Can't Stop Having Sex w/Ex

[KatZee]

Oh man, I am going through the SAME thing as you. It sucks. And I know how hard it is to walk away from it. My ex bf and I are still sleeping together and he STILL continues to tell me I am not the one.

 

:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

 

I am SO mad at you. You have no idea.

[youngnlove89]

:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

 

I am SO mad at you. You have no idea.

 

I KNEW IT!! I knew you would be mad, I was scared to post it! I am mad at me too!

 

I get so strong and then I let myself down. I have no one to blame but myself.

[KatZee]

I KNEW IT!! I knew you would be mad, I was scared to post it! I am mad at me too!

 

I get so strong and then I let myself down. I have no one to blame but myself.

 

I hope you learned your lesson and are you done with this nonsense.

[Sunberry]

Oh man, I am going through the SAME thing as you. It sucks. And I know how hard it is to walk away from it. My ex bf and I are still sleeping together and he STILL continues to tell me I am not the one. But he also tells me he loves me every time we part. And he says that what we are doing is not FWB or FB. It is more to him and that he still has feelings. It's hard to lose hope when the other person keeps giving you hope. When someone cuddles me, hugs me, says they love me, and kisses me and wants to hangout with me during their free time, it's hard to let go of the hope that maybe one day it will work out. But the evil fact remains: He still isn't sure if I am the one.

 

"It’s too easy, sometimes, to ignore the good moments when things are tough. The difficult bits are the monster in the closet that’s going to goggle you up in the middle of the night. They are merciless and resilient, a cleverly drawn shadow. A jabberwocky — all the more worse because of what your mind twists its existence into. What we imagine is always worse than what is put in front of us."

 

I miss who I thought my ex was. I miss what I thought we had together. But him using me to get what he wants and knowing how I feel, that isn't love. I think our broken hearts are really good at exaggerating what we think we have. This isn't love. What these boys are doing isn't because they love us. They are using us because we are letting them, the can say and do whatever they want at the moment to get what they want. It's diabolical! It's genius and I'm sure guys envy them all around the world. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

 

We can do this together. We need to realize that these "men" are using us to get what THEY want. They are selfish. They couldn't care less about our feelings! If they did, they would give us the opportunity to move on. But they are taking advantage of our hearts, they are taking advantage of our weak moments. Is that what we want?

 

Because to me it seems like we want love, but we aren't heading in the direction of love.

 

I honestly don't know how I feel right now. I do know that I don't deserve this..honestly this is somewhat the second time I was used by a guy, granted I've never been in a relationship before I met my now current ex. But that' a different story..I've caused so many people and I feel so ****ing angry right now..I still want him back and I still love him so much..but I can't go back on that text..I cursed him out soo much..then apologized, then said "once I feel free you'll know"..

 

I'm already planning for the Summer and for next year and stuff and I've given my family and friends so much grief. My best guy friend told me he lost respect for me and that made me feel so upset. I was okay a few minutes ago..why the hell am I upset now? WHY?!

[TaraMaiden]

I can't - and won't - take the credit for my post #21. But I can't remember the original poster, though I should, and I can't find it on here anywhere.

But it ties in beautifully with Caliguy's No Contact guide.

 

Sunberry, you feel like this because - as I have explained already - You've only just broken up.

The last time you saw him, for whatever reason, was your 'break-up'. So it's all fresh, new and painful.

 

Life starts here.

A new you, emerges here.

A new beginning with new things, begins here.

[leoc1973]

Oh my god do you know what you girls are allowing to happen? If there was any chance at all at winning these guys back you are letting it slip away. You are still giving them their regular dose of sex while they are emotionally removing themselves from you more and more. Every time you sleep with them you are losing them a little more not winning them back. Do you think that you are going to pull some crazy sex move out or show them how amazing you can be in bed and they are going to just flip their switch and wanna be with you again? NO!!!

 

Go out and date some new guys and if there is still love there they will go nuts to win you back. If they don't then you never had a chance to begin with.

