Went to same party as my ex last night - she said some wierd stuff to me

[Matt145]

So i went to the party where she was at too, it was a mutual friends party so i was not letting her stop me from going. I looked great probably the best ive looked in a LONG time ive been working out a lot and you could clearly tell every girl/guy was complimenting me, i had to sit upstairs where she was sitting aswell because there was nowhere to sit downstairs. I didnt look at her for the first 2 hours i didnt even find myself to want to look at her. But a few bottles of beer later i looked over and she was talking to some guy i got extremly jelous but i shrugged it off. Then later on in the night i turned around and bumped into her she started talking to me and we talked as normal she was so happy to see me i could tell, she then started telling me i look gorgeous and all that. Later on in the night i dont know how i cant remember it properly but i ended up talking to her and having a laugh with her, then she was saying stuff like " we should be together " **** like that. Then i told her one of my ex's has been staring at me all night and she stormed off with a cob on:laugh:. Then i was talking to 2 girls and she was sitting right by me and the whole time she was just staring at me. I laughed and smiled all night and i didnt let her wreck anything somehow i even had a laugh with her for some of the night, she kept telling me she loved me and i did too. Then i went home she was texting me like " when i see you being this fun it makes me want to be with you i dumped you because you was boring " she then told me to text her today and i did, and shes been saying stuff to me like " you looked amazing last night you've changed a lot " stuff like that. My ex didnt even look that great at the party, there was nicer looking girls there so i guess it helped. The stuff she was saying to me was hinting as if she wanted to get back together but it could of been drunk talk i dont know. What you guys think where should i take this from here?

Edited September 2, 2012 by Matt145

[weallfalldown]

nice one....don't even bother entertaining getting back.......like you said there's other girls out there even better.........after she said you were boring/...honestly mate.....don't entertain it!!!........big slap on the wrist from me haha .....

 

rock on..

[Radu]

She dumped you for being boring.

 

Do you really need someone with a short attention span ?

She is considering wanting you back because other, prettier girls, were interested in you.

Thus, your value has increased to her.

 

I hope you are smarter than this, and don't fall for it.

 

I don't believe you did not act the way you did at the party without wanting to at least cause some jealousy in her.

But damn good job.

[Matt145]

Yeah true, i guess i was boring though i didnt ever want to do anything sometimes and you know what girls are like they always want to be entertained and taken to places and to have a fun partner. I was the opposite, i went to the party and at first i wanted to make her jelous. But as soon as i got drunk i didnt give a **** she didnt even cross my mind at times.

[Coyoteloco]

hey man, something like that happened to me, and things were going pretty good for a second chance, but one day shes all over me, the other she seems so distant :/ and when i ask her if she wants to get back together she says no. Maybe i went too fast but well **** happens.

[barese1]

Mate you achieved the best possible thing. You looked good and she noticed but.....

 

Don't try and start a relationship or anything back up. Leave her with the image of you being this super chatty good looking guy and carry on moving on. She broke up with you for being boring?!? Well screw her then

[Matt145]

Ive been speaking to her all day, shes been pretty much just flirting with me im really confused:( i know you guys think i should **** her off alltogether, but i want to see what shes got to bring and what shes got to say to me.

[jgregory4614]

Just like the other guys said, she notices you look and feel better. Hotter girls gave you attention and she seen that. Now she wants a peice of what the other want to make her feel pretty. Sounds confussing but true. She wants to see if she can still have you. I think once she feels she can get you she'll most likely dump you. Dont give into her mind games. She might sound genuine right now but your in for a another story bud. If she really liked you she would have never broke up with you to begin with.

[Dblock10]

Ive been speaking to her all day, shes been pretty much just flirting with me im really confused:( i know you guys think i should **** her off alltogether, but i want to see what shes got to bring and what shes got to say to me.

 

dont go back there mate... its true she wants to still see if she can have you. if i were you, id just use her for sex then leave her for a hotter girl.

[Mike_d]

sounds like she wants what she can't have. if you want the interaction then you need to engage her mind, let her feel that you are just out of reach, don't be a puss, and keep her on her toes, don't be at her beck and call. ping Breck for some advice, some pua mentality would go a long way for you right now

[Matt145]

sounds like she wants what she can't have. if you want the interaction then you need to engage her mind, let her feel that you are just out of reach, don't be a puss, and keep her on her toes, don't be at her beck and call. ping Breck for some advice, some pua mentality would go a long way for you right now

 

Ive just talked to her as normal today, we have been texting all day. Its the only time ive ever talked to her in weeks where she hasnt mentioned being friends or i havent asked for a relationship. Theres a bit of flirting coming her aswell so ill just stay LC for now. And ill just not mention anything to do with a relationship, and ill just see how it goes from here. If she wants me back shes going to have to put the effort in not me.

