4 approaches, this is how it went.

[Necromancer]

I was sober down town with 2 friends.

 

1. Asked a girl walking past me down the street how old she was: she ignored that.

 

2. I left my friends to approach 3 gals on a bench, I talked only to one of the gals... It was pretty forced conversation then she rejected me when i asked her for a dance. Lame gal.

 

3. Asked a girl how she was doing who i walked past with friends, she had lost her friends and we talked to her for a bit.. then her friends found her and they left shorty after that.

 

4. I cold approached 2 gals on the street (from behind) to bad it was a friend of a friend so i just laughed and went my way.

 

2 and 4 i made alone. 1 and 3 i approached with friends.

 

I am getting better at approaching, feel less awkward and talk confidently. But i think cold approaching is pretty useless on the streets still i do it......

[spiderowl]

It sounds like you were successful in striking up a conversation with one girl at least. That's not bad going.

 

The trouble with approaching a girl cold on the street (or anywhere else) is that the approach appears to the girl to come out of the blue. Imagine you are walking along and a guy appears and asks you how old you are (or a girl). What would you think? Firstly, you'd be very surprised. Secondly, you'd wonder why he wanted to know. Thirdly, you might think it a bit odd and just walk on.

 

I've often been approached by guys like this in the past. I can tell you that most of all I was shocked. I was taken by surprise and that is always a bit scary. Then I wondered what they wanted - were they trying to sell me something, to distract me while someone picked my pocket? Were they lost or weird? The last thing that would have occurred to me was that they were trying to get to know me. I'd had enough sleazy guys approaching who were pick-up artist types and it was obvious they were only looking for sex, so the nice guy who approached was greeted with suspicion.

 

Cold approaches rarely work, but building bridges gradually, for example while sitting in a cafe, might just work.

[Els]

I was sober down town with 2 friends.

 

1. Asked a girl walking past me down the street how old she was: she ignored that.

 

....That was the first thing you asked her, and you expected a positive answer?

 

2. I left my friends to approach 3 gals on a bench, I talked only to one of the gals... It was pretty forced conversation then she rejected me when i asked her for a dance. Lame gal.

 

Mmhmm, right.

 

3. Asked a girl how she was doing who i walked past with friends, she had lost her friends and we talked to her for a bit.. then her friends found her and they left shorty after that.

 

You were expecting her to ditch her friends for you?

 

4. I cold approached 2 gals on the street (from behind) to bad it was a friend of a friend so i just laughed and went my way.

 

Why?

 

I am getting better at approaching, feel less awkward and talk confidently. But i think cold approaching is pretty useless on the streets still i do it......

 

I would say the same about cold approaches in general - that they have a low likelihood of succeeding, but the way you're doing it, you're almost guaranteeing that you'll fail.

[bac]

I was sober down town with 2 friends.

 

1. Asked a girl walking past me down the street how old she was: she ignored that.

 

2. I left my friends to approach 3 gals on a bench, I talked only to one of the gals... It was pretty forced conversation then she rejected me when i asked her for a dance. Lame gal.

 

3. Asked a girl how she was doing who i walked past with friends, she had lost her friends and we talked to her for a bit.. then her friends found her and they left shorty after that.

 

4. I cold approached 2 gals on the street (from behind) to bad it was a friend of a friend so i just laughed and went my way.

 

2 and 4 i made alone. 1 and 3 i approached with friends.

 

I am getting better at approaching, feel less awkward and talk confidently. But i think cold approaching is pretty useless on the streets still i do it......

 

I would be very afraid of you if you do it to me.

Do you know that every little girl was told by her parents that she should not talk with strangers? And, the statement is still true for any girl if she has some common sense.

Before making a move you should create some rapport so she would get some idea of who you are and that you are not dangerous socially.

[GravityMan]

Regarding #1...that was pretty dumb on your part, OP.

