BetheButterfly Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Hello, Today is my husband's and my first year anniversary!!! I am so thankful to God for himl!!! He is awesome!!! We are soulmates; he is my lover and my best friend!!! Even though our marriage is so young, we feel our love and our knowing each other is timeless ♥ I love him so much and know without a doubt that he loves me so much too. Even though it's so true that life is not perfect, I very much hope that my hubby and I grow old together and enjoy each year together. Time is so limited; each second being together is a treasure!!! I don't know the future of course, but I am grateful for the present. If you and your Special Someone are happily married, it would be great to hear from you and any advice you have to a newly wed couple!!! Thanks!!! Have to go now and get ready for our date!!! 14
melodymatters Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Congrats ! We are closing in our one year wedding anniversary, and I can easily say this has been the best relationship EVER.My husband often says this has been the happiest year of his life. You are right about time being precious, I was widowed before, and every night I wake up and F is beside me: warm, breathing, just THERE, I feel so very blessed and never take a moment for granted. Being in a healthy, supportive, romantic marriage is the most wonderful feeling on earth. LUCKY US, right !?! (PS. I met F in my forties, so it is never too late !) 7
quankanne Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 congratulations to both you ladies :love: old-timer here, just celebrated 20 years this past June, and I gotta be honest: I never expected to *be* married, much less *stay* married, but on a personal level, it's the best thing that I've done in life. I honestly don't think I would have done this with anyone else, or as well, because we just mesh together so well. any advice? Ah ... never, ever pass up the chance to tell each other you love each other. It makes a huge difference knowing that love is the bedrock of your relationship 7
KathyM Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Congratulations! Marriage is a wonderful thing when you've made a good choice and are committed to doing what it takes to make it work. I've been married to the same man for many years and still very happily married. We've had our rough times in the past, but have always weathered the storms and whatever adversity life has thrown our way. The secret to a long lasting marriage is remaining affectionate to your spouse with plenty of physical displays of affection. Forgiveness for the times he/she says something he shouldn't or doesn't do something he should have. Remaining emotionally connected through spending quality time together and talking about things together. Investing time in the relationship and making the marriage a priority. Having kids will be a test of your love for each other, so do not allow them to take priority over your marriage. They need your marriage to be strong, and they will benefit from seeing that you give it a priority. 2
xxoo Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Happy anniversary, butterfly! any advice? Ah ... never, ever pass up the chance to tell each other you love each other. It makes a huge difference knowing that love is the bedrock of your relationship And show your love! Compete with each other to be the most thoughtful, loving, caring partner. Everyone wins 1
Eve Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Hello, Today is my husband's and my first year anniversary!!! I am so thankful to God for himl!!! He is awesome!!! We are soulmates; he is my lover and my best friend!!! Even though our marriage is so young, we feel our love and our knowing each other is timeless ♥ I love him so much and know without a doubt that he loves me so much too. Even though it's so true that life is not perfect, I very much hope that my hubby and I grow old together and enjoy each year together. Time is so limited; each second being together is a treasure!!! I don't know the future of course, but I am grateful for the present. If you and your Special Someone are happily married, it would be great to hear from you and any advice you have to a newly wed couple!!! Thanks!!! Have to go now and get ready for our date!!! Congratulations! Best advice? Keep God first between you and cherish each other in prayer and deed. Tell each other all your dreams and always be honest. Laugh together and feel each other up a lot. Every now and then get a bit tipsy together and dance naked - and don't forget to make room to travel together wherever possible. .. and if you are into babies, have them. God Bless, Take care, Eve x 2
Author BetheButterfly Posted September 4, 2012 Author Posted September 4, 2012 Happy anniversary, butterfly! And show your love! Compete with each other to be the most thoughtful, loving, caring partner. Everyone wins That's an awesome quote xxooo! I'm not normally a competitive person, but I absolutely love the idea of competing with my hubby to be loving and thoughtful, cause you are so right, everyone wins!!!
