jcrew11 Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 I think both men and women are attracted to supremely "Self Confident" people. Now someone can be "Self Confident in his/her abilities, personality, talents, wealth, place in this world and society" and not be annoying or loud. Some men and women have "quiet and strong self-confidence" like our homemaker mothers. Some men have "smart and intelligent self-confidence" that is attracted to women. There is also "social confidence" in how to lead groups and manage people.
newmoon Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 i am a very dominant/independant female, and the only reason i am with my current bf is because he will not take any nonsense from me. it doesn't mean he is dominating me or vice-versa, it just means that he is confident too and doesn't back down from a challenge or disagreement, and every bf before him did (they would all let me win because my personality was stronger). my current bf knows how to stand his ground without disrespecting me or my intelligence and that is what a strong woman wants, and often needs. a man who will challenge her without actually dominating her. that kind of man shows he believes in and respects himself, which is highly attractive. imo, a strong woman/weak man will never work because a strong woman needs a partner she can respect and so many men are actually not that strong and allow women to run all over them - so, when we find a guy that won't - Heaven! 3
Caius Ballad Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 I'm a pretty dominant female and I totally agree, I need a super dominant guy that can handle me and put me in my place. Hypergamy. More dominate a female is the more she wants an even more dominate guy The more rich she is the more she wants an even more wealthy guy The taller she is the taller he must be. That's the nature of females.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Hypergamy. More dominate a female is the more she wants an even more dominate guy Do you mean "dominant"? If you are going to continuously post about the inferiority of women, don't you think it would behoove you to use words in the correct way, and to pay attention to employing at least basic 6th grade grammar skills? You are being a very sorry spokesman for your gender here.
Necris Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Do you mean "dominant"? If you are going to continuously post about the inferiority of women, don't you think it would behoove you to use words in the correct way, and to pay attention to employing at least basic 6th grade grammar skills? You are being a very sorry spokesman for your gender here. No need to get defensive, grammer aside, what he says is true. Women want a dominant guy, a more dominant woman wants an even more dominant guy. I heard this straight from mouths of women themselves and it makes sense. The only reason a woman would want a submissive guy is so she can walk all over him, submissiveness isn't a quality that is attractive to women.
Ruby Slippers Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 i am a very dominant/independant female, and the only reason i am with my current bf is because he will not take any nonsense from me. it doesn't mean he is dominating me or vice-versa, it just means that he is confident too and doesn't back down from a challenge or disagreement, and every bf before him did (they would all let me win because my personality was stronger). my current bf knows how to stand his ground without disrespecting me or my intelligence and that is what a strong woman wants, and often needs. a man who will challenge her without actually dominating her. that kind of man shows he believes in and respects himself, which is highly attractive. imo, a strong woman/weak man will never work because a strong woman needs a partner she can respect and so many men are actually not that strong and allow women to run all over them - so, when we find a guy that won't - Heaven! This is all so true.
ThaWholigan Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 I think people need to have some clarity when they talk about dominance. Because there will be a lot of men who will be somewhat passive - it's not weak, it just is. If they can find some strength in it, then they will have something that is equally as desired as dominance - Personal Authority. I think even a laid-back, passive man can be somewhat dominant. Like a quiet confidence. As long as he has personal authority within himself, he will be fine and attract women all the same, that respond to him perfectly. Not every man will be the uber-dominant man. 2
Woggle Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 After a while for me the challenges need to stop. I don't let anybody walk all over me but constant fighting is just exhausting. If a woman can't enjoy peace and tranquility with me she is not the one for me.
