Do I tell him how much Ive missed him in a letter? Need Help? Confused?

[sally1530]

Okay, so I found my husband to be on lavalife with a profile and picture emailing 3 girls. 3 days later he cancels the wedding which was supposed to take place in 28 days from this event. He said he couldnt trust me and I couldnt trust him anymore. He said he would pay for the entire wedding, he wrote me a check for $11,000 and I paid the vendors, etc. and just about broke even. I even gave him back the ring of $3,000. Anyway we were pretty bitter at each other and sent a few nasty grams to each other and I have regretted what I have said... I didnt mean them but didnt want him to think that I missed him and couldnt be happy without him. I played hard to get and said I found someone else , when I really didnt... He said not to contact him anymore. I feel like I have done something wrong. How do I correct this? should I write a letter a risk telling him how much I miss him and still love him.... even after all he has done to me? Or cut my losses and forget about what he thinks of me.

 

Help? Dont know what to do....

[tattoomytoe]

Just greive and get back singles Fun-wagon!!!

 

it will be difficult, but do not talk, write, email, text, anything!!! if HE calls...do not answer the phone, you can read the emails, listen to the messages, but do not sway!

[sally1530]

Really, I just wonder if he knew how I really felt he might change his mind and we would have another chance.... but maybe I stupid for wanting and thinking that... its been 3 months and I still miss him and think about him everyday....

[tattoomytoe]

i am sure he knows, i mean you were gonna MARRY the guy....he didn't seem too interested, as he had his face plastered on the web.

 

who knows, he may even have it up there still. this is not the type of guy you want, a liar, thank goodness he had some decency to help you pay for the wedding stuff, but that was probably the last bit he had left.

 

and it will more than likely be hard for a couple more months, or even a year...but it gets easier everyday.

 

chin up, breasts out, and smile ")

[sally1530]

Hes mad at me and is asking me to pay 1/2 the costs of the wedding, he thinks it was half my fault.... hello, im not the one with the profile and picture up.... and Im not the one who was lying and being dishonest..before our wedding. Hes still tying to make me feel like its my fault that I didnt give him enough attention... which I dont think was the case... I guess im mad that he thinks its my fault... hes acting like the victim and hes not... it kind pisses me off.

[tattoomytoe]

heck no do not pay for half!

 

and he acts like this jerk-off, that he so blatantly IS, and you Still want to write him...NOOOOOO..do not !

 

that will just fuel his fire, so to speak, on this guilt trip he is putting you through. Quit communicating with him NOW!!!!!

[Bubbles]

Listen to me sally1530! Imagine you two get married and a year later you find out that he's had a little fling with a little whore on Lavalife.

Was it worth it? That's even worse than him messaging. You are extremely lucky that you found out early in the game! You are one of the lucky ones!

 

If he does it once he will do it twice. Trust ME.

 

What you miss are the good things about him and how you wanted him to be "The One" well......no-one can blame you for that! We have all fallen in love with some-one and thought that they were "The One" and they turned out to be "Exactly The WRONG One"

 

I am guilty twice.

 

Keep your chin up........it ALWAYS gets better than today and yesterday!

 

 

Bubbles

[sally1530]

You both are right... I didnt send him a email...I wrote it and yesterday and then deleted today... maybe I just needed to vent. I know no matter what I say to him at this point it will not change his mind about me, and well im just tired of trying to convince him that we are right for each other. He made me feel like I wasnt good enough for him and that I over reacted and violated his trust by looking at his emails.. Yes i shouldnt have done that, I have really learned my lesson...but I never thought in a million years he would be doing what he was doing... I was so shocked and hurt. Its been 3 months and it still hurts... I guess because it made me feel like I wasnt enough or wasnt good enough for him... Im a very pretty gal (not be conceided) but Im very attractive , very good shape and nice bikini body... thats why I find it hard to believe he would do that... I look back at all the nasty comments he made to me and well I guess our relationship was doomed from the start...I mean I always felt like I was walking on egg shells with him, he wanted me to open up to him more and I did and then he would use that information against me and analize me.... it sucked. I am dating other people now and well I think its time to give up the hope that we could end it nicely. Maybe this is his only way of dealing with his mistakes... I mean hes 38 and only had 3 one year relationships in his life... he terminates them after a year. Maybe I need to start looking at this as a blessing...and not my fault like he is trying to do... he thinks hes perfect and his ego is so big, it makes me sick.

[tattoomytoe]

Amen Girl! you are so right! You are awesome! you are Beautiful, you are strong!

 

We are here to help you vent and make healthy choices for yourself!