 

I am a man and I am telling you that every time you have sex with him after he is done he regrets it. Listen to these other girls. Unless you are convincing yourself that you are using them to justify it in your own mind.

 

Remember they need to lose you before they will ever wanna come back.

[Sunberry]

Oh my god do you know what you girls are allowing to happen? If there was any chance at all at winning these guys back you are letting it slip away. You are still giving them their regular dose of sex while they are emotionally removing themselves from you more and more. Every time you sleep with them you are losing them a little more not winning them back. Do you think that you are going to pull some crazy sex move out or show them how amazing you can be in bed and they are going to just flip their switch and wanna be with you again? NO!!!

 

Go out and date some new guys and if there is still love there they will go nuts to win you back. If they don't then you never had a chance to begin with.

 

I am a man and I am telling you that every time you have sex with him after he is done he regrets it. Listen to these other girls. Unless you are convincing yourself that you are using them to justify it in your own mind.

 

Remember they need to lose you before they will ever wanna come back.

 

I honestly don't think there's any coming back from this one.. I want to really believe, but I've tried absolutely everything. I understand what you're saying though. In order for someone to miss something it has to be gone right? I've read a few stories about how people get back together even on the worse terms. It gave me some aspect of hope. But, why should I have any anymore? I wasted all of Summer crying every night, looking up answers, going to different boards, talking to different people/friends all to get a quick fix on how to heal myself and get him back. Still didn't change ****...

 

So, I just feel like even if I just disappeared he still wouldn't care..I made so much effort to not to and to make sure I was there for him whenever he was down..but whenever I needed help or cried, he wasn't there for me or told me to go somewhere else..I feel like he's relieved..

[KatZee]

So, I just feel like even if I just disappeared he still wouldn't care..I made so much effort to not to and to make sure I was there for him whenever he was down..but whenever I needed help or cried, he wasn't there for me or told me to go somewhere else..I feel like he's relieved..

 

So why is it you're still clinging to him then? What hurts more? The fact he never felt for you the way you did him? Or the fear of finally breaking free and having to face being alone?

 

This is not love, what you have going on with him. It wasn't even love when you guys were together. Maybe you loved him, but I believe in order to genuinely love someone else, you need to first love yourself. And I don't see anywhere that you love yourself, or even remotely like yourself.

 

I think you're clinging to this co-dependence, disillusioned with what you THOUGHT you had, but not what was reality. You want so much for him to be what you were to him, but he never was. And he never will be. You stayed longer than you should have.

 

And now you're just taking whatever crumbs of "affection" and "love" he throws at you (sex) because you feel like SOMETHING is better than nothing. It's not.

[leoc1973]

sunberry yes in part that is what I am saying. Yes for you to miss something it has to be gone. But I am sure you have read about it since you read so much about the subject but its about scarcity and valuing something that you can't get any time you want.

 

But most importantly what I am saying is that he is not even gone yet. He has you any time he wants so to him he is not gone and you aren't going anywhere. He isn't gone but you are making him leaving(which is what he is trying to do) very easy. You are comforting him during this very hard transition. Allowing him to get over you without ever feeling the pain of losing you.

 

Don't be his comfort!!! You are not his counselor or mother. When I broke up with my ex of 6 years it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I loved her but she had to go. I remember breaking up with her and yes I cried to myself too and was really heartbroken. I was letting someone go that I loved. I second guessed myself and even thought about going back because I did love her a lot. I almost did but what she did next stopped me. She lost it. She begged cried pleaded threatened me hit me got down on her knees and begged. I would just literally run away from her. A couple days would go by and then I would start to miss her and second guess myself again and call her to "see if she was ok" Another words see if she was slipping away and because she was very beautiful I was scared Sh-tless that she was going to go have sex with someone to comfort herself. Anyways the cycle kept repeating till I literally couldn't stomach her anymore. I didn't wanna go near her. She comforted my breaking up with her by making it so I never wanted to see her again. I wasn't afraid of losing her anymore because no matter what I did to that poor girl she would have taken me back.

