Forever Learning Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 If she was looking to settle, she could have already done that. Exactly right!! Very good point. 1
Forever Learning Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 (edited) The more I read this here on the forum, the more I wish I'd actually done that. I might be less awkward around men, for one thing, and I would have at least had some fun. I'm one of the "good" girls who has had no luck finding a match. A good man won't only be concerned about my "semi-decent good looks". When thinking of looking for a person worthy of dating and spending time with (even for simple friendship purposes, for that matter) I like to bear in mind the characteristic of integrity. It's alot like honesty, but a bit more as well. Integrity generally means having a moral and ethical code (of one's own volition), and adhering to that code. It is the characteristic of honesty and truthfulness. The opposite of integrity is dishonesty and hypocrisy. If you find someone possessing honesty and integrity, you have found alot in that characteristic alone. Generally, in my view of life in this universe of ours, I find one must also have the characteristic one seeks. Therefore, developing integrity within oneself, is beneficial for also finding and recognizing others with true integrity. I say 'true integrity', because some folks have, a term I invented (GO ME!!!) that I like to call, 'false integrity'. Meaning, they PRETEND to have integrity, just to look like they are a 'good and decent' person, for the deceitful purpose of just getting laid. I've seen this trick in some slick folks. (Alot of politicians, judges, and other people in positions of power (school administrators, etc), and Narcissists in general, have 'false integrity'. They pretend to be good people to the general public, but they aren't good on the inside, it's all an act). Therefore, it takes time to get to know someone. 'Time' is extremely helpful in weeding out people who just want to get laid, but don't want a real, committed relationship. They won't stick around for very long, usually, if they can't get what they want easily (getting laid). Because, they don't place high value on it, so they won't work hard for it. There are always exceptions, however. Plus, 'time' creates an opportunity of better understanding a person, for them to reveal their true motivations in what they are seeking from you. Time is your friend in the 'getting to know you' process of dating (without making the mistake of getting physical too soon). Cheers friends! Edited September 2, 2012 by Forever Learning 3
Anela Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 When thinking of looking for a person worthy of dating and spending time with (even for simple friendship purposes, for that matter) I like to bear in mind the characteristic of integrity. It's alot like honesty, but a bit more as well. Integrity generally means having a moral and ethical code (of one's own volition), and adhering to that code. It is the characteristic of honesty and truthfulness. The opposite of integrity is dishonesty and hypocrisy. If you find someone possessing honesty and integrity, you have found alot in that characteristic alone. Generally, in my view of life in this universe of ours, I find one must also have the characteristic one seeks. Therefore, developing integrity within oneself, is beneficial for also finding and recognizing others with true integrity. I say 'true integrity', because some folks have, a term I invented (GO ME!!!) that I like to call, 'false integrity'. Meaning, they PRETEND to have integrity, just to look like they are a 'good and decent' person, for the deceitful purpose of just getting laid. I've seen this trick in some slick folks. (Alot of politicians, judges, and other people in positions of power (school administrators, etc), and Narcissists in general, have 'false integrity'. They pretend to be good people to the general public, but they aren't good on the inside, it's all an act). Therefore, it takes time to get to know someone. 'Time' is extremely helpful in weeding out people who just want to get laid, but don't want a real, committed relationship. They won't stick around for very long, usually, if they can't get what they want easily (getting laid). Because, they don't place high value on it, so they won't work hard for it. There are always exceptions, however. Plus, 'time' creates an opportunity of better understanding a person, for them to reveal their true motivations in what they are seeking from you. Time is your friend in the 'getting to know you' process of dating (without making the mistake of getting physical too soon). Cheers friends! I agree with you. That's why I'm still single and incredibly frustrated. ♥ 1
threebyfate Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 To break down why I felt the article to be unbelievable is that dating 100 guys in six months would be exhausting. From all I've read on LS, people exchange a number of messages, prior to deciding to meet. So, not only would she have had a number of back and forths with each of these men, she would have been dealing with rejecting others outright or after a few messages. Now, if she were unemployed at the time, it's possible to maintain. Add in the amount of energy required for social engagement to this level and most people would have curled up in an embryonic ball, crying about the lack of personal time. Hopefully, she had some domestic help during this period of time to allocate towards grocery shopping, housecleaning, errand running and personal hygiene. Also, something about her style of writing rang false. It read like a load of wishful thinking. 4
johan Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 Sometimes I think I write long posts. But now I know what a long post really is.. when you have break it into two, that's a long one. 5
SmileFace Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 Sometimes I think I write long posts. But now I know what a long post really is.. when you have break it into two, that's a long one. It was so long that I didn't realize it wasn't one long post. 3
threebyfate Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 gibson, that makes no sense at all. If her looks are going, how did she manage to date 100 men in six months? 2
