Crushed!! Married his ex less than 5 weeks after our BU!!!

[generouswoman]

My ex and i practically lived together for a year. We spent all our time together from taking me to run any errands, or shopping or to appointments, to hanging out with our friends and family, cooking dinner together and sleeping together each night.

 

After a year, on july 5th he told me had confused feelings for his ex in his home country, which turned into him feeling that he was inlove with both of us. But then told me he wanted to stay with me. Even tho he "chose" me, i broke up with him (friday) aug13th and told him to make sure im really what he wanted. He's 24, I'm 26 and his ex is 20. He begged and begged to be with me, nonstop texts and calls and telling me he wanted everything in life with me.

 

Three days later that next monday he told me that the exs family found out that he slept with her a year and a half earlier and they were pulling her out of college and throwing her out of their house, she had a month to find a place to go. He said he felt responsible for ruining her future and would help her anyway she wanted because he convinced her to sleep with him. I know that had a long relationship of 3 yrs but that they didnt know each other quite so well. He use to see her in hiding, has never spent much time with her because they were forbidden to see eachother, she was rich and he was poor. Only reason im giving details is because i think hes going to regret this and quickly.

 

He let her come here to live with him on aug8th in his AUNTS house where they have no privacy, and his aunt "forced" them to get married in order to stay living in her house. Only 5 days after she arrived, they got married at city hall. i dont for a moment believe he had to, i dont even think he had to fly her here to help her, he wanted to try things out with her. Shes always been forbidden to him and now they can do whatever they want. I just figure that he is going to get tired of her and fast. She cant work, she has no family or friends here, just him and his friends/family. She stays home all day waiting for him to get back from work. She knows he works with his ex girlfriend (me). He now cannot afford to go to school next month as he planned because he now needs to give her money for her hair, nails, clothes, food, etc that she is use to.

 

It sounds like such a bad idea to me at least. he was definitely thinking short term gratification, I know he didnt think this through at all. I want to believe that he feels this was forced onto him and that he otherwise would have stayed with me. And i know that if he told me he regretted his choices, that i was the one for him, id take him back, after he puts some work in of course.

 

What are the chances he will back out and want me back after a quick city hall marriage to a girl he wasnt use to 24/7?? i know he betrayed me when this happened, but during our relationship he was very good to me and i was my happiest. What do you guys think??

[KatZee]

I think his family has way too much influence over him and his personal life. He's now officially married. There's really not much you can do anymore. He was with her 3 years, he did admit to loving her... who knows what he's thinking. You can only speculate. Either way... he's now married to another woman. You need to start moving on.

[8mia8]

What country/culture are you talking about (your ex and his new wife)? I think that's more important in this situation than how your ex got into a marriage.

 

In many countries/cultures, blind arranged marriages work (I know this isn't the particular situation here) because they respect it. It doesn't matter that there was a lack of contact.

[generouswoman]

He's from the dominican republic, in the caribbean. I know they ae officially married, but under the circumstances i guess i dont care much. no ring, no engagement no wedding, just a piece of paper so that they can live under his aunts roof. I know i should move on for my own sanity in case he never turns around to say what i want. regardless he is with her now and they live together

 

I think maybe hed come back, he texted at first telling me he missed me when she was here, and trying to explain why he had to get married. and that he still loves me and wishes he hadnt brought her but he did.

[Radu]

He's always gonna be captive to his society.

 

That poor girl.