aliceb1987 Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 Well i guess i just learnt a big lesson-drink will not solve your problems only highlight them! thought going out clubbing last night would make me feel better but ended up in a real state crying at the end of the night curled up in back of the taxi with my hands over my eyes and fingers in my ears...i just wanted to block out life...block out the pain. I spent the night watching my gorgeous best friend lapping up attention from blokes who were like bees round a honeypot which didnt help matters.Even tho i know im not ready for any male interaction i just want attention and crave the love my ex gave me so much though i know i couldnt be with anyone else yet.He hurt me so badly moving on with someone else couple of weeks afterwards and i just want to be able to move on too,but just when i think im getting better i feel like crap again and the hurt is only getting deeper even though people say its meant to get better as time goes on?! Dont think i have helped myself really as the split itself was amicable but when i found out about him and the girl i sent him a really nasty text message saying stuff like i should of got rid of him ages ago and that i always knew i was too good for him which i now regret as although its kinda true i didnt mean it.He didnt text back (knew he wouldnt just felt like saying my piece) and it probably helped him move on even more tbh. I know whats done is done but i just really hate myself at the moment,and it feels asif its getting worse.Although we both caused problems in the relationship,ultimately i blame myself for pushing him away and the loss of the only true love ive ever known is suffocating me...i feel so low
Joaquin Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 We've all drunk dialled. Don't beat yourself up too much. Try not to do it again. And we all have mates that get more attention than us on nights out. It's life. It's Sunday, go for a long walk, go buy nice food, tomorrow is another day
Mint Sauce Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 Hey Alice, Don't beat yourself up so much. You're probably dealing with this much better than he is. The pain of a BU has to be recognized, it needs to come out. If you were in anything long-term, him moving on so quickly is probably just going to delay his own mourning. So don't compare your own process with his, instead listen to what people here say. Don't worry about the texts you sent. Him moving on so quickly is not very respectful towards you (perhaps she was already on the scene?), being angry is good. And if he still has a place for you in his heart, he'll be able to see those texts for what they are: expressions of your hurt. As to the clubbing to get attention from the guys, yeah, that was probably a bit too soon.
Joaquin Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 Gd point ^^^^ Don't rely on nightclub strangers for an ego feed, especially when your feeling low. Bad move.
Author aliceb1987 Posted September 2, 2012 Author Posted September 2, 2012 Thanks so much for the support guys,i really appreciate it! I feel like im going on but need to vent this somewhere and feel guilty for keeping putting my friends thru it. You have given some very sound advice...certainly wont be drinking again in awhile.I guess i just want so much to feel wanted again,desperately so.Its like a catch 22 situation though,as i know i still dont want anyone but him and know i cannot commit to anyone and be loveable or love until i am over everything, but i feel like the only way i can move on is to be with someone else.I have never loved any of my other exes deeply enough to not be able to move on straight after so thats the only way i know of getting over people.
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