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Posted (edited)

I have already accepted that there's nothing I can do. I was becoming friends with this girl, but now I see it's not going to work, which sucks because she seemed like a nice and smart person with a good head on her shoulders.

 

There aren't many people I dislike, but the people she talks to the most just happen to be the people I don't like. People who do things like assume the worst about you, give unsolicited advice, hit on other women's boyfriends. She has become very close friends with the woman who used to bully me.

 

She either doesn't see any of those bad qualities in others or doesn't care. And the more she hangs around them, the more she starts to talk down to me. I've also noticed that she likes to point fingers at people and talk about them like they are incompetent. When I try and stand up for those people she just glares at me and argues with me like I am stupid. It actually shocked me that she did that. I mean when someone makes a mistake you need to give them the benefit of the doubt, you can't just criticize them without even talking to them to hear their side of it. But that's what she does.

 

She has made negative comments about the people I get along with. So now I need to stop talking to her so much. I guess this is just me ranting because it sucks. I just don't understand why somebody would gravitate towards that sort of negativity.

 

I also heard her say something that worried me. She made a comment about someone who obviously likes her that "he only talks to me because he has no one else to talk to." But that's not true. In fact, that's exactly the sort of thing my ex-bully used to try and make me believe; word for word, she told me one time "he only talks to you because he has nobody else to talk to." I'm wondering if my ex-bully said the same thing to this girl and she just believed it and is now repeating it. I don't know. There's nothing that I can really do since it's not my business and I don't want to get all wrapped up in drama, but I'm worried.

Edited by SpiralOut
Posted
I have already accepted that there's nothing I can do. I was becoming friends with this girl, but now I see it's not going to work, which sucks because she seemed like a nice and smart person with a good head on her shoulders.

 

There aren't many people I dislike, but the people she talks to the most just happen to be the people I don't like. People who do things like assume the worst about you, give unsolicited advice, hit on other women's boyfriends. She has become very close friends with the woman who used to bully me.

 

She either doesn't see any of those bad qualities in others or doesn't care. And the more she hangs around them, the more she starts to talk down to me. I've also noticed that she likes to point fingers at people and talk about them like they are incompetent. When I try and stand up for those people she just glares at me and argues with me like I am stupid. It actually shocked me that she did that. I mean when someone makes a mistake you need to give them the benefit of the doubt, you can't just criticize them without even talking to them to hear their side of it. But that's what she does.

 

She has made negative comments about the people I get along with. So now I need to stop talking to her so much. I guess this is just me ranting because it sucks. I just don't understand why somebody would gravitate towards that sort of negativity.

 

I also heard her say something that worried me. She made a comment about someone who obviously likes her that "he only talks to me because he has no one else to talk to." But that's not true. In fact, that's exactly the sort of thing my ex-bully used to try and make me believe; word for word, she told me one time "he only talks to you because he has nobody else to talk to." I'm wondering if my ex-bully said the same thing to this girl and she just believed it and is now repeating it. I don't know. There's nothing that I can really do since it's not my business and I don't want to get all wrapped up in drama, but I'm worried.

 

 

 

It seemed in past tense so you dont think she is smart or has a good head anymore and at the end of your post you say your worried so are you wanting to continue a relationship with this woman? What are you concerned about? .......I recently made a firm decision.....i am determined to see it through concerning people who bully me with all grace i will try and help them .....but not at the expense of my own life anymore my ex had nowhere to stay so i offered that he could stay temporarily it has been too long and he is an ex for a reason......so i am helping him find a place to stay now....i have told him exactly what i dont want to be spoken to or treated like and i fhe does then i will not help him that's positive reenforcement and i intend to enforce it one day i wont have to ......people will just get who i want to be and how i want to be treated and if they care about me they will treat me that way if they dont i dont need them...that mean respecting my friends my beliefs and my family....i am cleaning house at the moment i have let things go over my head for too long including atrocious behaviour(there is no medication for bad behaviour)....sounds like your lady friend might have a similar issue its easier to ignore bad behaviour than confront it....i am not hiding anymore from any behaviours i dont find make me comfortable ....be supportive of your friend she might need support it is easier for you to walk away i guess most of society would....leave it to someone else if you feel its too much......she will either fail or succeed without your help btu eventually she will have to make a stand..when i did the outcome was positive sucks to have to be dominant though but sometimes some women dont have a choice..so are you worried because you do want a relationship or are you worried to walk away......deb

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Posted (edited)
..so are you worried because you do want a relationship or are you worried to walk away......deb

 

I guess I'm worried to walk away. At the same time I'm worried to stay, because talking to her isn't good for me anymore. She used to seem so much happier and now I see her becoming very angry and judgemental. I've heard her say some things about other people that crosses a line. She gossips all the time, it's like she can't help herself. She is starting to put herself down and I suspect somebody is influencing her to do that. She is still a smart person but I don't think she's nice anymore. I guess I just thought she was better than that.

 

I'm also worried that she is slowly starting to turn on me. She has made comments to me that make it very clear she has spent some time analyzing me, leading me to believe she has probably gossiped about me. She takes two or three different facts about me from different times we have talked and then she puts them together and makes a judgement about me based on that. Actually it was a very obscure fact, from a long time ago, that I didn't even know she knew. She must have held onto that inside her head for a while. The weird thing is that her judgement isn't even true! I corrected her without even thinking, and she just went quiet. Afterwards, I realized, huh. She just judged me!! I've seen her do that with someone else, making a negative judgement about him because of the book he was reading. I ended up telling her oh, I think that is cool and interesting. I don't know who she thinks she is to be so disdainful of someone for what book he reads, I mean geez. She sees what's in front of her and thinks that is all there is to see.

 

I worry her new friend is telling her crap about me. I already know they have talked about me. She let it slip with a comment she said to me. I don't think she knows that I am smart enough to have caught her slip-up and understand what it means. I mean yeah, I know that it's not worth being friends with someone who makes me feel like crap. But it doesn't make me feel very good to know that someone I thought was a friend is turning into an enemy and there's nothing I can do.

Edited by SpiralOut
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