Anela Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 (edited) Oh... There aren't any desperate men out there? No 40 year old short, bald men with beer guts? You do read the Dating forum right? Have you read all the threads / posts on how many of the guys on here that can't buy a date? Get little to no hits on through Online Dating or in real life? She has a vagina and a pulse... So there are plenty of men who would date / sleep with her. So, in other words, the guys have no class... I, too, have a vagina and a pulse. I guess I have it made, if I just want someone poking at me every so often. This is so depressing. Edited September 2, 2012 by Anela 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 hey gibson, do you want to go on a date? :love:
threebyfate Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 Oh... There aren't any desperate men out there? No 40 year old short, bald men with beer guts? You do read the Dating forum right? Have you read all the threads / posts on how many of the guys on here that can't buy a date? Get little to no hits on through Online Dating or in real life? She has a vagina and a pulse... So there are plenty of men who would date / sleep with her.Are you for real? 2
Forever Learning Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 This thread is getting mildly interesting. But what does 'spite on it' mean? Use Sprite as lube? I've heard they do that now and then in Mississippi. 2
Author FitChick Posted September 3, 2012 Author Posted September 3, 2012 Gibson, that is all well and good but what do you look like? 1
Forever Learning Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Typo... Should have been spit. Oh, I'm glad you elaborated. I'm a sucker for these hot new trends in lube. But all I have in the fridge is 7-Up, my next question was going to be if that would work in a pinch. But nevermind now. Gibson, that is all well and good but what do you look like? You seem like a brave and daring guy Gibson! A solid 8 or 9, you don't say! Me too! Come on, let's see you use your pic as your avatar. I double dog dare you! Eternal Sunshine deserves to have a glance at you, as do the ladies of this thread. I'll do it first, - put my pic in my avatar, just to put you at ease. I've always wanted to do that by the way, - this is finally my chance to do so! Here ya go! You never know, you might even get 100 dates in 6 months around here. What say you Gibson? OP Fit Chick wants to know what you look like. Pic in the avatar, let the world see your mug.
Forever Learning Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 (edited) With you being a HOT MESS and the straw that stirs the drink. I'm the type of man you want and need. I don't try and compete with you. I don't care that you want / need to be the center of attention. I don't "NEED" you. I need and require alone time and understand that you are the same. I have my own life, goals, passions, desires, etc. I won't try to tame, control or change you. I won't ask for permission and I don't want you asking for it either. I will give you the high highs and the low lows. I don't care if you are upset or I make you angry. Your craziness and mood swings will entertain and amuse me. I love girly girls. Have no problem saying no. I don't hold the crazy stuff you say or do against you. I will be and want a Partner In Crime. (I would help you bury the body and not ask any questions). I will throw you down on the kitchen table, pull your panties to the side, spite on it and @&$* you like a whore when I need it or you do. On my worst day, I can roll out of bed and do that without thought. We are just scratching the surface and I already beat most of the "boys" you have dated. Back to you and your question... If you figure out what you want, what love is, pull your head out of your a55, quit wasting your precious time on "nice" guys and a-holes, chill out about being with someone, have a sense of adventure, can laugh at yourself, know how to have fun and go along for the ride of your life... It's possible. What's in it for me? What do you bring to the table? All I hear from you is what you aren't getting. I have high expectations and I'm not sure you are capable of meeting them. Impress me... Tell me what life with you would be like. Aww shucks. With all this bravado, I thought for sure you'd have the juevos to put a pic of yourself up, at least for a day or so. Or even an hour or so. Or even a minute or so. Nano-second? p.s. I do like the 'laugh at yourself' part. I do that myself everyday, several times a day - hoot and howl at the absurdity that is me. It's all in good fun. Edited September 3, 2012 by Forever Learning
Forever Learning Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Well just to get the thread back on track and focused on the philosphy that perhaps there is merit in venturing into a series of brief 'get to know you' dates - I would say, that if the initial screening process is done beforehand for physical attraction via viewing a photograph or several photographs, and then some messaging has taken place to ascertain basic information and get a feel for the person, then the next logical step is a brief meet up, to get a feel for the nuances of a person/ body language, eye contact, etc, etc, that just can't be ascertained via telephone and messaging. As with anything, practice makes perfect, or at a minimum, practice brings improvement. This holds true in dating as well, and I would hold harmless anyone who entered into a brief 'meet up' casual date with good intentions of getting to know the other person, with the hopes of a real connection being found. That's what it's all about after all. 1
johan Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 I have a few friends on LS who I know well. They have seen pictures of me, met me in person and know what kind of guy I am. Maybe one of them will see these posts and chime in. Testimonial: gibson's pictures made me seriously think about turning gay. Thank God Ms. Europe came along, just in the nick of time. Who knows how far down that path I might have gone. 2
