BlaBlaBlaBla Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 With stuff like retroactive jealousy? Mine is pretty bad. Yet I'm skeptical when it comes to counselors. I don't see them as miracle workers, I also feel I have a fairly good idea myself about what is going on, what is causing my thoughts. What can a counselor do, what kind of an advice can he offer that I can't figure out myself or find online? On the other hand, when I look at myself, it's bad...yet counseling is the only thing I haven't tried yet. P.S. Why can't you use word help in the title? One way or the other, it's what everyone wants, it comes down to it anyway, we just have to word it differently.
joystickd Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 I am not a believer in counselors. I tried it after a horrible experience with a woman and it seemed to make me more angry. I guess because I was forced to think about what had happened. I finally on my own got a handle on the issues.
HokeyReligions Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 Nothing will work if you are not open to it. Counseling can help many people, but like anything, you have to find the counselor that is right for you. Sometimes the search may be more damaging than no counseling at all. You have to know when its right. They may tell you what you already know and sometimes its simply hearing it from someone else that will make you feel better; or give you the confidence you need to proceed and move forward in your life. I've been a pet grief counselor and I've been to several counselors (for grief and for my marriage) Some have helped me simply by providing me a neutral place - something with no attachment or memory - where they would listen, ask me a few questions and generally let me allow myself to calm the chaos in my mind so I could make choices. No counselor can take away pain, or change the past, or really even influence the future - they can help you see more clearly and give you a shoulder to cry on if you need. Some can provide information for other types of support, like social services or shelters if necessary so their help is tangible. It depends on what you need. If you don't know - than a counselor may help you figure out what you need and what you want - it may be that simple.
soccerrprp Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 I was skeptical of counseling after my wife passed away, but it did help some. I am certain that I could have done w/o, but sometimes it helps to just sit and talk to someone who is likely to have a perspective that you may not have ever considered. It was helpful, but didn't rely on it alone. Again, as HokeyR says, you have to be open to it, otherwise you are simply resisting and doing yourself no good to the possibilities.
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