socrushed Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 what does it mean? does it mean she wants my d*ck? Say i'm walking around a campus and a girl just makes eye contact with me and smiles. Is she just being polite, or does she think i'm cute and she's open to conversation? 1
USMCHokie Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 what does it mean? The only thing you can be sure of is that she has enough social awareness to know how to acknowledge your presence with a warm and friendly gesture. So it simply means you make eye contact and smile back. 1
Author socrushed Posted September 5, 2012 Author Posted September 5, 2012 So she would do this to anyone?
USMCHokie Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 So she would do this to anyone? The only way to know is to follow her around and watch her every move. Luckily, it doesn't matter who else she does it to.
madjac74 Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 Have you considered that people make awkward eye contact all the time and often the result is a forced smile? No she doesn't want your "dick". She probably has a boyfriend. 1
january2011 Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 what does it mean? does it mean she wants my d*ck? Say i'm walking around a campus and a girl just makes eye contact with me and smiles. Is she just being polite, or does she think i'm cute and she's open to conversation? I'm wondering if equating "she wants my d*ck" to "she thinks I'm cute and she's open to conversation" is the wrong way to go about it. If someone smiles at you, just say, "Hi, how are you?" If she says, "Hi," back and asks how you are, then you have the beginnings of a conversation. If she doesn't respond, then just move on. Given the context, thinking that a random girl, "wants my d*ck" without even having a conversation with her is probably a bit too presumptious.
Author socrushed Posted September 5, 2012 Author Posted September 5, 2012 I'm wondering if equating "she wants my d*ck" to "she thinks I'm cute and she's open to conversation" is the wrong way to go about it. If someone smiles at you, just say, "Hi, how are you?" If she says, "Hi," back and asks how you are, then you have the beginnings of a conversation. If she doesn't respond, then just move on. Given the context, thinking that a random girl, "wants my d*ck" without even having a conversation with her is probably a bit too presumptious. ok... so what exactly do i say after "hi how are you" and she responds "fine how are you" or something like that? i never know what to say to a random stranger. How about this. today i was walking through walmart, and a girl that worked there made eye contact with me. she was pushing the carts with items in it. she smiled and i smiled back, and as i walked past she said "hi how are you". does this mean she wants me or is she just being polite since she works there? and what do I say back if i want to talk to her? all I could say was "hey" and then i kept walking past her....
january2011 Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 (edited) I think you need to stop framing these random daytime encounters as "she wants me," or "she wants my d*ck." Take the sexual element out of it. You are just two people having a conversation. After exchanging "hi" and "how are you?" you could go with an environmental observation or something about what she's doing/carrying but in a friendly non-stalkerish way. For example, with the girl from Walmart, you could have said something like, "I haven't tried that [X], is it any good?" Or say that you're looking for [X] ask her if she could take you to [X] aisle. Since every encounter is unique, your observations and questions will be slightly different. This is where improvisation comes in because it can disrupt the flow of conversation if your questions and answers sound rehearsed. Even if someone is just being polite, a little conversation to pass a few minutes tends to be a pleasant thing for most people. Even if nothing comes of it. And though you may not get a date out of every encounter, each one will improve your conversation and people-reading skills. This will increase your chances of being successful the next time. You will learn what works for you, what topics you can talk about with random strangers, what questions to ask and become more comfortable keeping the conversation flowing naturally without seeming like you are holding the person to ransom. That is, you will learn to improvise. Edited September 5, 2012 by january2011 1
prettylittlethings Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 (edited) what does it mean? does it mean she wants my d*ck? I'd like to know what men are thinking, they should be more vocal in real life so women don't have to spend time unraveling their true nature. If you think women smile at you because they want to suck your dick, I really suggest you ask instead of saying "hey, how are you?" like others suggesting... I would want to know that you are unable to pick up totally normal social cues right off the bat so I can avoid you. And who knows, you might find some girls actually do want to suck your d*ck. BTW I liked your post by accident. Edited September 5, 2012 by prettylittlethings
GirlontheLam Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 As a compulsive smiler, generally speaking it is meaningless (for someone like me). I smile at pretty much everyone who walks by and doesn't look evil. It could mean, I am acknowledging you checking me out. [This happened yesterday, I noticed this guy just staring when I crossed the street. I smiled as I walked by just to break the uncomfortable feeling. He watched me walk the whole time until I walked into the door of the restaurant.] Or just that I felt like smiling (which is the case 90% of the time). Opening with "hi" is a good way to start. But I engage in tons of small talk, without looking for or expecting anything at all just to pass the time. Your real cues come from engaging in conversation.
