Author Dblock10 Posted September 21, 2012 Author Posted September 21, 2012 back up, you could be right. and the boredom and low moments sounds about right to if you look at facts, gosh was it really that obvious? so she must view me as stability and always there for her? you know what though, i don't get why she would do that considering she has left and for what could still for at least another 10 months keeping me as a back up seems a bit odd. either way i feel different this time. before first time she left i had this feeling of hope in the sense that i knew she would come back and i had hoped something would start again, clearly that hasn't happened, this is how it turned out. ive not heard from her now for 6 weeks since i decided to not reply to her asking where my job was going. i went nc to heal better. its hard not talking to her, but it also gives me some form of hope when i do, or makes me a bit bitter that i cant be with her now. i guess i feel disappointed more than anything and sad because i know in the future i may not get to see her or be with her, mainly because ive got grand plans of my own with a best mate. so in a way im very excited about that but also feel a bit unsure of the future, guess thats normal. but i agree, i am hurting myself by having not let go and trying to hang on, i can see now more clearly how this is wrong.
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