 

Do not comfort his transition. You are blowing it every time you even see him and tell him you love him and miss him and wish you could work it out and be like you used to be. I really feel that if my ex had went NC and told me to go screw myself that she was fed up and done I would still be with her today.

[flitzanu]

Yeah...

 

We broke up about 3 months ago and the relationship lasted almost 3 years. His reason being he doesn't love me anymore and he's not feeling it. I did absolutely nothing wrong. Well, I begged and cried all Summer. When we finally saw each other after a month, we did it. But afterwards, he felt like an ass and apologized to me. Afterwards, it just kept happening every time we're alone. So, we tried not being alone. Still ended up happening.

 

I had a conversation w/him pretty indirectly, I'm passive, that we can't keep going like this. I still love him a lot. I've tried absolutely everything to get him to come back to me. He says no. He said if we got back together it will never work and that I need to move on. He said I need to try...He said he's tired of talking about it. Though every time we do talk about it..the Russian polka begins a few days away.

 

I honestly don't know what to do..I want him back..I truly do..He's my first everything and it's honestly hard seeing life w/out him...I keep thinking, and I asked him, if I give him space maybe we work things out. He still says I can hope and dream all I want, it's not going to happen. I still want to hope..but I was told to give up on hope..

 

Any advice would help greatly

 

EDIT: Something I'd like to add. I'm mostly the one talking to him. If we're around friends, he'll initiate and we'll talk like buddies(sp.) like and usually hot and cold. If not, then it's me. There are times when I text how his day is and stuff and he won't talk to me at all. But when we're alone he's really sweet.. =/

 

pretty simple actually, stop having sex with him. he isn't going to date you, obviously. so if you want to just be there to bang him until he finds a new chick (or even while he's with a new chick) then awesome. but don't assume just because he's banging you he isn't banging other chicks; and don't assume it means he feels anything for you.

[Sunberry]

sunberry yes in part that is what I am saying. Yes for you to miss something it has to be gone. But I am sure you have read about it since you read so much about the subject but its about scarcity and valuing something that you can't get any time you want.

 

But most importantly what I am saying is that he is not even gone yet. He has you any time he wants so to him he is not gone and you aren't going anywhere. He isn't gone but you are making him leaving(which is what he is trying to do) very easy. You are comforting him during this very hard transition. Allowing him to get over you without ever feeling the pain of losing you.

 

Don't be his comfort!!! You are not his counselor or mother. When I broke up with my ex of 6 years it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I loved her but she had to go. I remember breaking up with her and yes I cried to myself too and was really heartbroken. I was letting someone go that I loved. I second guessed myself and even thought about going back because I did love her a lot. I almost did but what she did next stopped me. She lost it. She begged cried pleaded threatened me hit me got down on her knees and begged. I would just literally run away from her. A couple days would go by and then I would start to miss her and second guess myself again and call her to "see if she was ok" Another words see if she was slipping away and because she was very beautiful I was scared Sh-tless that she was going to go have sex with someone to comfort herself. Anyways the cycle kept repeating till I literally couldn't stomach her anymore. I didn't wanna go near her. She comforted my breaking up with her by making it so I never wanted to see her again. I wasn't afraid of losing her anymore because no matter what I did to that poor girl she would have taken me back.

 

Do not comfort his transition. You are blowing it every time you even see him and tell him you love him and miss him and wish you could work it out and be like you used to be. I really feel that if my ex had went NC and told me to go screw myself that she was fed up and done I would still be with her today.

 

I sent him that text cursing him out and stuff..so idk..everytime I make a speech like that to him I end up coming back and apologizing. Though I feel very different about this time..I haven't messaged him since yesterday..Last night, I felt like yelling at him again, and saying "**** you" again and again and again..but I just fell asleep. He didn't text back..so I don't think he cares..

