jrosie Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 Hi all! New here and I need some advice. I just moved to a new area and know no one yet. I met this guy who came to do some work on my house with his Dad. His Dad had told me he was very interested in me, so I told him to give his son my number. Three days later I got the call but told him I couldn't hang out, so we made plans for a later date that week. We went out and everything was great so we continued to pursue each other. I met his friends and we all had a great time. This guy seemed perfect, opening doors, wanting to hold my hand, buying me drinks and getting upset when guys were staring at me. This was the weekend before last week. He was sleeping on the couch at his friends house (He had just moved in) so I told him to come stay with me and he could sleep in my bed with me (we did nothing.) So I'm thinking this guy is my knight in shining armor. We had gotten into a conversation about our pasts, I told him about my rape and how my Dad passed away and he told me about his rape and all the trouble he had gotten into. After that, we made plans to see each other last weekend but he kept getting tied up doing other things. He would say "I'll call you in 30 minutes" and I wouldn't hear from him until I called him 3 hours later and then I would get another "I'll call you in 30 minutes" and the process would just repeat. I tried not to think anything of it but it was really getting under my skin. I then told him I regretted telling him everything I told him and he told me not too. He didn't think anything different of me. We saw eachother, on the weekend in the evenings. This week was much better. We saw each other every night and hung around at home watched movies. He even asked me out. He's always so sweet calling me beautiful, telling me how pretty I am. How lucky he feels to have me and that he never thought it would be like this. He invited me to his friend's son's birthday party as well, and asked if I wanted to meet his mom (I looked like a hooootttt mess though...) He also told me that we don't have to have sex for a month or three he's even willing to wait a year. However I'm starting to get urked that I only see him at night and for a few hours. We haven't gone anywhere or done anything since he invited me out with his friends. Tonight we were supposed to hang out but his phone was off, then it was on again but after calling him twice I got no response. Is this guy really into me? Or is he just playing a very good game? I'm really not trying to have another weekend where I'm waiting around for him and feeling bad about myself. Any advice? Thanks!!
GLDheart Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 The "we can wait for sex" thing is a HUGE line. Guys often just say it to take the pressure off you... that way you of course have sex sooner. Also you seem to be in a little too much of an anxious pursuit of this guy. I am sensing it just reading that post. I can only imagine how strong it is coming across to him. And one more thing. What's up with this: ...and he told me about his rape and all the trouble he had gotten into. . This part kind of begs a little explanation.
Author jrosie Posted September 1, 2012 Author Posted September 1, 2012 He had gotten into a problem with drugs and served some time. He's currently on probation has had a few slip ups, but otherwise he's clean. I feel like I might just be a little too available for him. Right now I don't have a job because I just moved here a month ago. I'm totally willing to wait the 3 months, haha it's nothing to me. I just don't want to be played with. I don't know if I would say I'm in anxious pursuit, he asked me out and I said yes so I guess that would make me his girlfriend. I know it sounds crazy, but I'm thinking I might just be his weekday thing and he has a weekend girl on the side. I really just want to drive by his house and see if he's home, if he's not then I'm over it.
Author jrosie Posted September 1, 2012 Author Posted September 1, 2012 I guess driving by his house does make me sound like I'm in anxious pursuit haha oops.
veggirl Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 I guess driving by his house does make me sound like I'm in anxious pursuit haha oops. er yeah don't do that. You need to slow your roll. You should not be hanging out with him every single night! Too much. You're way too available...I think 3x per week at this point is the max you should be seeing him. Why don't you suggest things for you guys to do? I think you should back off and let him come to you. also the whole I would wait a year for sex...lie! Sure he might wait a year with you but only if he's getting somewhere else in the meantime. That was a total line. Don't fall for it. How old are you both? You may have opened up too much too soon, talking about family deaths and rapes and jail sentences! The beginning should be light and fun, that kinda stuff should come out slowly and over time IMO.
Author jrosie Posted September 2, 2012 Author Posted September 2, 2012 Yea, just wanted to let you guys know I ended the situation. Jail sentences...that was a major thing. He was trying to see me every day but would leave me hanging for hours and then come by around 8:30 every night...guess he had a day thing a weekend thing and, I was his night thing. I figured he would probably try to get someone else in the meantime that was easier. I'm just soooo glad we didn't have sex! He also started complaining about money. He works for his Dad and he was saying that his Dad was only giving him $100 a week and no overtime pay. HA! We couldn't do anything BUT sit on the couch. Even if it's true there's gotta be a reason for that. Messing up again? His dad knew what he was up to? Most likely. Thank you for all your help! Sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else.
veggirl Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 Yea, just wanted to let you guys know I ended the situation. Jail sentences...that was a major thing. He was trying to see me every day but would leave me hanging for hours and then come by around 8:30 every night...guess he had a day thing a weekend thing and, I was his night thing. I figured he would probably try to get someone else in the meantime that was easier. I'm just soooo glad we didn't have sex! He also started complaining about money. He works for his Dad and he was saying that his Dad was only giving him $100 a week and no overtime pay. HA! We couldn't do anything BUT sit on the couch. Even if it's true there's gotta be a reason for that. Messing up again? His dad knew what he was up to? Most likely. Thank you for all your help! Sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else. glad you ended it. I bet he was about to start asking you for cash too!
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