Emotional Trauma

[james4bond]

Hi. So my story is simply complex. I had dated my ex for 5yrs, we have a kid together and after living with roommates we decided to move to her home city to start a new life as a family. Being there I didn't have a job at first but borrowed money from my parents to pay bills like rent and stuff, she got a job quickly and handled the food for me, her and our baby. Things started changing with the stress of moving to a new place and starting a new life, she became very irritable to helping out with her wages and her car, and she stopped being passionate with me. Sex became dull, boring and one-sided. I stupidly decided one day to message random girls online to feel that confidence of being attractive again but unfortunately she saw the messages and left me with our baby. I felt devastated as I hurt the love of my life and broke my family. I begged and got her back. Now I got a job and paid for the bills but still we argued and fought bitterly a lot and she kept referring to me not being trustworthy as the reason for our problems and she couldn't trust me again. Then we took time off to decide what she really wanted but afterwards she said she still loved and wanted me. A week after we got back, we had the worst fight in our relationship and I told her I couldn't do it anymore and was done with us. Funny thing is when she was leaving she saw a message I had sent to another random girl online and that just double hurt her and I felt sick for 3 months for how hurt she must have felt. Now she's seeing someone else 5 months after we broke up. She lied about him every time I asked if she was dating again but I found out somehow and asked her and she confessed she said she didn't want to hurt me by telling me and they were in love. Now she says I;ve changed with how I act with my kid and the me she loved is back and she really wants to be friends. I asked if we could still ever be together because I miss her so much but she says no but insists on being friends for our kid and though I say I cant be friends she still tries to find out what's going on with me asking questions about my life. Can I get her back? if so How?