bluegreen Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 That sentence was so funny to me when I first heard it but since I have some extra free time these days am curios about this thing : You sweet pea honey pot comes to visit and stay : ))) are you expecting them to do their share of house chores or not and treat them like a king-queen while they are there? Will you expect them to pay for food or some bills or not at all Are they the type who willingly will offer to do chores or princess -princes who expect to be waited on hand and foot and how would you handle it if they where ? 1
meeji Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 I'm going to visit my bf in a month and I plan on cooking his dinners while he is at work. I don't plan on being his maid and rearranging his room or any of that stuff. He has 2 other housemates and they have completely different diets. He's newly Vegan and so is my best friend of 8 years. There are a lot of dishes that I know he would love but 1: He doesn't cook often and 2: I think it will make him happy knowing that I support his choice in diet. When he comes to see me, I'll probably cook lots of things for him again but no, I don't expect him to do anything other than spend time with me. 1
Author bluegreen Posted September 3, 2012 Author Posted September 3, 2012 I see OK your bf seems one lucky guy
january2011 Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Some interesting points that have rarely been raised in this forum, if memory serves. If he visited me, we'd probably do the cooking together. I'd take most of the responsibility for the chores though, since it's my space. As for paying for things, I wouldn't expect it, but he'd offer anyway. Every time I've visited him, he has had no expectations about bills, food, cooking or chores. Our main priority has been to spend time together, everything else is pretty much irrelevant. However, since my visits tend to be quite long, I've paid some bills, for food and done some chores, including cooking. Nearly everything has been shared between the two of us: we worked together as a team to get things done so that we could have as much leisure time as possible. 2
Author bluegreen Posted September 3, 2012 Author Posted September 3, 2012 Yes I agree this is something we all wondered and thought about so why not ask or chat about it rather then face problems later right ?
meeji Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 I think with this kind of thing, it varies from couple to couple. Some people enjoy doing everything and pampering there SO. They see it as a sign of affection. You also have to take into consideration cultural backgrounds. If the culture portratys women as "servant," so something, she might be more willing to do these things. If both people aren't feeling used then I guess either way is okay. It just boils down to personal preference.
TaraMaiden Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!!! (Sorry, private joke.... )
Radu Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 (edited) I think it depends a lot on time spent visiting. If he/she visits for a month, i would consider it rude to not help around the house. Hell, even for 5d i would consider it a bit rude [we are not talking about vacuuming]. 2-3d, just guest, let her/him enjoy the time spent together. I would certainly be ... put off by her if she had the 'i'm not your maid/servant' attitude during a longer stay. And i would expect the same standard to be applied to me when visiting her. Edited September 3, 2012 by Radu
HeavenOrHell Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 We enjoy cooking together, so it's not a chore, we share the washing up, I'll sometimes do more of the chores when I'm at his if he's at work, we both just do what needs doing really, neither of us expect to be waited on, no more than I would in a conventional r/ship. I wouldn't be with someone who expected to be waited on, I'm only interested in r/ships where things are equal. Having said that, he insists on paying for meals out, or takeaways, and buys the food when he's here, as he's better off than me, but it's not something I expect at all, but it's something I really appreciate, and he knows I do. That sentence was so funny to me when I first heard it but since I have some extra free time these days am curios about this thing : You sweet pea honey pot comes to visit and stay : ))) are you expecting them to do their share of house chores or not and treat them like a king-queen while they are there? Will you expect them to pay for food or some bills or not at all Are they the type who willingly will offer to do chores or princess -princes who expect to be waited on hand and foot and how would you handle it if they where ?
HeavenOrHell Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Me and my partner are vegan, we really enjoy cooking together I'm going to visit my bf in a month and I plan on cooking his dinners while he is at work. I don't plan on being his maid and rearranging his room or any of that stuff. He has 2 other housemates and they have completely different diets. He's newly Vegan and so is my best friend of 8 years. There are a lot of dishes that I know he would love but 1: He doesn't cook often and 2: I think it will make him happy knowing that I support his choice in diet. When he comes to see me, I'll probably cook lots of things for him again but no, I don't expect him to do anything other than spend time with me. 1
Els Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Honestly, that was not something that I thought about at all during my LDR days. Division of chores and such is important when you are living together for extended periods of times, but during the LDR phase they were but a blip in our existence. It was just so rare to be able to get time together that when there were visits, all that mattered to me was that he was here. The laundry could just go undone for two weeks for all I cared. I think that as long as both parties are generally considerate, it should be a non-issue. This sort of thing really only needs significant thought and discussion when actually living together. 2
meeji Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Me and my partner are vegan, we really enjoy cooking together That is awesome. I'm kind of person who feels more like people are in my way when I'm cooking in the kitchen. I really would prefe to do it all on my own. Honestly, I don't think he will mind and besides that will work out better because he'll be at work and dinner will be ready when he comes home. He can help me with the dishes:) Are there any recipese you recommend?
Author bluegreen Posted September 4, 2012 Author Posted September 4, 2012 Lots of very good interesting points and posts I like most those who said they do their stuff equally ...
justwhoiam Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 I guess I automatically turn into a geisha. But if it's not appreciated, I think I start minding my own business. I like to be giving, but if he's not, that will have a bad impact on me. 1
Author bluegreen Posted September 8, 2012 Author Posted September 8, 2012 Am regular little worry wart : )) and if I got nothing to worry about them am worried about having nothing to worry about and what will happen next or what does that mean ...
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