mgrent Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 So my boyfriend and I had a great relationship.We both respected and loved each other very much. I met his family, they liked me, he met mine they liked him. We were together for a year and a half and met in college. To give you some background info, his mother was a drug addict and abandoned him when he was younger, and the last relationship he had had consumed himself in the relatinship, moved cross country, but it didnt work out because he said he got tired of being unappreciated. He was younger then, and spent two years single before meeting me. But one day, he called me and just broke up with me. He said that he doesn't deserve me, and that he didnt know if he wanted to be with me. He cried the whole time, and after 4 hours of being on the phone, I had to hang up because he couldnt do it. I didn't understand why he was breaking up. It didn't make sense. I confronted him about his abandonment issues with his mother, and he broke down. The next day, he called me and said he made a mistake, he loved me, didnt want to leave me, so we got back together 3 weeks after the inital break up, he comes over to my house, and we end up going to the grocery store. I was telling him about where I want my career to go, and was scared because of the cost of education, and that although I appreciate my job, didn't like it. He then asked how long I was working at my job, and I replied 7 years. His response was "Damn and you still havent moved up?" I took offense to the comment and ignored him. When I got home, I freaked out because I was scared of failure from school and job. I took a walk around the block to clear my mind to rationally explain my fears to him, but he left my house to go back to his house. I didnt understand. He kept telling me "I'm leaving" and was upset. I asked him to come back so we can talk and explained why I went out for a walk. He said "I'm leaving and maybe Im just not the man you need, or maybe Im just not ready for a relationship" and hung up. Two days later, I sent a text saying "I hope we get the chance to talk because it really weighs heavy on me how things were left." He replies back saying "me running back and forth and having confusion on what I really want isn't healthy for the both of us. I care enough about you to let you go. I need to figure myself out and fight whatever it is that holds me back, and I am questioning whether I am in or out of this relationship. Thi is the second time where I have been iffy about this relationship or about myself. Would you want a man who cant be there for you right now? Would you want a man who you have to worry about if he is going to flip flop and run? You dont seserve that." When I asked him if in his heart of hearts if he truly wanted to leave me he replied, "I have to. I hurt you enough." I dont know what to make of this and am totally confused being this came out of the blue. I thought everything was great..He now has taken me off his gmail chat, and everything..completely shuttig me out...Am I missing something?
mpa Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 It seems to me that he has issues to work through on his own, and it has nothing to do with you. Hopefully he gets himself into counseling (if he isn't already) and starts to confront whatever this is. You don't want to keep doing this on and off, back and forth relationship. It's not fair to either of you in the long run.
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