[bdash]

Ok, although I am certainly no pickup artist, and this is certainly something I need to work on too, here are a couple things I noticed that you could improve on:

 

1. your first approach was super awkward. Don't try that again. Try to avoid questions that could make someone feel self conscious as intro questions. (ie: don't ask her how much she weighs, etc.)

2. Never, ever, approach a girl you don't know from behind. That will, more often than not, come across as creepy. If you don't have another option for approach try to tap them on the shoulder and let them turn around so they can see you before you start talking.

[MrCastle]

Dude, work on building your social circle. This cold approach **** is lame.

[sweetheart5381]

I would be completely creeped out with any of these approaches.

 

I've been flirting back and forth with a gentleman in a store that I frequent... for months! He knows where I live, my marital status, my kids, where I work, etc. BUT he def would not ask how old I was, lol.

 

You need a new game plan for meeting women because random, on the street questioning is only gonna get you slapped, or may even cause another man to move in and attempt to save a girl that appears to be being bothered by a weirdo.

[oaks]

4. I cold approached 2 gals on the street (from behind) to bad it was a friend of a friend so i just laughed and went my way.

 

Similar thing happened to me recently. In a bar, walked over to approach two attractive women - one had her back to me so I hadn't seen much of her. Turned out that the one with her back to me was someone I had been introduced to a few times via a group of friends. Luckily I remembered her name, although the look on her face when I said "it's... Julie, isn't it?" was priceless - she didn't remember me at first.

 

I am getting better at approaching, feel less awkward and talk confidently.

 

Sounds like you're getting better at the 'being brave and walking over and saying something' part (well done!), but perhaps not so great on the exact words used... not sure that asking a woman how old she is is the best opener (but at least you didn't ask what she weighs).

 

C+ for effort. Keep trying!

[Radu]

I was sober down town with 2 friends.

 

1. Asked a girl walking past me down the street how old she was: she ignored that.

Depending on age and society, that can be VERY rude.

 

2. I left my friends to approach 3 gals on a bench, I talked only to one of the gals... It was pretty forced conversation then she rejected me when i asked her for a dance. Lame gal.

Dance in the street ?

 

3. Asked a girl how she was doing who i walked past with friends, she had lost her friends and we talked to her for a bit.. then her friends found her and they left shorty after that.

 

4. I cold approached 2 gals on the street (from behind) to bad it was a friend of a friend so i just laughed and went my way.

Where i live doing this is considered rude, approaching a girl from behind, running after her in the street.

 

2 and 4 i made alone. 1 and 3 i approached with friends.

 

I am getting better at approaching, feel less awkward and talk confidently. But i think cold approaching is pretty useless on the streets still i do it......

I used to do the same, but i found it kinda ... stupid eventually.

It had the effect of reducing my social and approach anxiety though.

 

Over time i moved into improv stuff and tried to get my inner persona more in tune with my outer persona.

Resulted in me being a bit more cocky, joking in a friendly way.

I also moved from what i call 'forced approaches' [what you do now], to more natural ones ... while shopping, while paying bills.

 

To give you an example, a few weeks ago i was in this supermarket and i couldn't find something, no employees nearby, and i asked this hot girl that was looking for a certain type of pasta. We ended up spending 15min of giving directions and what not, and then i asked for her number.

She had a fiance and wasn't lying about it [did the access memory test], so then we spent another 10min with me asking questions about guys who approach her.

After i found out she had a fiance, i really was not interested in her anymore but she was charming company.

 

Good luck.

 

PS: Cold approaching to me ended up feeling like it was unnatural, it had an unnatural vibe to it.

Kinda like forcing something to happen vs giving it a gentle push and letting it happen.

Edited September 2, 2012 by Radu

[Necromancer]

....That was the first thing you asked her, and you expected a positive answer?

 

 

 

Mmhmm, right.

 

 

 

You were expecting her to ditch her friends for you?

 

 

 

Why?

 

 

 

I would say the same about cold approaches in general - that they have a low likelihood of succeeding, but the way you're doing it, you're almost guaranteeing that you'll fail.

 

She was around 20 not older.

