Kilikina Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 This is my story, my boyfriend, or i guess ex-boyfriend were together for 5 years, the first 2 years were bad, he broke up with me alot (he is 2 years younger) and then would always come back; I think he just didn't know who he was. Anyways after the first 2 years we were together for 3 years before he ended it again. We were happy but we had issues in the relationship and we both knew it. I think it tied back to a lack of emtional intimacy that made me not want to be romantic or physical with him which really hurt him. I was too selfish and childish to get outside of myself and see things from his perspective and I have so many regrets because of it now. He was telling me he loved me and was in love with me right up until the day he ended it. We got in a stupid fight because he smirked about a personal opinion I had about sex and I got mad and acted like a pouty child and told him to admit I was right but he said no one was right, it was just different opinions. He apologized several times but I refused to let it go and I told him when he got home to pack his things and get out (we live together) cause I didn't want to be with someone who had different beliefs than me. We got home and I was still ignoring him and he started smoking again (had quit for 3 weeks) and started to pack his things and said I was right, we didn't have the same beliefs. He said he should've done it a while ago and that he loved me but was not in love with me anymore; he said we wern't right for eachother and wern't compatible and are broken. I begged him to not go and asked him to go to counselling like we had agreed to do just earlier that week to fix our issues but he refused. He packed his things and moved out and made sure to tell me this was it this time, he wasn't coming back. He sobbed and said he was so sorry and thanked me for helping him be who he was cause he'd come a long way but said he couldn't be who I wanted him to be. I saw him today as I had locked myself out of our apartment and he had to come let me in and after he left we texted and I asked if he had any regrets and he said he didn't want to hurt me anymore than he already had but no, he's more sure everyday. He also said that it's over forever, there will be no going back now or in the future and I needed to act accordingly in my plans (I'm trying to figure out what to do now and how to pick up the pieces). I don't think he's coming back like he has before and I feel like I can't breathe, he wasn't perfect, god knows I was far from as well but I felt like we fit and I guess after years went by I stopped seeing him leaving as an option, he promised we would aways fight for our relationship. I'm so heartbroken and I don't know what to do; all I want to do is beg him to take me back but I know he won't. I moved to another province for him and I have no family and no friends here and I am so alone now and scared, he was my life, my love and my best friend and I miss him so much, even just talking to him. Do you think he will change his mind? How do I move on and deal with this pain because I feel like it's suffocating me. I don't know how to do this...
Author Kilikina Posted September 1, 2012 Author Posted September 1, 2012 I just asked him if there was anything I could say or do to change his mind and he said no nothing and when I asked him how he knew for sure he said he just does, he can feel it. That it's not like the other time, he's at peace. I feel like I'm dying and yet I can't make the stupid hope go away..
Vikki_26 Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 Hi have a read of my thread as I am just like you and there is loads of good advice on there x
lil hoodlum Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 Just my opinion, I wouldn't be surprised if he does come back. It sounds like he was really mad at you for threatening him to move out. If I were you, just back off and give him so time and space. His anger at you will likely lessen over time. The plus side is that ya'll have broken up and got back together before. I would really consider going to counseling though to work through your issues. Good luck!
Author Kilikina Posted September 2, 2012 Author Posted September 2, 2012 Yeah I am going to go to counselling and work on me; I need to fix my own issues so the next relationship, whether with him or not, I don't make the same mistakes and to help me grow. I hope he comes back I really do because it wasn't perfect but I think it was fixable and could've then been what we both wanted and needed. I just need to operate with the mindset he's not coming back and move forward and if he does, great but if he doesn't then I'm still moving forward.
Author Kilikina Posted September 2, 2012 Author Posted September 2, 2012 Hey Vikki I actually read through a lot of your stuff already. Does it get easier with time?
Vikki_26 Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 Yeah it does get easier, after two weeks I started eating again and feeling better.
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