Author BetheButterfly Posted September 4, 2012 Author Posted September 4, 2012 Congrats ! We are closing in our one year wedding anniversary, and I can easily say this has been the best relationship EVER.My husband often says this has been the happiest year of his life. You are right about time being precious, I was widowed before, and every night I wake up and F is beside me: warm, breathing, just THERE, I feel so very blessed and never take a moment for granted. Being in a healthy, supportive, romantic marriage is the most wonderful feeling on earth. LUCKY US, right !?! (PS. I met F in my forties, so it is never too late !) Congratulations to you and your husband!!! Yes, "Being in a healthy, supportive, romantic marriage is the most wonderful feeling on earth." is so true!!! I wish everybody who wanted to be married/ is married was in this type of marriage! You are right! It's never too late!
Author BetheButterfly Posted September 4, 2012 Author Posted September 4, 2012 congratulations to both you ladies :love: old-timer here, just celebrated 20 years this past June, and I gotta be honest: I never expected to *be* married, much less *stay* married, but on a personal level, it's the best thing that I've done in life. I honestly don't think I would have done this with anyone else, or as well, because we just mesh together so well. any advice? Ah ... never, ever pass up the chance to tell each other you love each other. It makes a huge difference knowing that love is the bedrock of your relationship Wow!!! 20 years!!! Congratulations Quankanne!!! Great advice thanks! (I love the darling doggy in your avatar, by the way!) 1
Radu Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 Congrats. An as a suggestion, bookmark this thread for when you get your first major fight. 4
JamesM Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 Congratulations! We have been married for over 22 years. It has had many ups and downs. You WILL lose that first year enthusiasm and replace it with a more quieter and secure happiness. You will look back and realize how much you have grown together and wonder how you "made it" at times. Yet you will stand back and see no other better alternative than the life you have. While we have our ongoing problems that seem unsolvable at times, I can say that I would still choose her for my wife. (However, I may do some things differently along the way! ) She just mentioned to me the other night as she pushed me back on the bed, "I still would pick you all over again." Nice words to hear. Advice? If you had not had any major fights yet where you wish you had never seen the guy, then prepare for the possibility/inevitability. And know that when the feelings that you have now, which you cannot imagine ever losing, leave you...then you must resolve to stay just as committed until the feelings return again because they will if you keep moving forward together. I promise...from experience. Children may come, financial troubles may come, and medical problems will arise. All will present some major challenges. If you can handle them together and support each other as friends and not apart, then your future will be good. Above all, since you mentioned your love for God, make Him a central part of your marriage and seek out His will for your life together. Enjoy the honeymoon years! And do not be afraid that the future will bring any less happiness. However, be prepared for the unexpected. Many, many couples who are now divorced felt as you do after a year or two of marriage. What made the difference between the divorced couples and the ones who are still married is one thing: commitment when commitment did not feel good. Love is much more than a feeling. It is a commitment. 4
Nyla Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 Happy Anniversary!! Hope you had fun. Make sure that the two of you agree on important issues. My husband and I are blessed that we both feel the same way about opting out of parenthood and staying in the city rather than moving to the suburbs. Our second anniversary is next month. I am very happy that we had some major crises during our engagement and first year; my therapist said our marriage is unusually solid for the short time we have been husband and wife. We learned very early on how to effectively resolve conflict and draw closer when life is hard. I love how hard times have only strengthened us as a couple and as individuals. There have been times where I have become exasperated and angered by our challlenges, but we managed to get through them, emerging triumphant and more in love than ever. In our first year of marriage, I was hit by a car and my parents did not speak to us for a year because we eloped. While we were engaged, My husband lost his job the week after he proposed and could not find another for a whole year. We went into this marriage with adjusted and more mature expectations when the recession hit us harder than any other couple in our social circle or family. Most people think we are still on our honeymoon and therefore in the "easy" stage of our marriage, but we know better. Our struggles taught us that marriage in not always romantic and enjoyable. 2
JamesM Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 Most people think we are still on our honeymoon and therefore in the "easy" stage of our marriage, but we know better. Our struggles taught us that marriage in not always romantic and enjoyable. The first years are not always easy when looking back or when in them. We both say that we did alot of fighting in our first year. We were two stubborn independent people who had lived on our own. I always said that it would have been much easier if she simply did things my way more often. BTW, I like your attitude and hope it continues while your love grows stronger and more secure.