Author socrushed Posted September 5, 2012 Author Posted September 5, 2012 I think you need to stop framing these random daytime encounters as "she wants me," or "she wants my d*ck." Take the sexual element out of it. You are just two people having a conversation. After exchanging "hi" and "how are you?" you could go with an environmental observation or something about what she's doing/carrying but in a friendly non-stalkerish way. For example, with the girl from Walmart, you could have said something like, "I haven't tried that [X], is it any good?" Or say that you're looking for [X] ask her if she could take you to [X] aisle. Since every encounter is unique, your observations and questions will be slightly different. This is where improvisation comes in because it can disrupt the flow of conversation if your questions and answers sound rehearsed. Even if someone is just being polite, a little conversation to pass a few minutes tends to be a pleasant thing for most people. Even if nothing comes of it. And though you may not get a date out of every encounter, each one will improve your conversation and people-reading skills. This will increase your chances of being successful the next time. You will learn what works for you, what topics you can talk about with random strangers, what questions to ask and become more comfortable keeping the conversation flowing naturally without seeming like you are holding the person to ransom. That is, you will learn to improvise. this is really dumb i'm sure, but can you give me a couple of example conversations i could have had with her? I felt that since i was just passing by her, and she was pushing a cart so she had something to do, if i just stopped in my tracks to talk to her i would indeed be holding her "ransom." I keep thinking about what I could say. Ask if some food item she has in her cart is any good? Mention how busy the place seems? All of this sounds so contrived to me, as if I clearly just want an excuse to talk to her. doesn't it feel awkward to just make small talk like that?
Author socrushed Posted September 5, 2012 Author Posted September 5, 2012 I'd like to know what men are thinking, they should be more vocal in real life so women don't have to spend time unraveling their true nature. If you think women smile at you because they want to suck your dick, I really suggest you ask instead of saying "hey, how are you?" like others suggesting... I would want to know that you are unable to pick up totally normal social cues right off the bat so I can avoid you. And who knows, you might find some girls actually do want to suck your d*ck. BTW I liked your post by accident. well you're kind of cold hearted. i just think girls are so pretty .. so i can't help but think about things like that. and that's why i never say what i think.. because some girls like you would avoid me when i want to talk to you... As a compulsive smiler, generally speaking it is meaningless (for someone like me). I smile at pretty much everyone who walks by and doesn't look evil. It could mean, I am acknowledging you checking me out. [This happened yesterday, I noticed this guy just staring when I crossed the street. I smiled as I walked by just to break the uncomfortable feeling. He watched me walk the whole time until I walked into the door of the restaurant.] Or just that I felt like smiling (which is the case 90% of the time). Opening with "hi" is a good way to start. But I engage in tons of small talk, without looking for or expecting anything at all just to pass the time. Your real cues come from engaging in conversation. how open are you to small talk? if i want to talk to you, can you give me a couple example conversations that you would be comfortable with? okay, say you are sitting alone at a coffee shop or restaurant. i walk in, not particularly handsome guy, kind of scrawny, possibly cute in a dorky way, but most likely you aren't attracted. how can i talk to you? would you be ok with me talking to you? please be totally honest, if you wouldn't want a guy like me to talk to you, say so. this is the internet and there's no need to be nice or try to lie to avoid hurting my feelings cause i would never meet you, i genuinely want to know the truth. I'm afraid of talking to girls who sit alone even though i want to because what if I'm bothering them but they're too polite to tell me to go away?
