K4RM4 Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 I have been wondering about this ever since the beginning of our relationship - and weve been going out for 10 months. Whenever my girlfriend goes out with other people, shes out late. Last night, my girlfriend went out with her church friends and didnt get home until 3am. A couple days before that, she was out until 2:30 with generally the same people. I dont know a majority of the people shes going out with. I can look past the fact that she doesnt contact me hardly at all during this time; I can (barely) look past the fact that a lot of the guys she hangs out with are attractive and funny; I can trust her enough to not throw a tantrum everytime she goes out late. This doesnt bother me. What does bother me is that, whenever shes with me, she always seems to have to go home earlier. I know her parents arent making her come home; she does it by choice. Shes usually out of my house by 11:00 and in bed by 1 at the latest. Ive contemplated the idea that, maybe, she doesnt want to stay late with me for the fear of "late night happenings" aka sex and whatnot. However, shes a religious, no-sex-before marriage girl and Ive never ever pressured her to have sex so I dont know why she would think that. Ive also contemplated that, maybe, Im just not that fun to be around. If that were true, I doubt she would have stayed with me for so long then. I have never contemplated her cheating because she just wouldnt and theres no way she could keep a secret anyway. When she introduced me to some of her church friends I had some preconceived notions of responsible, well-mannered, and proper individuals. What shes doing is far from responsible and proper (I think), but theres no ring on her finger so shes free to do whatever she wants. Im just on the sidelines wondering whats up. So what IS up?
Radu Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 We've told you before, but you refuse to listen. She is a young girl. Young girls are very dependent on their peers. They only start to become somewhat independent of them at around 23-24 [we are talking averages here]. Before this age, their group of friends, their social circle has to sign off on who they are with. Right now, her 'friends' probably have more influence on her than her own parents in terms of who she is dating. She is very religious and you mentioned the camp thing in another thread. The reason she stays less with you, is because she is guarded against you. She has probably a number of fears : - to have sex before marriage - fear she will get demonized for being with you - fear that you will do stuff to her when she is asleep next to you Because of these, she is carefull how she is around you, to not cross that edge. On the other hand she views these guys as safe, nonagressive. So she lets herself unguarded against them. Now let's add a bit of teenage delusion to this, in the form of 'guys and girls can be platonic friends, even when they are straight', brought on by her religion. She is already walking all over you, so she steadily is losing all respect for you even before this happened. You want to know what will happen ? She will rationalize breaking up with you, she will hook up with a christian guy and you will be the devil she ran from. When it turns bad for her, and generally relationships between girls and orbiters turn bad [at the base core of their being orbiters are insecure], she will in fact come back to you.
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