Art_Critic Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 Hello, Today is my husband's and my first year anniversary!!! I am so thankful to God for himl!!! He is awesome!!! We are soulmates; he is my lover and my best friend!!! Even though our marriage is so young, we feel our love and our knowing each other is timeless ♥ I love him so much and know without a doubt that he loves me so much too. WooHoo.... Congrats Congrats ! We are closing in our one year wedding anniversary, and I can easily say this has been the best relationship EVER.My husband often says this has been the happiest year of his life. WooHoo Too !!!!!! Congrats MM.... The wife and I are at 5 years this coming Sunday... While it was and has been trying at times it certainly has been the best 5 years I've loved and lived... 3
threebyfate Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 Many 'grats on your first anniversary! Isn't it lovely to share the intimacy of being together? We're headed for our third anniversary next month and any time soon, the birth of our second boy. Yeah, do the math, we got pregnant while engaged, for our first! Not that we've got a lot of years to talk about but if you consider how quickly our lives have changed in less than 4 years, it could have been hellish with the wrong person. As it stands, it's been the best years of my life! My advice to you is to relax, enjoy and try not to sweat the small stuff. Maintain intimacy as much as possible, woo him like a virgin, seduce him and woman-handle him against the wall. He'll beg for more and return the favour tenfold, keeping the chemistry alive even through stressed times like having children! 4
Author BetheButterfly Posted September 6, 2012 Author Posted September 6, 2012 Congratulations! Best advice? Keep God first between you and cherish each other in prayer and deed. Tell each other all your dreams and always be honest. Laugh together and feel each other up a lot. Every now and then get a bit tipsy together and dance naked - and don't forget to make room to travel together wherever possible. .. and if you are into babies, have them. God Bless, Take care, Eve x I love your advice Eve especially keeping God first, cherishing each other in prayer, telling our dreams, and dancing naked!!! We hope to have babies soon if God wills! God bless you too!!! 1
Author BetheButterfly Posted September 6, 2012 Author Posted September 6, 2012 Congrats. An as a suggestion, bookmark this thread for when you get your first major fight. Ok We've had several minor fights... mostly it's due to my sensitive moodiness. I am so thankful that he is extremely intelligent and caring and knows how to seduce me out of a bad mood. He is a lover, not a fighter. I think one of the reasons why we haven't had a major fight yet is because he's big into communicating. Whenever I'm upset, he will come and hold my hand, look into my eyes, and talk with me. I can literally feel his love for me. You don't know how special and beloved I feel when he does that. He is confident enough to apologize when he does something that bothers me (some men don't) and I also apologize when I do something that bothers him. Then we have fun!!! But yes, I will remember this thread if we ever get into a major fight... I'm sure it will eventually come. One thing that's interesting about relationships is how people in the relationship resolve major fights, hmm? 1
TaraMaiden Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 My mother and father married on the 3rd September, 1953. She was just short of her 21st birthday, he was 32. They met when my mother was 17. She couldn't speak a word of English, and his Italian was completely hopeless. They communicated in French. My father asked her to marry him the same year they met, but they had to wait until her 21st year to do it.... My father died in October 2010, aged 89. They had been married 57 years. My father was the first - and only - man my mother had ever loved. May you too, be blessed with a long, happy, eventful and successful marriage. 3
Author BetheButterfly Posted September 6, 2012 Author Posted September 6, 2012 Congratulations! We have been married for over 22 years. Thank you!! Congratulations to you too!!! Wow! 22 years is an achievement in these days! It has had many ups and downs. You WILL lose that first year enthusiasm and replace it with a more quieter and secure happiness. Hey! Don't burst my bubble! You will look back and realize how much you have grown together and wonder how you "made it" at times. Yet you will stand back and see no other better alternative than the life you have. Sounds cool While we have our ongoing problems that seem unsolvable at times, I can say that I would still choose her for my wife. (However, I may do some things differently along the way! ) She just mentioned to me the other night as she pushed me back on the bed, "I still would pick you all over again." Nice words to hear. That's awesome!!! Advice? If you had not had any major fights yet where you wish you had never seen the guy, then prepare for the possibility/inevitability. You sound like Radu. And know that when the feelings that you have now, which you cannot imagine ever losing, leave you...then you must resolve to stay just as committed until the feelings return again because they will if you keep moving forward together. I promise...from experience. Well, I know that's good advice. Since we are in the honeymoon