jgregory4614 Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 Hello all, To make a long story short, Ive been seperated for 3 months now. My wife and I have been married for 8 years with 3 kids and has been rocky from the start. Ive dealt with her leaving and cheating on me a couple through out the years. The main reason why I wanted our relationship to work was due to our childeren. Now, three months ago she went out of town on a buisness trip for the day and ended up at a bar drinking til 1am. When she got home I told her I had enough and wasnt going to live like this anymore. I just couldnt take it anymore. She then told me she wasnt happy and wanted out of the marriage. 3 months later here I am. Reading the threads on LS has given me some insight on how to cope. Without LS I probably would have done some things I might have regreated later. A break up is one of the most enduring pains we could possibly go through next to a death of a loved one. In the past I felt like I was going through a nervous breakdown. It seems like no one could ever understand the pain I was feeling. Sometimes I couldnt get out of bed or I didnt feel like going to work. I just wanted to crawl into a dark corner and waste away. After this last seperation with my wife and looking back on all the emotional pain I tried to endure from all the cheating and lies i finally come to the realization that I am better off without her. Before, I felt like I didnt have a choice. I loved her. I felt like I could let anyone else be with her and so on. I do think about her a lot but I know I cant be with her. When that urge of missing her comes around I tell myself "I cant be with her. She is no good for me" and it actually helps. I also started working out. Its helps with building confidence. Ive had several compliments from people who know me and noticed a slight change in my physical apperance. I have a more confident walk now rather than being slumped over with my head down. Ive been able to move to another near by town to help avoid run ins with my wife or accidentally running into her while shes with another guy. The last seperation thats how I found out she was involved with her manager from work. So, in that case I eliminated that problem. If I needed to pick up my kids for our weekend visit i simply call her ahead of time to avoid finding another man posted up at my use to be family home. I use to drive by our house early in the morning to see if someone elses vehicle was parked in front of our house which made me feel like a creep for doing it and knew it was wrong as far as the coping process goes. Yes, coping is a long hard road. Everyone here is going through the the problem. Thats why we are here. We all share one common thing that we call heartbreak. Its hard to recover from it. Im still in a constant battle with my demons everyday. Some people get over it in no time and some it takes years. Just remember, its all just a bump in the road. Life goes on. Do your best to love yourself and be a better person than the one who dumped you. 2
GLDheart Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 ... looking back on all the emotional pain I tried to endure from all the cheating and lies i finally come to the realization that I am better off without her... Just focus on that part right there. If she comes back with the "I made a mistake" crap, what is your plan to cope?
Author jgregory4614 Posted September 1, 2012 Author Posted September 1, 2012 I know eventually she will ask me to come back but i know it will not work. I cant go through this all over again. If I do go back, she will continue to do what she has always done. The bad thing is, I cant totaly avoid her due to the kid situation but all I can do is leave it at that and nothing more. I havent tried to have an emotional conversation with her since the break up and I dont plan to do so. I signed up for the Army so I get away from her. Even though we get along now i just dont feel comfortable being around her. So, joining the Army was my best option to help deal with the coping process. I just have to make to new life for myself all together.
GLDheart Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 I get escaping to cope... but what if your all "coped out" but still serving out time? That sounds like maybe a pretty long term solution to a relatively short term emotional issue. I wonder too about your influence in the child's life with you away. Any plans there or are you removing yourself from the picture?
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