prettylittlethings Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 well you're kind of cold hearted. i just think girls are so pretty .. so i can't help but think about things like that. and that's why i never say what i think.. because some girls like you would avoid me when i want to talk to you... how open are you to small talk? if i want to talk to you, can you give me a couple example conversations that you would be comfortable with? okay, say you are sitting alone at a coffee shop or restaurant. i walk in, not particularly handsome guy, kind of scrawny, possibly cute in a dorky way, but most likely you aren't attracted. how can i talk to you? would you be ok with me talking to you? please be totally honest, if you wouldn't want a guy like me to talk to you, say so. this is the internet and there's no need to be nice or try to lie to avoid hurting my feelings cause i would never meet you, i genuinely want to know the truth. I'm afraid of talking to girls who sit alone even though i want to because what if I'm bothering them but they're too polite to tell me to go away? So it's the combination of you thinking girls are so pretty AND them smiling at you which makes you think they want to suck your dick? So girls who you don't find pretty, or males who smile at you don't want to suck your dick I assume? If you weren't overly creepy I would probably talk to you but definitely not because I was interested in you romantically/sexually.
Author socrushed Posted September 5, 2012 Author Posted September 5, 2012 So it's the combination of you thinking girls are so pretty AND them smiling at you which makes you think they want to suck your dick? So girls who you don't find pretty, or males who smile at you don't want to suck your dick I assume? If you weren't overly creepy I would probably talk to you but definitely not because I was interested in you romantically/sexually. i was just asking you know... i didn't say they wanted my dick for smiling at me, i was wondering if that was a possibility. and guys don't smile at me too often. occasionally they do, but usually girls smile at me way more than guys. So i just assume that maybe this means they think i'm kind of cute and not just out of sheer politeness...
january2011 Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 this is really dumb i'm sure, but can you give me a couple of example conversations i could have had with her? I felt that since i was just passing by her, and she was pushing a cart so she had something to do, if i just stopped in my tracks to talk to her i would indeed be holding her "ransom." I keep thinking about what I could say. Ask if some food item she has in her cart is any good? Mention how busy the place seems? All of this sounds so contrived to me, as if I clearly just want an excuse to talk to her. doesn't it feel awkward to just make small talk like that? If I give you any more examples for you to learn off by heart, then it's going to be even more contrived. You need to just start with conversations where there are perhaps only one or two sentences exchanged and then go from there as your confidence builds. I've already given you some starting examples. Giving you an entire conversation is not going to help you because, as I said, every encounter is unique and therefore conversations can go in all kinds of directions. Your conversations will seem less contrived when you learn to improvise rather than repeating lines that you were given on an internet forum. So, go out there and start talking to people.
Quiet Storm Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 A smile is often just a smile. Women are socialized to be friendly. We are taught to be polite and to not hurt people's feelings. In a service environment, you are paid to be friendly to the customers. This kind of thing even varies by region. If you go to the grocery store in Georgia, you will see other shoppers smiling at you as they meander through the aisles, some even wave and comment your food choices and offer alternative suggestions. The others in line will talk to you and ask you how you are, where your from, what your kids names are. The cashier will be super nice. When I encountered this behavior, it felt phony to me because I'm not from the south, but it is very common for southern women to be taught to be "sweet". Now contrast that with a market in Manhattan, where everyone is in a big rush and doesn't have time for small talk. If you waved at a stranger they'd wonder what your ulterior motive is or look behind them to see who you're waving at. People asking questions about you or offering suggestions may be viewed as nosy, intrusive or odd. So it really depends on the girl. One girl may just be being friendly, another may think you're cute. The only way to know is to talk to them more.
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