 

She didn't look like a fun company, but she didn't own me anything. She could ignore me if she didn't want to talk to me.

 

No, we talked for 2-3 min befor they left. I was just checking if she was interesting.

 

Because i am not going to hit on her. Way more attractive than i am.

The friend she was with was average but i just went my way.

 

I am doing it for fun/becoming at approaching.

 

If i get rejected it's cool if i get success it's cool.

[Necromancer]

Dude, work on building your social circle. This cold approach **** is lame.

 

I have alot of friends. I am just doing it for entertainment on weekends mostly.

[Els]

She was around 20 not older.

 

I don't even... What does this have to do with the fact that asking someone her age is possibly the worst conversation opener in the history of time?!?!?

[carhill]

Congratulations on your sobriety

[Necromancer]

I don't even... What does this have to do with the fact that asking someone her age is possibly the worst conversation opener in the history of time?!?!?

 

If some hot girl would ask me how old i was i would find nothing wrong with it.

 

I would be amazed. My theory is that it doesn't matter what you say. What matters is who says it and how you say it. Don't try to argue it's field tested ;-) haha.

[Radu]

Yeah, go forward my son, and break your neck trying to prove a theory that others before you have.

Maybe you should print out picks of your dick and offer them autographed as an introduction to these girls.

Since it doesn't matter what you say, and a picture is worth a thousand words.

[Necromancer]

Yeah, go forward my son, and break your neck trying to prove a theory that others before you have.

Maybe you should print out picks of your dick and offer them autographed as an introduction to these girls.

Since it doesn't matter what you say, and a picture is worth a thousand words.

 

Field tested was a joke.

 

I am not talking about that extreme but you can talk about garbage subject and make it a really funny conversation.

[Els]

If some hot girl would ask me how old i was i would find nothing wrong with it.

 

I would be amazed. My theory is that it doesn't matter what you say. What matters is who says it and how you say it. Don't try to argue it's field tested ;-) haha.

 

Unfortunately your OP completely disproved this theory, didn't it? Clearly 'what you said' mattered a whole lot in that instance.

[oldshirt]

You realize muggers and rapists and kidnappers and serial killers etc all do the same thing right?

 

Criminals on the street often don't just jump out of the bushes and stick a knife or something in someone's face. They'll swim around like sharks looking for a potential victim and make the initial approach as innocent as possible then ask some lame question like the time or for directions or something like that to determine how compliant and cooperative a person is and if they seem compliant and nonthreatening they will escalate the intrusion and then they will pull the weapon or whack them over the head or something.

 

This is why virtually every mother on the planet admonishes their kids from day one not to talk to strangers.

 

I know you can buy PUA books that tell you how to approach a complete stranger on the street in hopes of taking her home but one can't help but think it is closely related to the same desparate, shark-like, predatorial practice of a common street mugger.

[2.50 a gallon]

Necromancer

 

A good trial run. Just keep trying and you will eventually learn what does and does not work.

 

As for a woman's age, that is one of the taboo subjects I never get near. Not even with my GF of 17 years. Her B-day is coming up, and have already made reservations for dinner, nothing, nada, zip will be asked or said about her age.

 

Always be on the look out for something you can say or do that will make her laugh.

 

One of my old stand by's for years is if a woman should sneeze, almost always there is a second, then tell them "You know a third sneeze is bad luck?"

 

"Really?''

 

"Well in my case it always means I am coming down with a cold"

 

oldshirt

 

Yes you have a point. But on the other hand, you might never see her again, with this being your only chance, you have a choice, let her walk out of you life forever, or perhaps take a chance and make contact.

[Caius Ballad]

Dude, work on building your social circle. This cold approach **** is lame.

 

Or he can buy a damn escort. Dating is tedious, Game is tedious, marriage is tedious and why I ask myself......because women make it so damn tedious.

[oldshirt]

 

 

 

oldshirt

 

Yes you have a point. But on the other hand, you might never see her again, with this being your only chance, you have a choice, let her walk out of you life forever, or perhaps take a chance and make contact.

