Boynextdoor Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 She says she cant get through me. She thinks im all but fun. But all I know is that I was donig fine. I give her extra extra attention, talk all day (everyday since day 1), She knows I like her accdg to her she wanted to see more? Its not that I dont know what to do but methods doesnt seem to get through her. It did in a way but came to a point that she was trying. She said "I like you a lot, but I wanted to see more. I wanted you to make me change my mind" For a time we were connecting then all of a sudden she created this thick wall that I cant get to penetrate. She stopped working it out. She stepped back and wanted me to work alone. Well, in my eyes it all started when her ex contacted her. As if like everything went back and she had this feeling of not being appreciated, her ego stepped on, her being disrespected. All I did was listen and let her vent out. I must admit there was a point that I got scared, cautious to not reveal everything due to old break up story. But little by little im doing it revealing my frustrations in life,interests,small stuff. She went all along from south to see me in the north. it was the first time that someone did that to me. Alas I know ive found a keeper. Now, She says she wanted more. How do I proceed? Introduce her to my parents? closest sister? so that she'll understand that my methods are really as it is. That she doesnt need any magical powers or to read thru the entire thing because really I do feel the same way. I want her.
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 You're being too much of a nice guy to her. You're doing everything she wants and needs, you're trying too hard. You know what she's used to? getting treated like dirt. You're the nice rebound guy that's trying to win her over by smothering the hell out of her and hoping she sees all that you have to offer. You're not winning the battle, that's not how relationships or romance is done, your infatuation with this girl is not enough to make her feel more emotional for you. You've got to respect yourself, you've got to demand things for yourself....stop this whole nice guy treatment and start acting like a real individual who doesn't just cherish her like gold without her even emotionally investing, you're not going to win her over like that. She gave you a chance because you're the guy she feel she's supposed to date maybe, someone who treated her like you do instead of her ex. But she's not feeling it, women need to feel that spark and intimacy with a man or you're as good as done, eventually she'll walk away not feeling it. So unless she's got 3 kids and needs a baby daddy, you're going to strike out here. You can't just live a one-sided relationship with her, you fearing the fact of losing her is what is making you so incredibly weak...and that is showing your drastic insecurities...because you can't even really be a man about this...instead you're just being a doormat. It's emotions buddy, not the superficial stuff...she's got to feel it and she's got to respect you and you're acting like a easy to control, overly emotional available and invested fool.
Author Boynextdoor Posted September 2, 2012 Author Posted September 2, 2012 (edited) You're being too much of a nice guy to her. You're doing everything she wants and needs, you're trying too hard. You know what she's used to? getting treated like dirt. You're the nice rebound guy that's trying to win her over by smothering the hell out of her and hoping she sees all that you have to offer. You're not winning the battle, that's not how relationships or romance is done, your infatuation with this girl is not enough to make her feel more emotional for you. You've got to respect yourself, you've got to demand things for yourself....stop this whole nice guy treatment and start acting like a real individual who doesn't just cherish her like gold without her even emotionally investing, you're not going to win her over like that. She gave you a chance because you're the guy she feel she's supposed to date maybe, someone who treated her like you do instead of her ex. But she's not feeling it, women need to feel that spark and intimacy with a man or you're as good as done, eventually she'll walk away not feeling it. So unless she's got 3 kids and needs a baby daddy, you're going to strike out here. You can't just live a one-sided relationship with her, you fearing the fact of losing her is what is making you so incredibly weak...and that is showing your drastic insecurities...because you can't even really be a man about this...instead you're just being a doormat. It's emotions buddy, not the superficial stuff...she's got to feel it and she's got to respect you and you're acting like a easy to control, overly emotional available and invested fool. Thats quite someting. A good read I should say. The way she said it last night as if she wanted me to be emotionally available. In which I was kinda struggling. I saw the potential with her but I just cant give in also. I mean I cant surrender everything. She said I was all but fun. So the way I see it its like Im available but somewhat dettached. Doormat? not really. I could say that I am available when she does contact. Insecurities? not also. actually I dont worry where does this leads us. I posted this one to somewhat understand what im missing out. Honestly my game is different. I dont want her to be part of my game thing. Honestly I can walk pass everything and just ask some to go with me somewhere and yes its quite easy for me. Promise but dont get me wrong im not trying to brag about it. I gotta tell you dude I got SWAG. But this one its like I found the Girl Next door. Edited September 2, 2012 by Boynextdoor
