lunat1ccc Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 (edited) I am in a long distance relationship with my Army girlfriend (met during training, got to know her for about 3-4 months), who is currently stationed in Europe. I have been discharged and back in the States trying to find work now. Anyway, we do have our ups and downs but we manage. She's stationed there for 2 years, and we have planned visits, from both ends. I'll be visiting her for Christmas and she'll be visiting my family in March. We've been together for almost 6 months now. Anyway, my ex added me on Facebook a few days ago. I have no hard feelings, so I accepted. We met in college and we practically did everything together, and the relationship lasted 1.5 years. We broke up because she felt I never listened to her and I think she wanted to experience something new. Anyway, last night, we were reminiscing about the times we shared and all the funny things we did together. It's funny because I still remember them clearly, and she also told me the same. We broke up back in 2009 but had few contacts here and there. I ended up staying up all night from 1AM-6-7AM just talking with her and laughing over stupid things we did together. She mentioned that she wanted to try things again with me and I could tell she regretted how much of a good person I was to her. The thing is, I love my girlfriend and she loves me a lot too. It's hard at times because long distance and the time difference makes it difficult at times, but when I picture her close to me, I am happy. I just feel lost because the memories I've shared with my ex is so vivid.. and she remembers everything in detail. I was really hurt after we broke up because she moved on so quickly, and she tells me it was a coping mechanism. She was my first long term and it just seems that even after the years have passed, some things just stick in my memory. Anyway, I've also had some issues with my girlfriend, because being in the Army means that she is always surrounded by males. I trust her that she wouldn't cheat, but I admit I do get jealous when she's always with them in the barracks, and I feel like I'm not a priority. I guess I can relate since when I was dorming in college, I was always with my friends across the hall and hanging out. I'm just jealous that she mostly has male friends, and since she's around them so much, she's started talking like them . Is it wrong to be reminiscing with my ex? I'm not a cheater and never will, but I just feel weird that the memories still affect me and how I wonder how things would've turned out had I still been with my ex. But I do love my girlfriend.. just wish she was closer to me, and I think that would really solve so many problems we have while doing long distance. Edited September 3, 2012 by lunat1ccc
navyblueskies Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 Sorry, not to be rude, but arm relationships typically don't last. You two are going to change so much independently, you won't be able to really recognize the other. Your identity as a couple is change. If you really love your girlfriend, stick with her. I've survived long distance thus far. I also know it feels not to be a priority. It really sucks. But you seem to have connected with your ex in a way that has made you realize that there's something better and deeper out there. It's not good to have the "grass is always greener" concept, but you always need to do what's best for yourself. Your current situation with girlfriend sounds a bit unhealthy. I know what it's like. My fiance is friends with lots of males too. It's a bit hard. It kind of sucks, but we've also been together for two years. Reconnecting with exes never seems to work out either, because something usually goes wrong. Again, the whole changing while being apart. I'll be honest and tell you either girl is a toss up either way. Both the risk of how unhealthy and satisfying they are sound about equal. If I were you, I would just find someone new and be single, since you're split already.
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