 

 

So why is it you're still clinging to him then? What hurts more? The fact he never felt for you the way you did him? Or the fear of finally breaking free and having to face being alone?

 

This is not love, what you have going on with him. It wasn't even love when you guys were together. Maybe you loved him, but I believe in order to genuinely love someone else, you need to first love yourself. And I don't see anywhere that you love yourself, or even remotely like yourself.

 

I think you're clinging to this co-dependence, disillusioned with what you THOUGHT you had, but not what was reality. You want so much for him to be what you were to him, but he never was. And he never will be. You stayed longer than you should have.

 

And now you're just taking whatever crumbs of "affection" and "love" he throws at you (sex) because you feel like SOMETHING is better than nothing. It's not.

 

I do love him, very much so. Though I admit, I was a bit clingy. I would try my best during to get a sense of my own independence. We went to separate colleges for a year and saw each other once a month. I view myself as a pretty girl, sometimes wishing I had longer hair, or better things, etc, etc.. but I usually think it's normal of most girl to wish these things. I like myself I believe..

Edited September 5, 2012 by Sunberry

[KatZee]

"I think I love myself. There are times when I look at myself in the mirror and am content w/myself..."

 

Mmmmmm, no. I'm not feeling it.

 

Content? To me that's like saying you look at yourself and go, "meh... acceptable."

 

Where you need to be at is where you're looking at yourself going, "DAMN! I'D DATE ME!" Where you can list each and every.single.one. of your amazing qualities. Where you KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt you'd NEVER let anyone use you, or mistreat you, or make you feel like you're disposable.

 

You're putting your love for this guy, above any love you may have for yourself. By continuing to sleep with him, by continuing to want him back... what exactly do you want back? A guy who doesn't even listen to you? A guy who tells you to go away? What about HIM is so attractive? Does he make you feel good about yourself? My answer is no, he doesn't. So again, what IS IT that this guy has that you want?

 

Start a list in this thread... what are his redeeming qualities? What about him is so fantastic to make you want to stay, to make you want this back?

 

When you start to love yourself, you WILL SEE that this guy HAS NOTHING THAT YOU WANT.

[Sunberry]

"I think I love myself. There are times when I look at myself in the mirror and am content w/myself..."

 

Mmmmmm, no. I'm not feeling it.

 

Content? To me that's like saying you look at yourself and go, "meh... acceptable."

 

Where you need to be at is where you're looking at yourself going, "DAMN! I'D DATE ME!" Where you can list each and every.single.one. of your amazing qualities. Where you KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt you'd NEVER let anyone use you, or mistreat you, or make you feel like you're disposable.

 

You're putting your love for this guy, above any love you may have for yourself. By continuing to sleep with him, by continuing to want him back... what exactly do you want back? A guy who doesn't even listen to you? A guy who tells you to go away? What about HIM is so attractive? Does he make you feel good about yourself? My answer is no, he doesn't. So again, what IS IT that this guy has that you want?

 

Start a list in this thread... what are his redeeming qualities? What about him is so fantastic to make you want to stay, to make you want this back?

 

When you start to love yourself, you WILL SEE that this guy HAS NOTHING THAT YOU WANT.

 

 

...I don't see that w/myself =/ I mean sometimes, I do..when I wear a pretty dress or something..or there are times when a guy tries to talk to me, where I actually feel like I stand out..but no..I feel content w/ how I look. I'm answering honestly. I'm not beautiful/gorgeous, I'm just a little over average I think..hell I might be average. I think my personality is good..I try to be the nicest person I can be..I'm open to a lot of things and I don't discriminate nor do I judge based off of looks, etc..and I love to make others smile..That's why I said I'm content w/myself..

 

As for the guy..he was funny, he had a very unique way of looking at things, he was very sweet, and he made me feel like the world stopped, and I loved him unconditionally..and I'd support whatever he wanted. Being around him made me think life was simpler than I thought it was. Though I do admit, there were many times where I felt like I was trying too much...and when I do..I try becoming more independent by doing things around my college..I'm probably not helping the case, lol. But, I'm answering as honestly as possible..

