in_the_shadow Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 Hi everyone, I met this great guy on a chatroom about 3 months ago and we seem to hit if off. We decided to exchange personal email addresses to stay in touch. Things seem to be going great. We share the same values and opinions. We exchanged photos and we really like what we saw. Basically, he is my type and I am his. Needless to say, we fell in love instantaneously and decided to be in a relationship. But I cant help but wonder if we are doing the right thing: 1) We havent met before - not even on webcam cause he doesnt have one. Being two high school students ourselves, it is almost impossible to fork out thousands of dollars to purchase air tickets to meet each other. 2) We dont email or chat everyday With the time difference (10+ hours) and our hectic school schedules, chatting (voice chat as well) on MSN everyday is a great feat. But when we do chat, we never fail to tell each other how much we miss each other and we much we really want this to work out, etc. I know many people would tell me to end this LDR because two high school kids know nothing about love and sacrifice. But I am really fussy when it comes to boys and I have never encountered someone like him before. Having said that, what should I do? Thanks, LoveShack!
HeavenOrHell Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 Welcome to LS You'd need to meet first to know if it could ever work out. Have to say though that the odds are stacked against you, with that amount of distance, if you can't actually afford to meet up, how will you ever meet and how would things progress? You really need to spend plenty of time WITH someone so you can bond together as a couple. Also the time difference and both of you being very busy doesn't help. Things can seem very exciting and enthusiastic in the first year, but reality sets in when you realise how hard things are, especially if there's no end in sight/no plans to move, and obviously you can't make those sort of plans until you've actually spent a considerable amount of time in each other's company But if you think you can give it a go, you need to start saving up to meet each other, he needs to get a webcam, they can be very cheap. You need to communicate as much as you can in whatever ways possible. LDR's really don't suit everyone. It's really up to you both if it works out or not, by how much you are prepared, or able, to put into it. Wishing you luck! Hi everyone, I met this great guy on a chatroom about 3 months ago and we seem to hit if off. We decided to exchange personal email addresses to stay in touch. Things seem to be going great. We share the same values and opinions. We exchanged photos and we really like what we saw. Basically, he is my type and I am his. Needless to say, we fell in love instantaneously and decided to be in a relationship. But I cant help but wonder if we are doing the right thing: 1) We havent met before - not even on webcam cause he doesnt have one. Being two high school students ourselves, it is almost impossible to fork out thousands of dollars to purchase air tickets to meet each other. 2) We dont email or chat everyday With the time difference (10+ hours) and our hectic school schedules, chatting (voice chat as well) on MSN everyday is a great feat. But when we do chat, we never fail to tell each other how much we miss each other and we much we really want this to work out, etc. I know many people would tell me to end this LDR because two high school kids know nothing about love and sacrifice. But I am really fussy when it comes to boys and I have never encountered someone like him before. Having said that, what should I do? Thanks, LoveShack!
Eclypse Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 Hi, you need to tell him to get a webcam ASAP. Even a ****ty $10 one will do. I wouldn't continue to be emotionally invested in a relationship until you get to see him in real time. When I was 18 I was in a online relationship with a girl I met on WoW. But her cam never "worked". I fell for all her lies and tricks. Three months later just before I bought a train ticket to go to her state to see her I was able to find out through some snooping that her pics were not who she really was. 3 years later I'm still bitter about it. So make sure you see his face and know it's him first. Otherwise... I dunno. LDR is long and complicated and lonely. Personally I would never do it again. If you think you can survive, kudos to you. But the girl I am with now I see twice a week and let me tell you that is much more fulfilling than pining away for months or years over someone you've never met.
Radu Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 OP ... i'm gonna try to put myself in your parent's shoes, not a parent myself. YES, GOD DAMN YES ... i would love for my HS daughter to have a LDR bf, as opposed to a local one that could get her pregnant. You are young, in HS, you are still experimenting with relationships, go for it.
justwhoiam Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 What if he's an old man lying to you? Or worse? You can't start a LDR like that. I heard bad stories on people just sending pics... Like a woman who said she was single and sent around hot pics, when in reality she was married, 280 lbs, 40 something and with 3 kids... No kidding. These stories are not uncommon.
GuyInLimbo Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 9,000 miles away and you are in HS? No way. And, please, don't say you are in love when you haven't spent time with someone for a while face to face. I know from (bad) experience, there's a lot you just don't know about this person. People with social/mental issues tend to gravitate towards chat rooms and such for a reason. But being face-to-face with them is entirely different. I think you may be lonely and this guy has said the right things to make you feel special. My STRONG advice to you is to end it now and get out of the house. These situations rarely end in a long-term happy deal. And assuming you are in another continent, how in god's name are you going to see each other on a regular basis? And, again, you are in high school. You're stepping into something that has the potential of really messing with your emotions. Get out and date. Hang out with your friends. get out of the chat rooms. You have no idea how much life you are missing out on. (And, again, this is someone who spent a good portion of his 20's in chat rooms, etc. , establish a damaging LD/LTR with someone 3,000 miles away and would not do it again if given the chance to repeat those years.)
Recommended Posts