steelgator Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 So my ex knows I still have feelings for her. I was the original dumper she cried and begged for me and i tried to get her back before we seperated for summer break. She didn't want a label and she was still hurt and said she needed time. Then after another argument said were better as friends but she still needs time. Well fast forward 3 months and shes staring at me at a party i was at and passses me and says hey. I get uncomfortable and leave. 3 days later i text her and she texts back hour late and replies with one word answers. I asked her to hangout and she ignored it. I told her if she doesn't want to work things out just tell me. She just said she doesn't want any drama. I said don't friends talk to eachother? she said when they see eachother. She then said she doesn't want more than friends and she moved on and I need to start talking to other girls. She then said since I begged her again that she can be my freind but not now. The night after that she shows up late to a party that she once again knew i would be at and passes me and says hey...i don't respond. I texted her and told her to respect my space and she goes I thought we were fine? Day after that comes to my fraternity tailgate and stalks me until im by myself in a room and comes up and asks me if i hate her. I told her i don't know and that I can be civil with her and i won't yell at her but I'm not going to be having any conversations. She says well okay it's your turf just let me know when you're ready.
Stanza Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 Is it worth having a massive, open conversation together? doesn't really sound like the door is closed on either side but neither also as to if anyone wants it fully open.
geegirl Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 She said she doesn't want to be more than friends, that she's moved on and wants you to meet other girls. She just feels bad and possibly guilt that she's moving on and hurting you. It's her need to alleviate being the bad guy. She can move based on certain terms but it looks like you can't and she sees that. If anyone is torturing you, it's you. Enforce NC. Keep away from places she visits and if you know she'll be there stay away. Before you say, "but why should I stay away from...", it's because keeping away from her is about healing and not about proving points and making statements. Friends will never work when you are emotional. It's just a cowards way of keeping a foot in because they're afraid to let go.
Author steelgator Posted September 2, 2012 Author Posted September 2, 2012 The problem is she shows up at all my fraternity parties because she is friends with all of them...she was before she even met me. If i stay away from those parties and hangouts then Im missing out on hanging out with friends and also opportunities to meet other girls there.
geegirl Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 The problem is she shows up at all my fraternity parties because she is friends with all of them...she was before she even met me. If i stay away from those parties and hangouts then Im missing out on hanging out with friends and also opportunities to meet other girls there. You have to decide what's important to you. Fraternity parties or your emotional sanity? There are other ways to hang out with your friends and to meet girls, at least for now. You can forego parties for awhile until you're emotionally stronger or you can keep putting yourself in situations you're just not able to completely handle.
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