Author Silly_Girl Posted September 1, 2012 Author Posted September 1, 2012 What's a shart ? It's a fart, but with er... substance. 2
It's Just Me Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 It's a fart, but with er... substance. Or a fart with LOADS of dignity. 2
Els Posted September 1, 2012 Posted September 1, 2012 You're in the honeymoon stage, as far as I can see (mine usually last anywhere from 6 months to a year), and the key thing is... there's NOTHING wrong with that! Take things as they come and enjoy each day, hon. There is no purpose in needing to know right NOW whether or not he's good for the long haul. These things usually unfold naturally as the relationship progresses. The honeymoon stage is a great and wonderful part of that. Don't take it for granted. 1
Radagast Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 This is such new territory for me. A relationship like this. And whoever someone has said 'we never argue' to me, I IMMEDIATELY think "hidden resentments!!! buried issues!!! conflict avoidance!!!" So I wondered whether, just for peace of mind and I'm killing time before I collect my son from his friend's, whether this resonates with anyone, either in a good way or bad way. And also any points that I might have missed. We're all led by emotions to some degree, but in the past I've let my emotions colour a situation. And I've known it, truth be told. Although I have strong feelings now, I also have my little excel checklist at the back of my mind and rationally, all is fine, but I feel as though I'm no judge any more! In the eight years my wife and I have been together we've never had a row either. We've confronted a number of challenges during that time, and of course we've had differences of opinion, but our style is more "discuss to death" than swords and pistols. From my previous marriage I developed an unhealthy style of simply accepting the blame for everything, even the weather, since my ex-wife would not rest until she'd established that it was all my fault, whatever "it" was, and even then the recriminations wouldn't cease but at least I could withdraw into wounded silence and hope the raging aggression would stop. My wife is very different from my ex-wife in approach though and "blame" never features, it's always about "what are we going to do to solve XYZ" rather than who caused it. Which as a man appeals to my natural problem-solving mode, so it works well for us. Your boyfriend may have developed different conflict resolution skills from his previous relationships and may also be orientated to fixing problems rather than shouting about them. As may you. I wouldn't worry too much about it. it will happen in its own time if it's going to happen, and until then, bask in the happiness of your "honeymoon phase". 1
Author Silly_Girl Posted September 4, 2012 Author Posted September 4, 2012 I really appreciate the responses, thank you. I guess what I was worried about - and this came to me so much more clearly as I was talking to my fella about it - is: IS THIS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE? Because it feels it; honestly, I pinch myself daily. And because I recently had a bit of a crisis of confidence in terms of trusting my instincts in relationships, I wanted a bit of reassurance. I have never had a 'honeymoon phase' before. There had always been some/lots of conflict early on, and with my ex-husband we were best friends first so didn't really have a honeymoon phase. It's bloody brilliant innit?!?!?! :bunny:
xxoo Posted September 4, 2012 Posted September 4, 2012 I really appreciate the responses, thank you. I guess what I was worried about - and this came to me so much more clearly as I was talking to my fella about it - is: IS THIS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE? Because it feels it; honestly, I pinch myself daily. And because I recently had a bit of a crisis of confidence in terms of trusting my instincts in relationships, I wanted a bit of reassurance. I have never had a 'honeymoon phase' before. There had always been some/lots of conflict early on, and with my ex-husband we were best friends first so didn't really have a honeymoon phase. It's bloody brilliant innit?!?!?! :bunny: Silly, I still sometimes wonder if my relationship is too good to be true--and it's been over 20 years That isn't to say that we haven't had challenges (we have!), but the love we share has been so constant, and so solid, throughout it all, and I wonder how I got so lucky. Bliss is not a warning sign. Rather, people ignore warning signs when they are otherwise in bliss. If there really are none, then......enjoy!!! 2
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