wsr Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 My ex girlfriend left me 3 months ago. We were together for 3 years. At the time of breakup she was 21 and I'm 25. She sighted reasons like she thought she would be happier on her own. We had a couple of rough weeks before hand but it was nothing I thought we couldn't work though. Fast forward three months. During this time we have had minimal contact. I have never called or text her, I have left her to it. I saw her about a month and a half later, I text her saying it was nice to see her and if she fancied taking the dogs for a walk, she said no not at the moment, I don't want to give you the wrong impression. I have found out she has been out partying alot in a bigger town with one of her mates and she is nearly always over there. I sent her a letter about 3 weeks ago, it was really nice, not soppy but all I got back was one text message saying it was really nice but she was really happy. The thing is I can't understand how she can treat me like I don't exsist or our relationship didn't mean anything. I'm not looking for advice, I'm just wondering if anyone has had a similar situation, how they came through it or did she come back? I have not hounded her but she has never come back and all i hear is she is happier. Makes me feel like a bit of a failure.
Author wsr Posted August 31, 2012 Author Posted August 31, 2012 I thought I should add, I'm very cut up about this and love her very much. Her family all miss me, but she doesn't make any effort with me at all. I feel cut out and I miss her. My dad and friends say I have done enough and if she was going to come back she would have done so by now or showed at least some interest. She has been talking to one of my mates about me.
heartbroken26 Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 After break ups most people go out and party! I did! Sounds like she just wanted to do something she wasn't able to do while with you. Being single is a celebration for a young girl. You say she's 21, that's the age that most girls want to start drinking, partying, just getting wasted. It's not going to last. When I turned 21 I partied my butt off and wished I was single. She just wants to have fun right now and if she truly cared for you then she would realize that you were not worth giving up. I gave up on partying at 22 and went back to my bf because he made me happier than the club scene. I suggest you let her do her thing because if you don't she will resent you in the future. You never want to hold anyone back. Also, stop sending her messages. Make her miss you. Go out to the city and party too. Show her that you moved on too.
Author wsr Posted September 2, 2012 Author Posted September 2, 2012 I do not contact her in any form any more. I am tired of the rejection to be honest. She will be 22 later this month and she has been away from me for over three months now with little to almost no contact. I feel like im dead to her. Some people say she isn't coming back, others say give it time. As every day goes past it slips away and im honestly lost. I love her to pieces but can't show her. I have been working on myself, trying new things, going out but its not really me at this stage of the game. Im doing it because I have to, otherwise I mope. Did you actually spilt up when this came along? I would hope she comes back, im a nice guy and she is a nice girl, we were a good couple and our break up shocked a lot of people. I dunno what to do, but nothing at all. Its not very encouraging to be feeling like I don't even exist to her. Hurts
Dblock10 Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 I do not contact her in any form any more. I am tired of the rejection to be honest. She will be 22 later this month and she has been away from me for over three months now with little to almost no contact. I feel like im dead to her. Some people say she isn't coming back, others say give it time. As every day goes past it slips away and im honestly lost. I love her to pieces but can't show her. I have been working on myself, trying new things, going out but its not really me at this stage of the game. Im doing it because I have to, otherwise I mope. Did you actually spilt up when this came along? I would hope she comes back, im a nice guy and she is a nice girl, we were a good couple and our break up shocked a lot of people. I dunno what to do, but nothing at all. Its not very encouraging to be feeling like I don't even exist to her. Hurts you have to just put her behind you, she is clearly doing so and has no intention of reconciliation. it will be her that has to decide she misses you, so bow out graciously while you can and really focus on you. seems to be a very typical thing to happen when girls are early twenties 1
Author wsr Posted September 2, 2012 Author Posted September 2, 2012 The problem is, everyone says at the moment. To be honest, we couldn't get back together at the moment anyway. She clearly isn't through this phase of her life. I want her back so much. I wouldn't say a reconciliation is impossible, heck all of my friends seem to of been in this situation and their exs came back in the end. Its just dragging for me thats all.
atarisboy86 Posted September 3, 2012 Posted September 3, 2012 Hey WSR welcome to the boards! I'm in a similar situation to you. I am 25 and my ex is 23. She was a party type of girl and loved to party when she met me and in the beginning of our relationship. She stopped because I told her that phase of my life is over. When we have communicated post breakup she tells me how she goes out every weekend and loves the freedom she has now that she isn't with me. I've started NC and I think you should as well and maintain it. I found out my ex was also hooking up with some guy quickly after the breakup. You say the two of you aren't compatible at the moment...keep tha mentality. She chose that lifestyle over you. Plain and simple. And while some of us here on LS are sad and missing out ex's...they are drinking and getting sex from new people they have met. Sorry to be harsh but do you want sloppy seconds? Focus on yourself and with time the feelings will fade and you will see things clearer.
Author wsr Posted September 4, 2012 Author Posted September 4, 2012 This party stuff has come on since I have been gone, this is a very different lifestyle for her. It's hard to understand it because we were a happy couple and now she treats me like some ghost. I keep moving but miss her
Recommended Posts