Edited September 5, 2012 by Sunberry

[sendme]

Sunberry ---

 

girl learn from me, my ex and I had AHMAZING sex... mind blowing once in a lifetime amazing sex...

 

but the relationship sucked, it tore me apart inside and out.... drove me to become a person I hated....

 

If you think you hurt now... keep sleeping with him, keep giving him what he wants, and sooner or later you'll become only one of the many whores he's using...

 

he's using you because sex feels good and it feeds his ego... keep sticking around and sooner or later they'll be another girl in the picture, and another one, and another one, and each and everyone will tear you apart....

 

walk away now...

 

don't tell him goodbye, don't have a heartbreaking discussion, change your number, move, keep your legs closed and walk away....

 

he doesn't need to hear your side of the story, you don't need to hear his, but you are worth far more than just his sex toy...

 

And for yourself... if you really, really just want to have sex, then find someone new to have sex with... it's not your ex, it may not be mind blowing amazing... but it'll be something...

[Sunberry]

I don't plan on talking to him. I doubt I'll even see him for the next couple of months. We go to different colleges..I took a nap and I woke up and felt like I was dying. My anxiety is coming back..

 

I bought a self-love book, if it helps..

[KatZee]

I don't plan on talking to him. I doubt I'll even see him for the next couple of months. We go to different colleges..I took a nap and I woke up and felt like I was dying. My anxiety is coming back..

 

I bought a self-love book, if it helps..

 

Anything helps. Anything you do now which takes the focus off your ex, and puts it on yourself is helping.

 

The way you're handling this shows you have a lot of strength though. 90% of people on here can't just cut the cord the way you just did. Great job.

[Sunberry]

Anything helps. Anything you do now which takes the focus off your ex, and puts it on yourself is helping.

 

The way you're handling this shows you have a lot of strength though. 90% of people on here can't just cut the cord the way you just did. Great job.

 

Are you really suppose to feel all those things about yourself? Does that show I'm not happy w/myself even though I'm at least satisfied. Sometimes I do wish I could look a bit better or dress better..or be as appealing as some other girls..but are you truly suppose to feel that way yourself and feel whole or something?

 

I'm starting to get really angry again...I feel so bipolar..

[sendme]

The love hate anger makes sense and is normal... I agree and disagree with Kay zee loving yourself is more than knowing your beautiful and a catch it's knowing you are valuable and worth being cherished regardless if how you look... Hang in there girl well do it together... I'm at 24hrs nc and its killing ne

[Sunberry]

The love hate anger makes sense and is normal... I agree and disagree with Kay zee loving yourself is more than knowing your beautiful and a catch it's knowing you are valuable and worth being cherished regardless if how you look... Hang in there girl well do it together... I'm at 24hrs nc and its killing me

 

I hope you get through it just as much as I am..

 

Day 3 is almost over and I'm going on Day 4. I left my phone in my dorm and came back and I received nothing. I shouldn't expect anything from him I don't think..

 

Today, I realized I need to study and organize more. I'm failing a class and realize I have to study twice as hard for it... I plan to do that this weekend and catch up.. My anxiety is coming back slowly..I woke up from a dream about him and my chest hurt. I looked at my phone and thought about apologizing to him for that angry text I sent him and hoping he has a good life. But then I saw this board..I think I'd be only apologizing because I want there to be a good chance of reconciliation and because what I sent was mean..though..I always apologize..maybe it's best if I stay silent..

Edited September 8, 2012 by Sunberry

[KatZee]

Are you really suppose to feel all those things about yourself? Does that show I'm not happy w/myself even though I'm at least satisfied. Sometimes I do wish I could look a bit better or dress better..or be as appealing as some other girls..but are you truly suppose to feel that way yourself and feel whole or something?

 

I'm starting to get really angry again...I feel so bipolar..