Ruby Slippers Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 After a while for me the challenges need to stop. I don't let anybody walk all over me but constant fighting is just exhausting. If a woman can't enjoy peace and tranquility with me she is not the one for me. It's not just about disagreements. I talk to my boyfriend about my goals related to running my business, for example - and in addition to acknowledging what I'm doing well, he challenges me in a positive way to keep doing better. Also, I agree with you that constant peace is the ideal. But life is hard, and sometimes we disagree. You need to know that when the moment demands it, your partner will square off with you and "fight" in a fair, respectful, productive way. 1
ThaWholigan Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 After a while for me the challenges need to stop. I don't let anybody walk all over me but constant fighting is just exhausting. If a woman can't enjoy peace and tranquility with me she is not the one for me. The "challenges" never stop. It's part of the cycle. It all really depends on how you navigate that cycle with your partner. How you mesh with each other's cycle, and simultaneously, the cycle of the relationship between the two of you itself. Sometimes it won't be fighting, at least not at first. But there will be the occasional spike in the frequency. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 I'm a pretty dominant female and I totally agree, I need a super dominant guy that can handle me and put me in my place. Why do you need a guy to "put you in your place"? Unless you are into some kind of dom/sub kind of relationship.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 ALL women want a dominant man. No matter what HER personality type. Its that leftover caveman wiring. Um … you don't know anything about women, relationships, or biology. You need to return to the PUA boards where this kind of ignorance is the norm. You are so far out of your depth conversing among people of average or above intelligence and cognitive reasoning abilities that it kind of makes me feel embarrassed on your behalf. Take your little clone Caius and scurry back to the RooshV forum. You'll both be much happier there.
Necris Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Um … you don't know anything about women, relationships, or biology. You need to return to the PUA boards where this kind of ignorance is the norm. You are so far out of your depth conversing among people of average or above intelligence and cognitive reasoning abilities that it kind of makes me feel embarrassed on your behalf. Take your little clone Caius and scurry back to the RooshV forum. You'll both be much happier there. Seriously Chaucer he is right I don't know about the cave men wiring thing, but really almost all women want a dominant man both submissive and dominant women I hear it from women all the time, honestly the only time a woman wants a submissive man is to stomp all over him, submissive guys or at least guys less dominant than their woman I see get walked all over all the time, its just the way people are.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 but really almost all women want a dominant man both submissive and dominant women I hear it from women all the time, You know what? You are right. Many women do want a man who is more dominant than they are. Many men want a woman who is more submissive. I have no argument with that. But you will see right here on LoveShack, if you pay attention to what you read, that there are plenty of women who really want to call the shots. There are men who are dying for women to take the lead, and there are MANY men who are browbeaten by their wives / girlfriends, and women who are miserable under the controlling tactics of their "dominant" husbands. I am talking about current, active threads right now where you can read about all these dynamics. I am probably more dominant than my husband, overall. I had a big life when we met, and he fit himself into it. He has many skills and qualities that I don't have, and I am full of admiration for that. He also provides a super groundling and reasoned place for me on an emotional level. I do NOT boss him around or "dominate" him in any way, and he does not to me. We balance each other out in a very complimentary way. I am a pretty powerful individual, and when I was younger, I did crave the idea that a man I was with was even more powerful than I was. But … it lead to power struggles. Nothing good or healthy. Bottom line was that I was not going to "submit" to a more powerful entity - I was just going to fight about it, and it worked both ways. I really think that people who are at a fairly high level of consciousness where relationship matters are concerned - those with developed emotional intelligence (none of which will be found on PUA stomping grounds, or reading "The Rules" as a relationship guide) realize that what really counts is harmony and balance and that comes down to some pretty minute criteria. Not even related to "me caveman, you cave lady." Truly - even if the majority of women want a man who dominates them (I don't believe this is true, but if it is), there is just no point in using a statement like "deep down ALL females" bla bla bla" to launch a valuable discussion. Especially when that statement is typed by a regular who never fails to type identical statements time and time again, and to ignore any discussion that does not align with the statement. 1
AD1980 Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 What is the allure of a "dominant" man or partner? what grown ass adult wants to be led aorund It screams daddy issues to me if a owmen insists on a man leading her around like a child,i want a partner not a kid i have to lead 1
