relationship ended

[andyournameis]

I met the most amazing man 3 mths ago and we met up every night since the day we met, we never had a cross word or even an argument, we were best friends , lovers, we thought we were soul mates. He was the one to say he love me after 7 weeks and couldn't believe he was in love with me so quickly We were ment to go on a holiday in 2 wks time, we were waiting for a last minute deal. He even asked me to move into his house.

2 Saturday ago everything came crashing down, his ex girlfriend of 7 years (they spilt up 3 yrs ago) father died suddenly and she rang him in her hour of need and in the job he does he needs to be there to id the body. He called to her house that night and then on Sunday morning. He called to me that night I was so ill all day due to my teeth which is was getting an operation done on the Tuesday. we ended up having a big fight cause i said i was really unsure and uneasy about the whole thing as I felt he was getting too involved, he said horrible things like I was totally selfish, but I really thought we had such a good relationship (as we always talked about anything and everything) that I could tell him how I was feeling about the whole thing... He left my house after the argument, next day I was off work still sick with my teeth, I sent him a text to say i was sorry about the last night, he called over again the next day and I asked him was he just up he said no he was over in the ex girlfriends family home with her and then he said oh ya I have offered to drive them to the funeral, I was like but u are ment to drive me for my teeth operation tomorrow and do they not have funeral cars?? He went mad to say her father had died and why was I being selfish, to cut a long story short, I went for my operation on my own I got 1 phone call to see how I was then over the next 3 days I received 3 texts, when he asked how I was I told him I was so ill over the last couple of days and I even lost a stone he didn't care. He didn't even ring to see how I was, we used to see each other every night so with the funeral I didn't see him for 4 days then I him rang to see how he got on the day after the funeral he was so horrible to me on the phone i couldn't believe it... Then he said I can't call over because my ex girlfriend has my car for the last 2 days!!! plus she is calling over tonight, I just went fine what ever, then he rang on the friday night he called over to see me ... He came in sat on my couch looked at his mobile phone went through all the texts he had received from his ex girlfriend and started smiling to himself (he thought I wasn't looking) then he turned around and said I haven't thought about you all week dunno if we have a future (may i add he denying he even said it) then later he asked me how my day went I said I told u on the phone he said oh ya I wasn't listening to you. then i just said what are you doing here do you even want to be here or even with me any more he said dont be silly then we had cross words again, he was leaving my house and he said oh ya I need more space for a couple of days... I was so upset I said John there is a massive elephant in the room (which is the ex) and we are not talking about it he said please leave me alone, i can't talk about it.

So I thought about all night send him a text cause I thought he didn't want to be with me anymore I dumped him by text told him how much I loved him and I didn't want to do it but he was giving me no choice as he was pushing me away, he said asking for space for a couple of days is too much fine suit yourself... from that I took we were finished for good I was so upset.....I cancelled my holidays in work and the day for a wedding we were ment to go to, heard nothing for 4 days then my friend said hey fancy a holiday i said sure we will get a last min deal we booked at 5.30 pm on the tuesday then 8.15am on Wednesday I hear from John to say how sorry he was and I said we need to chat... So he called I told him he was being horrible and it was so unfair then I said I'm going on holiday in 3 days with my friend he went mental couldn't believe I was actually going, but I said I didn't hear from you for days it was a holiday to get over you... he left and was upset and I was too, he went to the wedding the next day on his own he wouldn't take me, after the wedding he rang and was drunk he was talking for 1.5hrs saying he was so embarrassed that he had told everyone about me and he was so excited for me to go and I wasn't there, he was how hurt angry and mad he was ... then he said look go on your holiday ill talk to you when u get back I just kept saying I so sorry about the whole mess..

Texted him after my weeks holiday to see if we could meet up but he texted back that he is still so mad and angry at me and what I did, he can never forgive me...so it has ended for good 5 days ago and there has been no contact since, I havent texted him either

What I'm trying to say why do I feel so bad about the whole thing? It's so unfair he was horrible to me and I know was right to walk away I really thought he didn't want me any more, why can't he see he was in the wrong?? Do you think that he might think in a couple of days he might want me back?

I think in the bottom of my heart I really want him back i love him we had such an amazing relationship before all this mess started... I so sorry for the long essay I need to get it off my chest.. I love to hear what people think especially and mans option please dont hold back I need to know the truth