[Chi townD]

Wow, she broke up with you because you were boring...really?!?! And she didn't mention this to you while you were dating? She didn't mention that she wasn't happy because you two don't do anything together and we need to work on that? Nah...she just dumped you.....

 

You just have to continue to make improvements on yourself. She's seeing it. If she does brouche the subject of getting back together one day. You just have to tell her, "Look, I'm not the same guy you dated. When you dumped me, I made some massive adjustments to my life so I could build a new life without you in it. I'm not the same Matt and I don't know if you would like the new me or not. And to be honest, your dumping me hurt a lot. I'm not looking to have that same kind of pain if you ever found me boring again."

[Chi townD]

WTF!?!?!?!

 

He doesn't owe her an explanation or an apology!

 

 

 

Translation = You should have dumped me.

 

 

 

Translation = I was pathetic before but I think I am not as pathetic now.

 

 

 

Translation = Like we addressed earlier, I was pathetic and if I was you I would have dumped me too even though you liked who I was originally. Let me highlight all and tell you about all the changes I made so you hopefully will want me again.

 

 

 

Translation = I am a b1tch. I will also hold you dumping me against you and make you suffer for it. Forget starting a fresh, brand new relationship with this "new" man I was just telling (lying) to you about.

 

 

 

Translation = Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I think that I don't deserve you, I believe I will let you down again and I am still not worthy of dating you.

______________________________________________________________________________

 

If it was me, I would say...

 

"What's in it for me?"

 

Then shut up, listen and go from there.

 

If you are like what you hear and are still interested... Be yourself, hold her accountable to what she said and you agreed upon.

 

If an EX who dumped you wants a second chance... It's not YOUR JOB to get them to want you. It's THEIR JOB to get you to want them.

 

 

clearly, you don't have a grasp at getting revenge by making positive changes in your life. But, keep being bitter if that's what rubs your buddha.

[Chi townD]

I think I presented a TACTFUL way of telling his Ex that he's a different person and not interested. She was the dumbass that dumped him and hurt him. This way shows that she doesn't control him. That he made changes in his life so he can have a life WITHOUT her (see, I reread it).

 

In my opinion. He can walk away with his head held high and with some dignity. Now, I ask you to reread what YOU wrote. What you suggest is that he basically tell her to f*ck off and present himself as a spiteful person with a grudge. In the end, it would just reaffirm her belief that dumping him was the right thing to do because he's a complete asshat.

[Matt145]

Hey gibson and chi town thanks for the advice off both of you but since i wrote this thread she has done a total 180 again. But yeah chi town she did sometimes say when we was together that our relationship was boring but i always tried to make it fun but it was never enough theres only so much you can do, near the end of our relationship it was really fun but the damage had been done i guess, she told me last night that ive changed so much and she loves the " new me " so i think she knows in her head now ive changed. And gibson im 17 now, thanks for all the pointers you gave me in that last post it really has helped me and made me realise.

 

The girl i am dealing with is obviously someone who is really really confused in what she wants though so theres nothing i can do, she friendzoned me again last night which i wasnt expecting. Despite all the stuff she said to me she told me she still does not want a relationship with me, or with anyone. I can understand shes 17 shes young and i should feel the same as her but i dont right now. So i told her that i got the impression that she wanted to be with me off the stuff she said and she got upset and cried and said no she doesnt want to be together and she hates telling me that she doesnt want a relationship with me because she wish she didnt have to. She also admitted one of the main reasons why she wanted to be friends was so if she ever did want a relationship she knew i was there, which is ****ing wrong and i told her that. But i just said to her im going back NC because im not ready to be friends yet and i told her the door is open in the future but i am not waiting for her. It didnt really hurt me her telling me she didnt want to be with me. Its probably because im nearly over her, another month of NC or maybe less and i think ill be fine:). But i just cant help but feel if i be friends with her theres a good chance i can get her back, i dont know why i feel like that and i am probably wrong but its just a feeling. Thanks again you two.

Edited September 3, 2012 by Matt145

[Matt145]

She texted me earlier asking me if i regretted ever getting with her and telling me that i wasnt boring and it was just her being horrible and nasty, she said i was a good boyfriend and i treated her good. She said also said she didnt deserve me and she felt like that when we was together she also said when she feels shes ready for a relationship she will never find someone more loving and caring than me. She said shes sorry for every horrible thing she has said to me since we split up and she didnt mean any of it. Quite happy she said all this tbh, i know that shes only said it because she thinks ive changed and jelousy also played a part in it.