Forever Learning Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Well just to get the thread back on track and focused on the philosphy that perhaps there is merit in venturing into a series of brief 'get to know you' dates - I would say, that if the initial screening process is done beforehand for physical attraction via viewing a photograph or several photographs, and then some messaging has taken place to ascertain basic information and get a feel for the person, then the next logical step is a brief meet up, to get a feel for the nuances of a person/ body language, eye contact, etc, etc, that just can't be ascertained via telephone and messaging. As with anything, practice makes perfect, or at a minimum, practice brings improvement. This holds true in dating as well, and I would hold harmless anyone who entered into a brief 'meet up' casual date with good intentions of getting to know the other person, with the hopes of a real connection being found. That's what it's all about after all. Fit Chick, I want to thank you again for sharing this article. I don't want Gibson to derail your thread. Getting back on track with the discussion, I actaully really DO want to do exactly what the author of the article did - go on a series of brief meet ups, in order to improve my comfort level in meeting with men, and my communication and socialization skills. I do believe it is the 'way of the dating world' now. I also am very impressed, Fit Chick, with your extensive knowledge and input when it comes to dating (and all things, actually!). So I will continue to follow your threads and be interested in your continued input on these subjects. Cheers lady! 2
Forever Learning Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Just something to also consider because believe it or not, online dating isn't the only way. Oh, I most definitely agree with you on that, no doubt about it. You made a number of great suggestions regarding meeting people. Thank you for the very valid and insightful input. I do agree with you, and your ideas are motivating regarding not putting your eggs all in one basket in how you divide your time in getting social exposure and meeting potentials dates. I liked quite a bit of your advice Gibson. I just had to razz you about the typo and the lack of pic in avatar. Otherwise, awesome insight. And great story about the kitchen table, spit balls and panty ripping. Dig it! Not always and everytime, mind you, but nice in the mix once in a blue moon. You know what I mean, Romeo.
Eternal Sunshine Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 I can say that my comfort level in meeting these men has improved greatly. When I first started this, I was extremely nervous in meeting them, almost to the point of having a panic attack. Just about more than half never called for a second meet up/date. I am so relaxed now, out of the last 20 only 2 didn't call. I now worry about being TOO chilled :/ 1
Forever Learning Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 I can say that my comfort level in meeting these men has improved greatly. When I first started this, I was extremely nervous in meeting them, almost to the point of having a panic attack. Just about more than half never called for a second meet up/date. I am so relaxed now, out of the last 20 only 2 didn't call. I now worry about being TOO chilled :/ That is pretty cool, honestly! I'm proud of you. You are gaining so much experience and insight about life, men, and yourself. You go girl!!! 2
Forever Learning Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 (edited) With your personality, attitude, playfulness, looks, etc. if you get involved in some of the things I mention in my previous post, you will meet the following MAN: A man who is compassionate, thoughtful, forgiving and understanding. He will bring out the very best in you and always have your best interest at heart. His actions and the decisions he makes are made with consideration to how they would impact / affect you or the relationship. He will create a safe and loving environment where you have the ability, encouragement and support to pursue your passions, your hopes and your dreams. You and your relationship are under his careful protection. He will not withhold his love from you. Both of you are equals in your relationship. He is not afraid to say, no. He will not let you walk all over him. He will put you in your “place” in a loving way, when it is needed. He knows what he knows and knows what he doesn't know. He is comfortable in his “own skin”. He will not hold a grudge and keep no record of any wrongs. He will cultivate goodness and inward beauty in you. You are his companion. He will provide the romance needed in the relationship. He isn't afraid to say that he is wrong or sorry. He is humble. He knows that he isn't always right and that he does not have all the answers. He respects and values your feelings, opinions and beliefs. You are his best friend. He will never stop pursuing you. He will offer his true self. He will not dishonor you. He would not purposely disrespect you and certainty not in front of others. He will always believe in you. He wants to know you and who you are. He cares about how you feel. He will not belittle you or make you feel small. He does not give ultimatums. He does not want to control you. He will gladly make sacrifices for you and the relationship. He will be there for you in your times of need. You would go on your last first date, in NO TIME! The pleasure was all mine. Like I said, when I need it or you do. Very well written. All music to my ears!! I can't wait for my big dating adventures to begin!! I hope you are right!! You paint a great picture of my Prince Charming , I hope I find him, as I sort through (and maybe even kiss) the 100 or so frogs along the way. I'm so glad we made friends Gibson!! You're so hot. Can I call you Daddy for a while? You know, while I'm doing the frog/Prince search thing and all. Edited September 3, 2012 by Forever Learning 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 That is pretty cool, honestly! I'm proud of you. You are gaining so much experience and insight about life, men, and yourself. You go girl!!! I truly feel that at this point no man can play me. I can read situations so well, I am always 3 steps ahead. 2
Forever Learning Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 I truly feel that at this point no man can play me. I can read situations so well, I am always 3 steps ahead. You know, I believe that about you. And, that ROCKS. Big time. Great insurance against a broken heart from happening!!!
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