Mr Scorpio Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 August 21st marked the two year anniversary of my ex leaving me for the second time. August 23rd marked the two year anniversary of the last time I had seen her. Tonight the "last time I saw her" clock got reset. I attended a concert with some friends. Oddly enough, I dreamt of my ex the two nights previous to this. And wouldn't you know who decided to show up at the concert? Of course, my ex with the man she replaced me with! Apparently it was his birthday, as he was toting a "happy birthday" baloon around with him. Frankly, that simply made it easier to avoid them -- until she decided to go rogue and sneak up on my group of friends. She went as far as to text me during the concert, and tap me on the back, but I simply walked into a thick crowd and never looked back. Cowardly? Perhaps. Wise? More than likely. I was ready to marry this woman, and she left me over the course of two weeks for the guy she is with now. To think that she would expect that I'd be willing to set that aside -- two years in the past or not -- is crazy. I'll never read the text she sent me. There is nothing more to be said between us. Nothing.
Sugarkane Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 Sounds like you probably did the right thing. I hope I could do the same if ever a similar situation happened. I don't think it's cowardly. Dumping you and being with someone else 5 minutes later is.
esteem-jam Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 Nah, it isnt cowardly. I can understand you, I had some similar situation(s), where I walked past her and only seen her behind me in reflection of glass, its pretty epic. All interactions with exes are like that I guess, for a while. You went there to have a good time. You dont need somebody coming at you with negativity. Also, interesting that she remembered you (texted, came to you) when she needed acknowledgment at that place. She didnt text you before, just right there. I hate people like that... for example long not-seen-friends-acquaintances who only remember you when they need something from you. Nah, you did OK.
Sugarkane Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 Let's face it if we contact them, they Also ignore us most of the time. 2
GLDheart Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 Two years doesn't matter. I can see you are still in some degree of pain. Your actions are holding her accountable for her actions. Only she knows if it has any effect on her. Until you are truly indifferent, you did the right thing. I dream of the day when my ex comes to me and says "I screwed up" and I sit there truly unmoved thinking silently "who cares"... 2
fucpcg Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 I always try to at least act decent with ex's, and much prefer that we can end as friends, and hopefully good friends. I will never NOT talk to an ex, but yes no need to be extra friendly with them either if they aren't warranting it. I'm not sure what went down at the concert or in your breakup, I recall some of your personal struggles for sure... Life sometimes is just more painful than it should be. I recently broke up with a girl because I couldn't deal with her bipolar mood swings, or her lack of desire to properly treat them. You could say it was a mutual breakup, she probably would, but no I just stopped talking to her. It lasted about 2 months which is a lot considering we play on the same volleyball team every week. We broke the ice maybe a couple weeks ago, talking again. She asked me yesterday if she could take my dog for a walk sometime, as she is really attached to my dog, and I said yes of course. Today she showed up with some guy to take the dog, which really made me shake my head in disbelief. However she loves my dog, she's good to my dog.... I opened the door and said here you go and went back inside. When she dropped off, once again I opened the door and let the dog in, looked at her and said thanks, and shut the door. I could see she wanted to talk, but if she really wanted to talk, she wouldn't show up with a guy in her car. So it was sad, but... I'd never deny her the chance to be with my dog, they are attached to each other, but no I'm not gonna talk either with some guy standing around. If your ex really wanted to find a way to talk, she would do it without bumping into you at a concert while with another man. 1
Frank13 Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 She went as far as to text me during the concert, and tap me on the back, but I simply walked into a thick crowd and never looked back. Cowardly? Perhaps. Wise? More than likely. As I read "I simply walked into a thick crowd and never looked back" I got a smile on my face and felt so proud of you. Imagine her face and how she felt when you did that. Not cowardly at all. Not that you are trying to get back at her or get revenge but the saying "revenge is a dish best served cold" wopuld seem to apply. Chances are the text would have been breadcrumbs. She left you for another guy and is with him. What the hell does she need to text you for? Very proud of you. 3
Author Mr Scorpio Posted September 3, 2012 Author Posted September 3, 2012 Let's face it if we contact them, they Also ignore us most of the time. Very true. She wrote me last November, after 14 months NC, to test the waters while her feet were cold. That exchange ended with her leaving me hanging. Then, when I wrote a casual letter this April I got no reply.
g450 Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 I always try to at least act decent with ex's, and much prefer that we can end as friends, and hopefully good friends. I will never NOT talk to an ex, but yes no need to be extra friendly with them either if they aren't warranting it. I'm not sure what went down at the concert or in your breakup, I recall some of your personal struggles for sure... Life sometimes is just more painful than it should be. I recently broke up with a girl because I couldn't deal with her bipolar mood swings, or her lack of desire to properly treat them. You could say it was a mutual breakup, she probably would, but no I just stopped talking to her. It lasted about 2 months which is a lot considering we play on the same volleyball team every week. We broke the ice maybe a couple weeks ago, talking again. She asked me yesterday if she could take my dog for a walk sometime, as she is really attached to my dog, and I said yes of course. Today she showed up with some guy to take the dog, which really made me shake my head in disbelief. However she loves my dog, she's good to my dog.... I opened the door and said here you go and went back inside. When she dropped off, once again I opened the door and let the dog in, looked at her and said thanks, and shut the door. I could see she wanted to talk, but if she really wanted to talk, she wouldn't show up with a guy in her car. So it was sad, but... I'd never deny her the chance to be with my dog, they are attached to each other, but no I'm not gonna talk either with some guy standing around. If your ex really wanted to find a way to talk, she would do it without bumping into you at a concert while with another man. Wait, you let you Ex visit YOU dog? Why on earth would you do that? Why play that silly game with her. It's a dog for crying out loud. It's not like she can get a court order for dog visitation etc. And personally I would not be playing vollyball or any other game with an ex. Forgive me for being brutally honest with you but it sounds to me like you both use the dog as an excuse to see each other and stay in contact. Staying in contact with a cheater is only going to do you harm. 1
fucpcg Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 Well thanks for all that, but let's not hijack a thread. And I remain friends with every single ex, in fact very good friends with most. I don't care what the sheep do in the LS forum to conform, I'm not a sheep.
g450 Posted September 5, 2012 Posted September 5, 2012 Well forgive me for not being blind. But your right, lets not hijack the thread. The OP has it right. Others just dong get it I guess.
Author Mr Scorpio Posted September 11, 2012 Author Posted September 11, 2012 But your right, lets not hijack the thread. The OP has it right. Others just dong get it I guess. Thanks for the support. As for having it "right", it was only the action that was right for me. The sad truth is that I've been obsessed with the same woman -- thought about her every day and compared all others to her --for eleven years. Fucpcg is a stronger man than I. If I didn't still have feelings for my ex, I'd gladly be friends with her. Unfortunately, I don't know if such a day will ever come. Thus, walking away was my safest option.
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