MontanaGirl Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 Hi everyone, My friend broke up with her long-term boyfriend, after a disastrous, drama-filled mess that lasted (on & off) about four years. They agreed to take a break over the summer & figure out what they wanted. She decided she wanted to move on (he was more conflicted). They agreed to spend a while with low/no contact and then see if they could work on a friendship (he's still hoping for more eventually). The tricky part: he wants to spend this weekend together, just having fun. He thinks it will help them walk away with good memories, instead of hurt and anger. She thinks they will: A) Have a great time and make separating that much more complicated; B) Have a horrible time, get into a fight, and just throw on more bad feelings; or C) Have an only ok time, and he won't feel satisfied with the closure and want more. Any result would make things worse in her mind, so she said no--but now feels guilty. What are your opinions, LS'ers? Is it better in the long-run to leave with after attempting to have one last great weekend, like her ex is asking for? Or better to cut your losses and run, like my friend wants? Background: they are both late twenties & work in the same office building. There was no cheating, they are just fundamentally incompatible & fight a lot. My friend has been trying hard to keep the breakup civil to avoid work conflict.
veggirl Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 It would be a terrible idea for her to spend the weekend together. Obviously he has alterior motives, he will use this weekend to try to win her back and will leave devastated when it doesnt work. I think if she cares about his feelings at all she should decline for sure! 1
utterer of lies Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 The tricky part: he wants to spend this weekend together, just having fun. He thinks it will help them walk away with good memories, instead of hurt and anger. She thinks they will: A) Have a great time and make separating that much more complicated; B) Have a horrible time, get into a fight, and just throw on more bad feelings; or C) Have an only ok time, and he won't feel satisfied with the closure and want more. Any result would make things worse in her mind, so she said no--but now feels guilty. Late twenties and that naive? This will not go well. This guy is deluding himself, and 'she' should never agree to this. People don't work like that. All it will lead to is pain and suffering for all parties involved. 1
Emilia Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 B) I'm sure he is thinking they would just screw for the whole weekend but in fact they would constantly fight. Best to move on. No such thing as leaving happy memories after a break up - unless there is disinterest in which case the sex would be c**p anyway.
Pasttense Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Both of them need to find other relationships before re-developing a friendship/good memories with each other.
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