 

Uh yeah! Absolutely! You're supposed to love yourself like crazy! I started a thread on here because I thought I was going nuts in the head. My ex tore me down like crazy. Criticized me all the time. Made it out to be that it was ME who was the problem in the relationship. Everything was my fault. Everything I did was wrong. I didn't act correctly. I didn't do the right things. He never took even one ounce of responsibility for anything. I was the best I could be for him and he was out cheating, lying to my face, emotionally abusing me. I can tell you my confidence, my self esteem, and the love I had for myself was non existent.

 

All I cared about was how I could be "better" for him. How I could sacrifice, accommodate, and change for him. I started watching what I said around him. I modified my behaviors. Everything was all about him. I didn't care about myself. All I did was accept the scraps he threw at me. I didn't demand anything more. I loved him too much and I settled for too little.

 

When he broke up with me I was sad of course. I tried doing things to get him back. I read all up on how to get the ex back... then weeks passed and I realized... why the hell would I even want that back? He was no good! But I was still sad. More weeks passed. The anger kicked in. Now I was REALLY starting to see he was no good. He was so insecure he felt the need to knock me down and bring me to his level.

 

More weeks passed and the anger turned to indifference.

 

One day I woke up and looked at myself in the mirror and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that my ex had nothing I wanted. He wasn't deserving of me at all. I'm a great person. I'm caring. And gorgeous. And smart. And witty, and funny, and charming, and generous, and selfless, and supportive, and beautiful, and a HUGE CATCH!!!

 

I started feeling like I was becoming super narcissistic. I actually fell in love with myself. I'd look in the mirror and be jealous (of myself!... how does this even happen?) And this is how I still feel. I love my life. I love myself. I'm so happy. My ex is nothing to me. He will never again make me feel like a piece of sh*t and no man will EVER again treat me like I'm disposable.

[Sunberry]

Uh yeah! Absolutely! You're supposed to love yourself like crazy! I started a thread on here because I thought I was going nuts in the head. My ex tore me down like crazy. Criticized me all the time. Made it out to be that it was ME who was the problem in the relationship. Everything was my fault. Everything I did was wrong. I didn't act correctly. I didn't do the right things. He never took even one ounce of responsibility for anything. I was the best I could be for him and he was out cheating, lying to my face, emotionally abusing me. I can tell you my confidence, my self esteem, and the love I had for myself was non existent.

 

All I cared about was how I could be "better" for him. How I could sacrifice, accommodate, and change for him. I started watching what I said around him. I modified my behaviors. Everything was all about him. I didn't care about myself. All I did was accept the scraps he threw at me. I didn't demand anything more. I loved him too much and I settled for too little.

 

When he broke up with me I was sad of course. I tried doing things to get him back. I read all up on how to get the ex back... then weeks passed and I realized... why the hell would I even want that back? He was no good! But I was still sad. More weeks passed. The anger kicked in. Now I was REALLY starting to see he was no good. He was so insecure he felt the need to knock me down and bring me to his level.

 

More weeks passed and the anger turned to indifference.

 

One day I woke up and looked at myself in the mirror and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that my ex had nothing I wanted. He wasn't deserving of me at all. I'm a great person. I'm caring. And gorgeous. And smart. And witty, and funny, and charming, and generous, and selfless, and supportive, and beautiful, and a HUGE CATCH!!!

 

I started feeling like I was becoming super narcissistic. I actually fell in love with myself. I'd look in the mirror and be jealous (of myself!... how does this even happen?) And this is how I still feel. I love my life. I love myself. I'm so happy. My ex is nothing to me. He will never again make me feel like a piece of sh*t and no man will EVER again treat me like I'm disposable.

 

I might reach that point one day...

I talked w/a very close friend..and she got upset w/ me.. she said:

 

"it's obvious that if you have sex with him everytime you see him he's going to go for it and apologize afterwards. You're giving him the chance and I don't believe you anymore, you're probably going to end up talking to him. If you don't take people's advise and then go around bothering people with your problems, then it's entirely your fault. You have to learn from your mistakes, this very blunt person was not the only one who warned you. You finally realized that having sex with him trying to lure him with sex was not going to work and got pissed off.

