Why does my ex boyfriend need to tell me how much he is going out now??

[jst4today]

I moved to France a year ago to be with my French boyfriend whom I met when he was studying in the US. We had been together for a total of three years, but this past year of living together in a foreign country (for me) it all fell apart. He broke up with me at the end of July and since then I've been totally devastated. I had intended on living here with him while he finished school for at least 2 years so when he ended it and demanded we move out of our apartment I had an agonizing 5 weeks of trying to decide to go home or to try and make it on my own here. I finally decided to go home about a week ago and pretty much start over in the US which was SUCH a difficult decision to make because I absolutely love it here. (plus I thought he was *the one* and we were going to make a life together)

 

So, the first weeks after the break up my ex was clearly very angry with me, cold, told me he didn't love me anymore, etc. I had to see him a couple of times at mutual friends' parties which was difficult because he acted like he didn't even know me. (Just really short, aloof, etc.... not mean or anything like that at the parties). All of that hurt, but I understand it's part of the break up process.

 

OKAY, so that's a bit of background, and I get why he was cold, angry, not talking about his feelings... I've read all the articles about how guys "handle" break ups so I get it.......Anyways, obviously because we shared a place together (he hasn't been living here though, he's staying at a friend's) we still have a lot of moving out, division of stuff, etc. which has made it impossible to even try the whole NC thing. Not to mention my cell phone here was on his account, we share a bank account, we have to sell a lot of our furniture which means we have to have these "discussions" and "meetings" about it all.

 

About a week ago I finally decided to go home at the end of September. I told him my decision, and we made plans last Sunday to go through our shared things, price the furniture we wanted to cell, clean out our storage unit, etc. He ended up spending the afternoon here and we were very civil and constructively got a lot done.

 

He then suggested we go to dinner and I agreed. It was "nice" I guess, but I am just so confused about his behavior. It seems like ever since I told him I was leaving he has been much nicer to me. (probably because he is happy I'm leaving or happy that I'm going to continue to pursue the goals I had in life.) Basically throughout the day and it got worse into the evening he kept kind of dropping little sexual hints/jokes, which I went along with, so there was a lot of sexual tension I guess. The worst thing though was he could not tell me enough how he never slept anymore because he was going out with friends from work until 6am, partying every night, how he's nervous about the next school year because he won't have anybody to "regulate" him and he's just been partying so much lately, blah blah blah. He was also the kind of guy who never called sex "f*cking" (sorry for the bad language) it was always referred to as "making love." Which I found to be a sweet quality in him. But the other night he even made comments, supposedly joking, about girls he would f*ck in the future. I was a bit taken back by his overall change in personality, language, cockiness, etc. Especially since he knows that he totally broke my heart and I've been having an extremely difficult time with our break up, how could he be so insensitive??? It got to the point where I kind of started rolling my eyes at his ridiculous repetitive nonsense. Another thing... he has continued to ask me what I have been up to, what I'm doing tonight, and when I give a vague response he asks for more details. I never ask him, because I honestly don't want to know.

 

At the end of the evening, he did the whole French kiss on the cheeks thing to say goodbye. Which I had specifically told him made me feel uncomfortable as we never did it as a couple, and it was just too difficult to be that close to him. Then asked me if I needed anything...like money or a subway ticket. Which, by the way, he had spent the first weeks of our break up complaining about how I never had any money and always needed his "help." I declined, but found it all so odd.

 

Can anybody help me understand what is going on???

[Gab09]

He is probably not coping with the break up and is trying to occupy all his time on "partying".. That cockiness he shows is actually insecurity he is trying to make you feel like he is ok, and handling everything fine.

 

I'm guilty for having used that tactic some time ago in the past, but it shouldn't fool you.. I'm pretty sure he is a little worried about how he will feel once you leave, and probably is trying to make up a little of how much he hurt you by being nice to you before you leave.

 

 

He will regret it, of that, you can be sure of.

 

Best of luck, from a broken heart to another :/

[mfluder]

I agree with Gab, although I would add that that it sounds like he could see your moving back to the US as a sign that you are in the process of moving on, and he wants you to think that he has moved on too. All a pride/ego thing. I know, because I've done it myself in the past.

[jst4today]

So, as I explained, my cell phone is on my ex's account, and because I had initially signed up for a 2 year contract it will cost me 150€ to terminate early. My ex expects me to pay for this--- I personally feel he should pay but maybe I'm wrong.

 

We were supposed to meet Wednesday to go to the phone store but this morning I told him that I don't want

To pay and I don't want to see him bc it's difficult to hear him go on and on about his new freedom, partying, etc. I decided this bc last night a mutual friend of ours was telling me that he was going on about the same thing to her and her boyfriend basically saying he's so happy not to have any attachment like thy do. Rude?! I don't get him, it's like he's out to prove something to everyone else bc he's doubtful about his decision.

 

When I told him I didn't want to see him he sent this long message saying he didn't see other girls, how he was ashamed for trying to share what's going on in his life with me, and how he was "happy about the past two days we had seen each other but he guesses he was wrong"

 

This guy is driving me crazy I can't figure him out! Help!! Please :-(