyway,

 

my ex-gf got gigs and it had been one year since she break up with me for another guy..b4 that we are tgt for 5 yrs...she is now 23 yrd old

 

lately, she had been showing some weird signs/actions..

things like:

 

1) call me out of nowhere

2) telling me how badly her boyfriend had treated her

3) saying how good i am

4) say she will never believe that she will find someone as good as me again

5) say she could not picture a future with that guy..even went on to say that even if the two of them get married, they will get divorced very quick

6) telling me that she feel really comfortable talking to me

7) telling me that she feel so stress talking to her bf..cause they will quarrel within a few sentences

8) asking me why i did not beg her back when she leave me

9) suggesting we should go on a trip together, even hinting that she will come back..

10) saying that whoever lucky enough to be my gf will be the luckiest woman on earth..

11) ask me if she break up with that guy, will i come back to her (i just answer "maybe" by the way)

12) her friends are saying that she is foolish to dump me.

13) saying that she really admire the fact that i did not contact her after the break up, that i did not beg her back..saying this is so cool and manly..

 

and so on..but she is still with that boyfriend of hers now..

 

so..i am not trying to hope or anything..but is this her finally starting to find out that the "grass is not greener on the other side?"

 

thanks everyone..

[Sav]

She's just keeping you around in case her relationship doesn't work out. Would you even want someone who just leaves a 5 year r/s for someone else at the drop of a hat? Show more backbone, do what's best for yourself, she's out of your life now

[Calico]

I agree with Sav that it seems that she's testing waters. It doesn't have to be for a negative reason, though. Perhaps she did realize that she misses you. Regardless of her motivation, and even if it's genuine, you should proceed slowly and with care.

[g450]

If your such a great guy then why is she scewing somebody new?

 

Wow, your ex sure has an ego. She thinks she can have you both. So why are you playing that game with her. Stop being her doormat and emotional tampon and grow a pair. Block her calls etc and move on to somebody that doesnt act like an immature school girl!

[sendme]

I wouldn't believe a word she says until SHE LEAVES this GUY.... when she leaves this guy... tell her to be on her own for a month or so then call you if she wants you....

 

otherwise, she's just securing a back up plan so when she leaves him she won't have to be alone....

 

I've totally done this...

 

It may be true, she may think you're a better guy than he is, but that isn't enough for her to pick you over him... and being a girl like this myself... it takes girls like this a long time to settle back in once we leave....

 

meaning if she does leave him and start back up with you it may be a year or more before she's fully ready to invest in you... do you really want to wait around for her to second guess herself for a year?

[Appleness]

You have the holy trifecta. She dumped you, is sending you breadcrumbs (to keep getting your attention) and you got what I've hear other guys say is "friend-zoned". I am a wee bit disturbed that you're listing such a long detailed list of what she says, meaning 1) You are still listening when she's moving her lips. You need to stop. This is not the droids you're looking for your girlfriend anymore. 2) if by chance, you were typing these off of text messages she sent you, please do yourself a favor and erase them. Why? because even if you ignore them and just leave them there, one day, you will date someone. And if statistics are correct, then this next girl might also have certain *erm* not-so-healthy tendencies and may inadvertently come across these messages one day. You don't want that.

 

From what other people who have been on here way way longer than me (like gibson) are saying, people take a while to go through GIGS. Don't wait for them. By the time she's done with this guy (or partying or drinking or whatever else GIGS people do) so may be 30 IQ points dumber, 50 pounds heavier, 10 years older, and $5000 more in debt due to her 2 kids. Always think, "can I accept the worse case scenerio?" If you can, great! If not, move on.

 

Good luck