Ninjainpajamas Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 Thats quite someting. A good read I should say. The way she said it last night as if she wanted me to be emotionally available. In which I was kinda struggling. I saw the potential with her but I just cant give in also. I mean I cant surrender everything. She said I was all but fun. So the way I see it its like Im available but somewhat dettached. Doormat? not really. I could say that I am available when she does contact. Insecurities? not also. actually I dont worry where does this leads us. I posted this one to somewhat understand what im missing out. Honestly my game is different. I dont want her to be part of my game thing. Honestly I can walk pass everything and just ask some to go with me somewhere and yes its quite easy for me. Promise but dont get me wrong im not trying to brag about it. I gotta tell you dude I got SWAG. But this one its like I found the Girl Next door. The problem with game is it only works when you're playing. If you're having to be your true self then that's going to lead to being vulnerable. If you're not playing and you take her seriously then you need to put yourself on the line and be vulnerable. If she's work the risk then you have to take that chance, do you really want to walk away with your pride or the fact that you invested emotionally in the one girl so far that's made you feel differently? You've got to ask yourself If you trust her, and even IF you don't do you think she's genuine enough so far to have given you a reason to be trustworthy. If she's still not over her ex that will be a problem, that might be a wall you can't overcome even If you pour your heart out to her. But you've got to be willing to take some chances instead of playing it safe, whatever you're doing now seems like you're trying way too hard and out of your normal regiment and this is apparent to her I think. You may not think you're acting out this way but take a lot at your actions, she doesn't know anything other than how you're acting now...not who you are otherwise with swag and game. Maybe you feel a certain way without her even saying it...maybe you're feeling a bit insecure and vulnerable that you're not used to dealing with. Maybe you're used to women being all into you and you being in control. Thing is she might not be into you, and If she's calling you all but fun then that's not an emotionally available sign, she might need some time to deal with the past...she may even go back. It would however be a learning experience for you to really give in, maybe you'll recognize the sacrifice and emotional investment that women give you If you're game is half decent. I'm going by what you're saying here and what you're telling me, I think you were being honest the first post but the pride is kicking in a bit on the second...make sure you know what you want and how you feel, you've got to be honest with yourself and you need to communicate how you feel with her, that's the only way you're going to find out how she feels as well and to what extent...question her emotoins, find out where she is and IF she's available and how she feels for her, take the risk and leap of telling her how you feel for her and how invested you are willing to be. You've got to stop playing games and lay it out on the table If you are or this is just going to be a frustrated process....one you may very easily could have won If you didn't pull back so much...you've got to try though If you feel she's that amazing.
Author Boynextdoor Posted September 2, 2012 Author Posted September 2, 2012 The problem with game is it only works when you're playing. If you're having to be your true self then that's going to lead to being vulnerable. If you're not playing and you take her seriously then you need to put yourself on the line and be vulnerable. If she's work the risk then you have to take that chance, do you really want to walk away with your pride or the fact that you invested emotionally in the one girl so far that's made you feel differently? You've got to ask yourself If you trust her, and even IF you don't do you think she's genuine enough so far to have given you a reason to be trustworthy. If she's still not over her ex that will be a problem, that might be a wall you can't overcome even If you pour your heart out to her. But you've got to be willing to take some chances instead of playing it safe, whatever you're doing now seems like you're trying way too hard and out of your normal regiment and this is apparent to her I think. You may not think you're acting out this way but take a lot at your actions, she doesn't know anything other than how you're acting now...not who you are otherwise with swag and game. Maybe you feel a certain way without her even saying it...maybe you're feeling a bit insecure and vulnerable that you're not used to dealing with. Maybe you're used to women being all into you and you being in control. Thing is she might not be into you, and If she's calling you all but fun then that's not an emotionally available sign, she might need some time to deal with the past...she may even go back. It would however be a learning experience for you to really give in, maybe you'll recognize the sacrifice and emotional investment that women give you If you're game is half decent. I'm going by what you're saying here and what you're telling me, I think you were being honest the first post but the pride is kicking in a bit on the second...make sure you know what you want and how you feel, you've got to be honest with yourself and you need to communicate how you feel with her, that's the only way you're going to find out how she feels as well and to what extent...question her emotoins, find out where she is and IF she's available and how she feels for her, take the risk and leap of telling her how you feel for her and how invested you are willing to be. You've got to stop playing games and lay it out on the table If you are or this is just going to be a frustrated process....one you may very easily could have won If you didn't pull back so much...you've got to try though If you feel she's that amazing. Im starting to harbor feelings with this woman actually. I wanted her to appreciate me despite of my rugged exterior. I want her to see everything first me,my friends, whats within (but with this one this is where I am trying to be safe) Then yes this is the vulnerability that you're taking about. Clap clap! had a thought of this also " Thing is she might not be into you, and If she's calling you all but fun then that's not an emotionally available sign, she might need some time to deal with the past...she may even go back." I asked her actually I check her on her so that Il know when and not to proceed. Its like her doubt came into play. So I asked her to check herself as well. She said she was over. When she rants I listen literally and just go with her. Not even blast talk the dude coz that aint right. eventhough it sounded like he was an a$$. History stuff dont bother me. My concern the now time only. This is the thing "one you may very easily could have won If you didn't pull back so much...you've got to try though If you feel she's that amazing. " You got it head on.
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