blue_jay_bird Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 I miss him so much. I feel like im trying to fill this hole that he left. Is, there any advise? I'v done, gym, meeting new people, getting in contact with friends, therapy. I still feel empty, sad, lost.
Author blue_jay_bird Posted September 3, 2012 Author Posted September 3, 2012 I mean aside from that stuff. alot of negative is happening: Iv started smoking pot, i lost my job, spending money i don't have. I mean iv gone through the motions of what to do to get better. But in the end it was back to The Hole. What eles can i do to feel better?
coltsfan1 Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Stop smoking pot, put forth some more effort in finding a job, learn to live within your means, and give it time. It took me well over a year to move past my BU & I still have moments. But you have to put a plan together and start it in motion. I can't speak for everyone but when I was doing drugs my mind was always cloudy..... How long have you been BU?
TaraMaiden Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 I miss him so much. I feel like im trying to fill this hole that he left. Is, there any advise? I'v done, gym, meeting new people, getting in contact with friends, therapy. I still feel empty, sad, lost. There's your problem, right there, in Bold: You're doing things to try to fill a hole, and it's not working, for 2 reasons: Firstly, you're only 'trying' but your efforts are half-hearted and you're not really putting your whole self into it, and - - secondly, you shouldn't be doing things to 'fill a hole' you should be doing things to fulfil you and take yourself forward. They should be an improvement, not a replacement. I mean aside from that stuff. alot of negative is happening: No, be honest with yourself, and own it: "Aside from that stuff, I'm also doing a lot of negative things and I'm self-sabotaging:" Iv started smoking pot, i lost my job, spending money i don't have. Well then stop it. It's not dignified and frankly, if you know it's not helping, don't put yourself in positions where you can actually sink yourself lower. That's just silly, isn't it? I mean iv gone through the motions of what to do to get better. But in the end it was back to The Hole. What eles can i do to feel better? 'Going through the motions' isn't doing anything, is it? 'Going through the motions' of preparing a dinner won't actually feed you...don't 'try'....'Do'. Don't 'go through the motions'....'Go'. It's not 'back to the hole'.... you haven't ever left it. What else can you do to feel better? Well first of all, come to terms with the fact that you deserve to feel better. Stop beating yourself up. The break up did that already, there's no need to keep hammering on your own lid, and keeping yourself bashed down. Quit smoking pot, and get a grip. Anmd I'm sorry, but whingeing does nothing unless you use it as a tool to motivate yourself to get up and brush yourself off and keep going. That's what you have to do. Keep going. And quit self-sabotaging.
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