 

 

They're complete strangers that he has no rapport with and no investment in. If they walk out of his life, so what? They are not in his life to begin with.

 

I'm not saying what he is doing is bad or wrong per se, just highly ineffective and inefficient.

 

I will concede that learning to do cold approaches like this does have some limited value and that is if someone is on the shy side and lacks for some common social skills, I will concede that doing repetitive cold approaches can over time help you overcome some approach anxiety and you can learn some interaction skills. you just have to hope noone calls the police while you are doing it.

 

I think there are a lot of more effective ways to learn social skills and over come social anxiety though.

[oldshirt]

Dude, work on building your social circle. This cold approach **** is lame.

 

 

I agree with this. For many people at the end of the day their special someone and the person they end up marrying and making a family with is someone that they met through their social or professional circle in some way. Whether it was a friend of a friend or met at a friends party or while doing some activity with friends/family/coworkers etc etc.

 

If you took the time and energy that you spent walking up to complete strangers and applied that time and energy into doing some kind of fun activity with some people that you know and trust and approached and talked to girls in that group, they would be a million times less suspicious and less freaked out than by just some random dude approaching them and making an ass of himself on a street corner.

 

Take the time and energy you spend approaching and making lame converstation with complete strangers and apply that time and energy into organizing some kind of fun activity with a group of males and females and tell all them to bring some friends of theirs.

 

You will have a million times more social value as being the person that makes fun things happen vs being the wierdo that walks up to strangers on a street corner asking them how old they are.

[2.50 a gallon]

"cold approach is . . . . lame"? ? ?

 

Couldn't be further from the truth. I have yet to hear of any one calling the police because a man asked a woman whom he had never met to dance.

 

I think I have about 20 cousins, and half of them I would have never met, as my uncle while studying in a park would have never walked over to meet my aunt who was sitting on a blanket enjoying the day. Another uncle who broke ranks while marching in a parade to meet my future aunt who was a spectator. His sister got approached by a young cowboy, he's passed now, but left behind two boys and a girl.

 

One of my parents dearest friends, he was a midwesterner, she was visiting from the south, he over heard her southern twang and just had to meet her. Lucky for the world, as their union produced a dentist, surgeon and a preacher's wife.

 

And me, I have met hundreds of women this way.

 

I don't know about you, but meeting that special someone, who has a face I could kiss good morning to for the rest of my life, does not happen all that often. And I never had the luck to meet one in my social circle of friends.

 

Through the cold approach I met my Ex-fiance and my Ex-W, though it was the W who approached me.

 

At present I am coming up on 17 of my happiest years and gladly kissed good morning to, with a woman who is totally out of my league.

[ScreamingTrees]

I agree with this. For many people at the end of the day their special someone and the person they end up marrying and making a family with is someone that they met through their social or professional circle in some way. Whether it was a friend of a friend or met at a friends party or while doing some activity with friends/family/coworkers etc etc.

 

If you took the time and energy that you spent walking up to complete strangers and applied that time and energy into doing some kind of fun activity with some people that you know and trust and approached and talked to girls in that group, they would be a million times less suspicious and less freaked out than by just some random dude approaching them and making an ass of himself on a street corner.

 

Take the time and energy you spend approaching and making lame converstation with complete strangers and apply that time and energy into organizing some kind of fun activity with a group of males and females and tell all them to bring some friends of theirs.

 

You will have a million times more social value as being the person that makes fun things happen vs being the wierdo that walks up to strangers on a street corner asking them how old they are.

 

My problem with this is that you're assuming his "social group" will have mutual female friends amongst their ranks.. Me, personally, most of the people I've ever spent time with was usually one on one or in a group of several people or less.. And they were all dudes. If I was hanging out with a dozen people, they were all guys.

 

At least OP's trying to do something.. Even if it ain't the best method, I'm sure it can be done. He had one decent conversation, at least that's a step in the right direction, socially speaking..