Badsingularity Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 You know what? You are right. Many women do want a man who is more dominant than they are. Many men want a woman who is more submissive. I have no argument with that. But you will see right here on LoveShack, if you pay attention to what you read, that there are plenty of women who really want to call the shots. There are men who are dying for women to take the lead, and there are MANY men who are browbeaten by their wives / girlfriends, and women who are miserable under the controlling tactics of their "dominant" husbands. I am talking about current, active threads right now where you can read about all these dynamics. I am probably more dominant than my husband, overall. I had a big life when we met, and he fit himself into it. He has many skills and qualities that I don't have, and I am full of admiration for that. He also provides a super groundling and reasoned place for me on an emotional level. I do NOT boss him around or "dominate" him in any way, and he does not to me. We balance each other out in a very complimentary way. I am a pretty powerful individual, and when I was younger, I did crave the idea that a man I was with was even more powerful than I was. But … it lead to power struggles. Nothing good or healthy. Bottom line was that I was not going to "submit" to a more powerful entity - I was just going to fight about it, and it worked both ways. I really think that people who are at a fairly high level of consciousness where relationship matters are concerned - those with developed emotional intelligence (none of which will be found on PUA stomping grounds, or reading "The Rules" as a relationship guide) realize that what really counts is harmony and balance and that comes down to some pretty minute criteria. Not even related to "me caveman, you cave lady." Truly - even if the majority of women want a man who dominates them (I don't believe this is true, but if it is), there is just no point in using a statement like "deep down ALL females" bla bla bla" to launch a valuable discussion. Especially when that statement is typed by a regular who never fails to type identical statements time and time again, and to ignore any discussion that does not align with the statement. I think many times when women hear "dominant" they hear "controlling". I don't think everyone who posts about women wanting dominant men means that. What, some of them atleast mean, is that many women want a, confident ,assertive, protective, loving man. Also many many women say that they want to have control and power in the relationship, but when they get it they are confused about why they are no longer attracted to their man and they are not happy.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 I think that most adult women are pretty in touch with what they want, so it's not so "deep down" as some of you seem to think. Also, that we learn as we mature that sometimes our wants and needs change, or they are not what we thought they were.
A O Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 WHile the exchange was awkward and i awkwardly laughed it off i think a lot of strong dominant women try to convince themselves they are not compatible with or cant deal with strong hard headed type A men but deep down most of them yearn to be taken care of and lead and feele feminine and vulnerable I believe this to be true but whether they want this to be the status quo I'm not too sure. Its nice to let go of the reigns every now and then. Its nice to let one's guard down occasionally - allows time to recharge the batteries. But most leaders will still prefer to lead more often than not I'd say.
AlexDP Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Um … you don't know anything about women, relationships, or biology. You need to return to the PUA boards where this kind of ignorance is the norm. You are so far out of your depth conversing among people of average or above intelligence and cognitive reasoning abilities that it kind of makes me feel embarrassed on your behalf. Take your little clone Caius and scurry back to the RooshV forum. You'll both be much happier there. I am starting to be less than impressed with you, Mme. Chaucer.
Mme. Chaucer Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 I am starting to be less than impressed with you, Mme. Chaucer. That's okay! I am not participating in these discussions to impress. Obviously. I've once again reached my saturation point where I can no longer be even a little polite when faced with all of the ridiculous, ignorant, and random assertions made by certain men about what women are like, what women want, what women prefer, etc. And usually, when a woman speaks up about the wrongness of the assertion, they will call her a "liar" and / or an entity that is incapable of knowing what "it" thinks or feels, much less of expressing it. There are actually women here who can tell you EXACTLY what we like, if you were at all interested. Evidently you prefer mythology or grossly oversimplified and misstated "science" gleaned from dubious sources. 1
Badsingularity Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 That's okay! I am not participating in these discussions to impress. Obviously. I've once again reached my saturation point where I can no longer be even a little polite when faced with all of the ridiculous, ignorant, and random assertions made by certain men about what women are like, what women want, what women prefer, etc. And usually, when a woman speaks up about the wrongness of the assertion, they will call her a "liar" and / or an entity that is incapable of knowing what "it" thinks or feels, much less of expressing it. There are actually women here who can tell you EXACTLY what we like, if you were at all interested. Evidently you prefer mythology or grossly oversimplified and misstated "science" gleaned from dubious sources. There are posts sometimes that are just so ridiculous that I can't help but at them. Just too ridiculous to take seriously. Some of them are just from young frustrated guys that have a lot to learn. Others are just bitter and angry. I don't blame you for being annoyed or upset with them. Oh and ALL women like huge muscled super dominant controlling men only. 1
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