stage, it's hard to imagine further down the road. I hope to continue posting here throughout my life and I hope that my husband and my marriage stays strong all throughout our lives. Children may come, financial troubles may come, and medical problems will arise. All will present some major challenges. If you can handle them together and support each other as friends and not apart, then your future will be good. Above all, since you mentioned your love for God, make Him a central part of your marriage and seek out His will for your life together. True and very good advice!!! Yep! My husband and I consider our marriage to be like a triangle with God being the top angle. I know that God is the One who helps my husband sometimes when I'm being a pill (I can be quite a pill, according to my Mom lol). God is also helping me mature, which is an ongoing process. Yes that is true... I actually do think that having children will put more stress on our relationship that we don't have right now. We need to wait till the right time. Yes, we already feel a little pressure for the financial area. I personally wish there was no such thing as money but nobody asked me. ;p Yeah I can see how medical issues bring challenges. My husband and I experience that because of my health issues. Enjoy the honeymoon years! And do not be afraid that the future will bring any less happiness. However, be prepared for the unexpected. Great advice Many, many couples who are now divorced felt as you do after a year or two of marriage. What made the difference between the divorced couples and the ones who are still married is one thing: commitment when commitment did not feel good. Love is much more than a feeling. It is a commitment. So true. You are 100% right! Love is commitment and action!!! Thanks so much for sharing your advice. Greatly appreciated 1
Author BetheButterfly Posted September 6, 2012 Author Posted September 6, 2012 My mother and father married on the 3rd September, 1953. She was just short of her 21st birthday, he was 32. They met when my mother was 17. She couldn't speak a word of English, and his Italian was completely hopeless. They communicated in French. My father asked her to marry him the same year they met, but they had to wait until her 21st year to do it.... My father died in October 2010, aged 89. They had been married 57 years. My father was the first - and only - man my mother had ever loved. May you too, be blessed with a long, happy, eventful and successful marriage. Thanks TaraMaiden for sharing about your parents!!! Wow!!! They were a lovely and precious couple!!! That is so beautiful how your Father was the first and only man your Mom loved. That is so amazing! 57 years!!! Your Father sounds like he really loved your Mom and waited so patiently to marry her. They took the commitment for what it is, a commitment. That really encourages me! Thank you so much
Author BetheButterfly Posted September 6, 2012 Author Posted September 6, 2012 Happy Anniversary!! Hope you had fun. Make sure that the two of you agree on important issues. My husband and I are blessed that we both feel the same way about opting out of parenthood and staying in the city rather than moving to the suburbs. We did thanks! Yes that is a blessing. It would be hard if one wanted to be a parent and the other didn't. My hubby and I both want to be parents someday, though I also want to adopt because there are so many kids who need a loving home. He is neutral about it as of now, but he does want to adopt a kitten. My hubby and I do have differences concerning the city verses the country, which is interesting you wrote that. I love the country whereas he loves the city. I despise traffic whereas he is fine with it. I'd rather hear birds, crickets, cows, dogs, and horses rather than lots of people and horns honking, whereas he is the opposite. But, we are learning to compromise! Our second anniversary is next month.CONGRATULATIONS!!! I am very happy that we had some major crises during our engagement and first year; my therapist said our marriage is unusually solid for the short time we have been husband and wife. We learned very early on how to effectively resolve conflict and draw closer when life is hard. I love how hard times have only strengthened us as a couple and as individuals. There have been times where I have become exasperated and angered by our challlenges, but we managed to get through them, emerging triumphant and more in love than ever. That is awesome! Yeah, emerging triumphant and in love - that is beautiful!!! In our first year of marriage, I was hit by a car and my parents did not speak to us for a year because we eloped. While we were engaged, My husband lost his job the week after he proposed and could not find another for a whole year. We went into this marriage with adjusted and more mature expectations when the recession hit us harder than any other couple in our social circle or family.I am sorry. Y'all had a very tough year due to circumstances. It says a lot about the strength you both have in being able to survive that together. Most people think we are still on our honeymoon and therefore in the "easy" stage of our marriage, but we know better. Our struggles taught us that marriage in not always romantic and enjoyable.True. Marriage is work. It's like a team... teams in sports work hard together to win... Thanks for sharing and may you and your husband be greatly blessed!!!
