hurts_so_bad Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 Too make a long story short. I was with my wife 20 yeras and married 18...We have 3 great kids 17,13 & 10...We bought a home together and had most everything that the normal white picket fence family would have...Even so I was a good provider throughout our marriage I was a screwup...I was a drinker who enjoyed gambling from time too time spending tons of cash, There were countless nights I never came home, and got myself in trouble 3 times with DWI's.. My wife decided she had enough in Feb 2012 and asked me to leave...So I moved out. We have been seperated since.....Shortly after the seperation I found out she started seeing a guy from her job..Needless to say, crushed me! I admit all my faults and have gotten help as well as been taking care of myself at the gym etc....I am doing everything possible to be a better man... Throughout these 7 months I always had hope of getting back together but little by little it appears to me its just not gonna happen! I have been in contact with her for the entire time texting or talking regarding money issues etc so there was never really no contact and the times I did see her I always confessed my love and hopes to get back together...I always wanted to do the no contact but its kind of impossible when there is a home and 3 children involved! I am at the stage of the game now where it may be able to do the no contact..Do you think its still possible that it can work? Also since this seperation I have felt inadequate in the bedroom...I constatntly ask myself what this guy has I dont...Is he better then me? You see so many long term relationships that come to an end where the ex's still from time to time get together for a little fun. Mine left and never looked back which makes me feel worse and like he does have something I dont... I have met other girls during this time but none that were take home to mom girls...The times I was intimate I found myself not being able to keep or even get hard..This has NEVER happened to me before! Its very frustration because I feel I need to move on but its like Im being held back. One more thing I need advice on!!!! I asked my wife if she wanted to go to dinner last week. We met at a nearby place and had something to eat then we took a walk..The entire night lasted around 4 hours..We talked joked around a bit it was nice! At one point I told her to look in my eyes and tell me she didnt love me..She said she cant tell me that but she also showed very little emotion and seemed to tense up when I tried to hold her. At the end of the night I asked her if she would like to go to dinner this Wed coming up. She said yes....You may think Im nuts but I am thinking of cancelling...Why? I just feel there is no emotion from her to me and I feel like it may be a losing battle. I also kind of feel that she has never really had any chance to miss me...Maybe if I stop the contact she will change how she feels? Absence make the heart grow fonder sort of thing.. What do you guys think? should I keep the date or break it? I dont know guys Im still confused after 7 months! Sorry I am all over the place!
jgregory4614 Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 Yes...go on the date. I think you have something going for yourself here. You really need to keep the emotional feelings to minimum. Telling her to look into your eyes and holding her tight when you get an uncomfortable vibe from her isnt good at all. Your going to sufficate her. Now, you scored a 2nd date with her. Good for you! It shows she sees something in you. Most people on here would die for a chance like that. Try your best to not blow it this time. Be cool, and dont let your emotions get the best of you. Its very important at this time. Dont give a choice to say if she loves you of not. If she likes what she sees, in time she will let you know. The ball is in her court with the dicission of you two getting back together. You did good with laughing and joking with eachother. Keep it up and she'll want to get together even more. Hopefully you've put down the drinking and gambling and from what you posted it waz the cause of her wanting you to leave. I think if yoh tackle that problem 100% you shouldnt have a problem getting back into your wifes life. Just remember. If you want to get back with your wife, you have to leave the other boyfriend situation behind you. Just let it be. She thought she was done with you and she was moving on with life. Remember that. Dont mention anything about it. If not and you do get back together it could be the cause another break up. Good luck on your date. Keep us updated and remember just be cool. No emotional crap.
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