WaitingforRomance Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 I (31) was with my boyfriend (30) for almost 3 years, with almost all of that being long distance, including right now. We have been having some issues, the usual LDR communication issues and such, and one day I had just had enough and ended it. He was devastated, was sobbing, so was I. I was miserable right from the beginning, and realised that I had made a huge mistake, and a couple of days later I told him that, I wanted to work thru this. At that point, he was still a mess, he thought I had already mailed his stuff back to him, he had already deleted me from facebook and removed all pictures of us, but was still contacting me to tell me how much he loved me and missed me. At that point he never said yes or no about working things out, he was too distraught to even have a conversation with. So now it's been 1.5 weeks since I told him it was a mistake and I want to work things out. He has been calling me drunk at 4am just about every second night, and sending me emails and texts a few times a day, so of course I am thrilled, because I want him back. However, when I bring up getting back together and working things out, he says he needs "time", and I am not respecting that by pushing him, wanting answer. He still wants contact with me, when I suggest that we should go no contact while he has his "time", he starts acting like everything is ok between us, until I ask him again what is going on between us, and if he wants to work things out. So what do I do here? As much as I want to be with him, and work things out, I can't wait around and be there for him while he has his "time." what if his "time" lasts for months and then when it's up he has decided he wants to move on after all? where does that leave me? heartbroken again, obviously. I am so confused. I want to be with him still, so badly, but I feel like he's playing a game with me, and my feelings. Should I just move on? I really don't want to. Sorry if this is long. Thanks for taking the time to read it.
Hddforyou Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 He calls you drunk?!?! Sends emails?!?! But then says.. He doesn't know or needs time??!?! I would suggest telling him. Look.. IF you want to fix this.. Lets fix this now. IF he puts it off then move on IMO. I am not the best person to get advice from because I have my own issues, but me and my current ex dated in a LDR for 2 years before moving in together. If he is putting it off.. I am sorry to say he might have his eyes on someone els. BUT that is my opinion.
Author WaitingforRomance Posted September 5, 2012 Author Posted September 5, 2012 Yes, he has been getting drunk nearly every night since we broke up. His excessive drinking was always one of the biggest issues in our relationship as well, so I can't say I am surprised. Well, I have said that exact same thing to him about fixing this, and he acts like me giving him "time" is fixing it. One day he wants us to talk to figure things out, discuss the issues each of us had in the relationship, etc., then the next day he is telling me he just needs "time." And it goes back and forth like that, I'm so confused. And then when I bring up moving on, he says something like "I'm busy right now, I can't talk", and then I dont hear from him for a while. I really don't think there is anyone else. He just isn't that type of guy. He wouldn't be telling me every day that he loves me and misses me and telling me how he cries himself to sleep and can't eat if there was someone else. I would be super shocked if there was someone else because he just isn't the type that would do that to me, or to another girl. But I guess at this point, it's just best for me to move on, even if I don't want to.
tufa4311 Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 You can't do this over the phone, there is too much disconnection. You are both adults, you need to start (or finish) this in each others company. I would say it's your move as you made the first move in the break up. Let him know you are coming, buy a ticket, get on a plane, and go work this out face to face.
Charles Grey Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 I (31) was with my boyfriend (30) for almost 3 years, with almost all of that being long distance, including right now. We have been having some issues, the usual LDR communication issues and such, and one day I had just had enough and ended it. He was devastated, was sobbing, so was I. I was miserable right from the beginning, and realised that I had made a huge mistake, and a couple of days later I told him that, I wanted to work thru this. At that point, he was still a mess, he thought I had already mailed his stuff back to him, he had already deleted me from facebook and removed all pictures of us, but was still contacting me to tell me how much he loved me and missed me. At that point he never said yes or no about working things out, he was too distraught to even have a conversation with. So now it's been 1.5 weeks since I told him it was a mistake and I want to work things out. He has been calling me drunk at 4am just about every second night, and sending me emails and texts a few times a day, so of course I am thrilled, because I want him back. However, when I bring up getting back together and working things out, he says he needs "time", and I am not respecting that by pushing him, wanting answer. He still wants contact with me, when I suggest that we should go no contact while he has his "time", he starts acting like everything is ok between us, until I ask him again what is going on between us, and if he wants to work things out. So what do I do here? As much as I want to be with him, and work things out, I can't wait around and be there for him while he has his "time." what if his "time" lasts for months and then when it's up he has decided he wants to move on after all? where does that leave me? heartbroken again, obviously. I am so confused. I want to be with him still, so badly, but I feel like he's playing a game with me, and my feelings. Should I just move on? I really don't want to. Sorry if this is long. Thanks for taking the time to read it. Ask him straight up if he still wants to work things out with you, make sure that he answers you back in a serious manner...
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