Author starla33 Posted September 6, 2012 Author Posted September 6, 2012 (edited) Or maybe he respects her enough to back off when he sees they want different things. Why is a guy disrespectful or a douche for wanting sex? I respect women Ive had sex with but didnt have a relationship with. People can also not respect those they are in a relationship with. Each situation is different. I just wish people would stop shaming folks who reject them, even if it had to do with sex. OP doesnt even really know if thats the case for sure because the guy hasnt gotten back to her. He didnt sleep with her, he felt they werent compatible...no one is a bad guy here. I'd agree with you here, but let me tell you he was turned on for sure and I didn't sleep with him so lets not pull the compatible card out. If he waited a bit I think we would have had a great time, but unfortunately I'm sure hes multi-dating and doing other girls so why make the effort for me when they are all putting out? Also, he did end up getting back to me...but it took a ridiculous amount of time (over 24 hours). So I have started seeing someone else that actually called me after one date! Amazing. Edited September 6, 2012 by starla33
kaylan Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 I'd agree with you here, but let me tell you he was turned on for sure and I didn't sleep with him so lets not pull the compatible card out.Let me say this again, since you seemed to not understand me the first time I said this; making out, cuddling, and being turned on has nothing to do with someone being compatible with another person long term. And none of those things means sex will happen either, as was your case. Ive hooked up with girls and backed off because I didnt want them to get in too deep because I knew we wanted different things. As someone else said before. If he wanted just sexual fun, it would have been easy to wait to get it from you after a few more dates. Waiting it out is easy to do. Its possible (though not a fact by any means) that he felt you guys were not going to go anywhere long term, so he bailed. It doesnt make him a douche or a user. Its also possible he only wanted sex....but unless he used you and lead you on, he still wouldnt be a douche or a user in that case. Theres nothing wrong with a man or woman wanting those things. He backed off in your case. If he waited a bit I think we would have had a great time, but unfortunately I'm sure hes multi-dating and doing other girls so why make the effort for me when they are all putting out? As I said, waiting is the easy part. A guy whos all about sex has no problem building a harem and leading women on if he wants to. He didnt do that with you...so give him some credit and just realize there was no click with you two. It happens all the time. Also, he did end up getting back to me...but it took a ridiculous amount of time (over 24 hours). So I have started seeing someone else that actually called me after one date! Amazing.Youre that upset over a guy taking a day to get back to you? A guy youve only been out with a few times? A guy whos still a relative stranger? He didnt need any afterthoughts or bad feelings felt towards him...you should have simply been indifferent and moved on to the next guy like you already have. Hes not a boyfriend, so we guys arent prompt in their response to you, dont even sweat it. And dont jump to conclusions either. All you did was make out and hang out a few times. And he felt he didnt want any more. If he was really a douche bag that only wanted sex, he would have stuck around and gotten laid. Dont sweat this at all. 1
xpaperxcutx Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 A douchebag isn't a douchebag until played you, then he's entered Ahole territory. He's a douche but you're also slightly naive and gullible for staying the night in the same bed and expecting things to still proceed platonically. Unless he's a close friend of yours who you trust to not jump your bones, you're always better declining that invitation back to his place. Second, you're angry because you placed too much expectations on this guy to becoming your ideal man. Face it, most men nowadays are commitment-phobes and they're constantly on the prowl for the next best thing. You should at least try to date smart, if not sensibly. Men can say one thing but they'll always do another. They almost always try to see how much they can get away with.
Imported Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 OMFG all this over 24 hours. I don't know what's the funniest thread today. This one or Caius Ballad's crossdressing thread lol 3
oaks Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 Also, he did end up getting back to me...but it took a ridiculous amount of time (over 24 hours). So I have started seeing someone else that actually called me after one date! Amazing. It sounded earlier like you wanted things to move slower than him, but you were complaining that he hasn't got back to you. Now it turns out that you're butthurt because he backed off for a whole day, and you've already started seeing someone else. Yes, Amazing is one word for it. Now, how do I get the rolling eyes smiley when I'm typing this on my phone? ... 3
BS76 Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 As well he should. No sex on the third date means the woman isn't interested in you and hence you should move on. Agreed, it's a good rule of thumb for judging her interest in moving things forward. I disagree. I am pretty sure it is the biggest mistake for most men. LOL, too true.
xxoo Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 Also, he did end up getting back to me...but it took a ridiculous amount of time (over 24 hours). So I have started seeing someone else that actually called me after one date! Amazing. Really??? You got this worked up over 24 hours?
madjac74 Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 24 hours??? I thought we were talking days or weeks here?? And you already started seeing someone else after a day? Now who's the douchebag 2
veggirl Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 yeah LOL I did not realize all this was written BEFORE 24 hrs had even passed! Dang! And you found someone else to date in that time as well So you were multi dating as well or...? This whole thing is bizarre.
runner Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 24 hours??? I thought we were talking days or weeks here?? And you already started seeing someone else after a day? Now who's the douchebag IME, most attractive women that i know who are out looking to date typically have a handful of (possibly interesting) guys blowing up her phone wanting to 'get to know her better'. if one drops the ball, is she supposed to sit at home watching netflix, eating ice cream ? 1
ThaWholigan Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 IME, most attractive women that i know who are out looking to date typically have a handful of (possibly interesting) guys blowing up her phone wanting to 'get to know her better'. if one drops the ball, is she supposed to sit at home watching netflix, eating ice cream ? This is so true it's funny. 1
weallfalldown Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 you yanks crack me up with your slang... i thought douche....was summit to do with vaginal cleaning?..... douche bags...= fannytwat??????????????
RedRobin Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 IME, most attractive women that i know who are out looking to date typically have a handful of (possibly interesting) guys blowing up her phone wanting to 'get to know her better'. if one drops the ball, is she supposed to sit at home watching netflix, eating ice cream ? Nope. Here is the thing, Starla... You really don't know what is going on in this guy's head. In order to keep your sanity in the dating world, it is best not to even bother worrying about it until alot more time has progressed. It might help in the future if you let someone know what your expectations are a bit. Ok, so you expected to hear something within 24 hours... I would have given it more than that, but that is besides the point. If you really are moving onto the next guy, perhaps you should send this other a guy a brief note saying "haven't heard from you, so I'm moving forward with other options. Good luck with your search!" That at least lets it be known that the door is closed (respectfully) and you can also not be guilty of doing to him what you fear or imagine he is doing to you... that is... do a post-sleepover 'dump' without additional communication... Which I agree, would not be ideal and does seem kinda 'douchey' on his part IF that is what he actually did. 1
spiderowl Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 Or maybe he respects her enough to back off when he sees they want different things. Why is a guy disrespectful or a douche for wanting sex? I respect women Ive had sex with but didnt have a relationship with. People can also not respect those they are in a relationship with. Each situation is different. I just wish people would stop shaming folks who reject them, even if it had to do with sex. OP doesnt even really know if thats the case for sure because the guy hasnt gotten back to her. He didnt sleep with her, he felt they werent compatible...no one is a bad guy here. That's possible, Kaylan, but I guess it depends what he said to her and what impression he gave her about his interest in him. I don't think a guy is bad for wanting sex, but I despite liars and those who mislead to get it. He may have backed off because he realised she wanted more of a relationship, but he could have told her that.
Recommended Posts