travelbug1996 Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 The person you've known and liked for 3 months (no sex) was recovering addict of 20 years?? Successful, mature, single and ready for a relationship. Would you judge that person or take a chance?
ScreamingTrees Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 20 years off of the drugs? Sure. If she lasted that long, who's to say that all of the sudden she's going to revert back? But how can I be sure that tshe's not yanking my chain? If I were in this situation, that is. 1
Author travelbug1996 Posted September 4, 2012 Author Posted September 4, 2012 Other people that we both know can attest to the fact that this person has been clean that long. Its just that people can be so judgemental.
Quiet Storm Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 How many relapses during that time? Does he seem to have good coping skills? Addicts often turn to drugs or alcohol because their parents never taught them coping skills to deal with problems, adversity and negative feelings. Instead of working through their problems and allowing the negative or sad feelings to pass, they abuse substances to numb themselves. Those that are the most successful in recovery tend to be the ones that had long term counseling to learn coping skills. In difficult situations, they use their new coping tools instead of turning to the drugs/booze. I would pay attention to how he deals with his problems, and if he does it in a healthy way. I would also watch for other addictions, such as porn, video games, etc. because addicts often replace one addiction for another. Three months is not very long to get to know someone. Do you have any mutual friends that have known him longer? Watch for sneaky behavior, mood swings, odd personality changes, weird sleep patterns. I'm not sure what his drug of choice is. If is it opiates or pain pills, you may be able to tell by his pupils. Coke users often do strange jaw movements and poop a lot. Meth addicts will stay up for days at a time. There is always a risk that he will relapse, which is a very common and even expected. If he has had 20 years with no relapses, he is doing great. If you are getting the sugarcoated version, he has probably relapsed and got clean more than a few times. I would just keep my eyes open for strange behavior. Be cautious, but optimistic.
O'farrell Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 As long as its not caffeine or marijuana addiction im good.
Author travelbug1996 Posted September 4, 2012 Author Posted September 4, 2012 No relapses. This person has been actively addressing their issues through 5th step work, meeting, church and just trying to be an all around better person.
Author travelbug1996 Posted September 4, 2012 Author Posted September 4, 2012 Are you saying that non recovering addicts don't display sneaky behavior, mood swings, odd personality changes, weird sleep patterns. ???
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