 

I'm always really supportive and all but if you let all this **** happen and then come and tell me all this **** out of nowhere it's ****.

Luring with sex never works, that's how you get 'used.' Which is not even getting used it's you making a huge manipulative move that doesn't work. The guy was clear when he broke up with you and luring him with sex isn't the way to get someone back. Ever!!!!!

 

 

 

You can't go around doing this to people, that's how people lose respect for you."

 

EDIT:

"Oh my god stop apologizing! You always do this :| this is what people get pissed off about. You went and did everything you told me about without even thinking about being sorry. What's the point? Stand up for your **** and just move on, and stop dwelling in it all. Stop thinking about stupid **** and worry about school which is what you should've worry about in the first place Jesus Christ!

 

 

It's not even about listening to people but if everytime you **** up you're going to apologize and "listen to people" it's not high school anymore! Grow up"

 

 

 

 

I'm just going to be myself for a while..I do feel I need to let him know things..but I'm not going to apologize. I do think I need to put this behind me and move on..he's not coming back..I should just give up eveything now and worry about what's happening around me. Please don't give me anymore flack please..I get it, I ****ed up..and I have no one but myself to blame..

Edited September 8, 2012 by Sunberry

[TaraMaiden]

No.

 

You.

 

Don't!

 

Keep right away from him...!!

 

jeezus~kerrist for once in your life, listen to what other people are telling you!!!

Your friend may have been harsh, and she may have had a point - but you don't now go to him and apologise... for - what, exactly??

 

Every decision you've ever made on your own, concerning him has brought you nothing but tears.

Now listen to others, and do something differently, for a change!

Quit with the simpering, and for goodness' sake, "Grow up" !

You don't owe him anything so quit self-sabotaging ,and stop with the wussy posts!

[TaraMaiden]

Right, well you edited your post while I was typing....

so, sorry if it's harsh. But really, you need sitting down and giving a reality check....

 

Please please do NOT contact him for anything!

You have nothing to tell him, to explain, to clarify to put right.

leave him be, do not go to him for anything!

Go No Contact, stay No Contact and never get in touch with him for anything whatsoever!!

 

PLEASE!!!

[Sunberry]

I read that post at the very last minute. My internet went down for awhile.. =/

[geegirl]

I do feel I need to let him know things..but I'm not going to apologize. I do think I need to put this behind me and move on..he's not coming back..I should just give up eveything now and worry about what's happening around me. Please don't give me anymore flack please..I get it, I ****ed up..and I have no one but myself to blame..

 

Your judgment has let you down time and time again. You keep making choices that are detrimental to you. All the people around you, whether friends or strangers on a forum cannot be wrong when they tell you to stay away from him. If there is anyone you cannot trust right now, it is you.

 

DO NOT CONTACT HIM. What do you need to let him know? He KNOWS he used you for sex. He KNOWS he disrespected you. He KNOWS he hurt you. You don't need to let him know because when he knew what he was doing, he didn't care that he was doing it. So, telling him, doesn't change how callous he felt then or how callous he feels now. So, what is your objective? He won't even care if you move on or stay. When someone doesn't love you, your feelings are of no importance to them.

 

Stop bargaining with yourself. You keep wanting to go back for no reason other than to just see if maybe this one more time it'll be different. You want to see that if he sees he's losing you, he may change his mind. You want to force some sort of realization onto him. Nothing more to say. Nothing more to tell. It may matter to you but it won't matter to him. His treatment of you is an indication that whatever you feel and say means absolutely nothing to him. Try no to project what you feel onto him. He does not care.

 

Please Sunberry. You won't listen to those that care but you insist on going back to the one that consistently hurts and uses you.

Edited September 8, 2012 by geegirl