Author BetheButterfly Posted September 6, 2012 Author Posted September 6, 2012 Congratulations! Marriage is a wonderful thing when you've made a good choice and are committed to doing what it takes to make it work. I've been married to the same man for many years and still very happily married. We've had our rough times in the past, but have always weathered the storms and whatever adversity life has thrown our way. The secret to a long lasting marriage is remaining affectionate to your spouse with plenty of physical displays of affection. Forgiveness for the times he/she says something he shouldn't or doesn't do something he should have. Remaining emotionally connected through spending quality time together and talking about things together. Investing time in the relationship and making the marriage a priority. Having kids will be a test of your love for each other, so do not allow them to take priority over your marriage. They need your marriage to be strong, and they will benefit from seeing that you give it a priority. Congratulations Kathy!!! That is awesome! Thanks so much for the wonderful advice! Yes it is so true how seeing a strong marriage helps kids. It helped me when I was a kid and still does today, seeing that my Mom and Dad love each other and are committed to caring for each other. I remember when my parents were going through a very hard time due to my Dad's bipolar disorder. My Mom said that if he didn't get professional help, she would have to leave. However, my Dad loves her so much he decided to get medical help even though at that time he didn't think he needed it. That was around 8 years ago and they are doing great today!!! He also gave up pornography decades earlier when he saw how much it hurt my Mom, how he didn't want his 4 daughters doing that, and also how it's not sexually pure - pleasing to God. My Mom has grown in many areas too and their love and commitment encourages me and my sisters in our relationships (my youngest sister just got engaged!!!)
Author BetheButterfly Posted September 6, 2012 Author Posted September 6, 2012 Many 'grats on your first anniversary! Isn't it lovely to share the intimacy of being together? Thanks Threebyfate! Yes it sure is!!! We're headed for our third anniversary next month and any time soon, the birth of our second boy. Yeah, do the math, we got pregnant while engaged, for our first! CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR ANNIVERSARY AND BABY!!! Yay!!! That's awesome! Not that we've got a lot of years to talk about but if you consider how quickly our lives have changed in less than 4 years, it could have been hellish with the wrong person. As it stands, it's been the best years of my life! So true. I do think marriage can be hell if it's with the wrong person for one! I agree... this year has been the best year of my life!!! My advice to you is to relax, enjoy and try not to sweat the small stuff. Maintain intimacy as much as possible, woo him like a virgin, seduce him and woman-handle him against the wall. He'll beg for more and return the favour tenfold, keeping the chemistry alive even through stressed times like having children! Thanks for the awesome advice!!! I love seducing him... he's so much fun to seduce He just called me from work and just the sound of his voice makes me want to "woman-handle him against the wall" lol! 1
quankanne Posted September 6, 2012 Posted September 6, 2012 And show your love! just not in a way that'll get you arrested, okay? :laugh: 1
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