Marine0311 Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 Well, I posted about a week ago because I was confused/upset about my girlfriend seeming distant. Last night, we broke up. We are long distance and it was not a bad breakup, but seemed more mutual. She was telling me how this was too hard and I agreed and we told each other we love each other, but we can't go on anymore and called it quits. It killed me, but I feel like I did the right thing. She is in college during her freshman year playing college soccer. She is in a new life and I love her/support her so I believe giving her freedom will help her grow up/ have less stress because of me being gone in the Marines/ LDR/etc. I love this girl and want to marry her one day, I knew that if I didn't let her go we'd end up fighting a lot and end up hating each other. I rather lose her now and hopefully be able to get her back in the future when our lives are starting to settle. Do you think I made the right choice, because I'm crushed right now. I cried all day today throughout work, losing her was losing my best friend. It sucks Now I'm confused because she texted me tonight asking me to send her this picture, she acted like everything was just fine. I don't know wether I should go NC or continue to talk to her (I feel like if I do, I'll just get friendzoned eventually while she's at college meeting new guys). As of now my plan is to go nc and move on and focus on saving money(I want to open a surf shop when I get out of the Marines). I have a few questions though, should I stay NC or be friends with her(I'll be absolutely crushed when I find out she's with somebody new). I am crushed, it hurts so much knowing I am losing my best friend and girlfriend. I know she's in a new place with new people and that's why she doesn't want to be with me anymore, but I'm hoping she'll realize how great we had it and will miss me I the future. I know not to expect it, but it's hard not too. Any advice on what to do?
dannykeyz831 Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 Hey man props to you for recognizing the situation and being man enough to do the right thing. At this particular time of your life and her's as well, you just aren't ready for each other but by the sound of of things, seems like you both really love each other. For that very reason, there is definitely a chance for reconciliation somewhere down the road. Long distant relationships are tough man trust me but trust me, if you were to have stayed with her, their would have been way more hurt than what you're feeling now. Do keep in touch with her so that she knows that you still love her and continue to do so. Just let things be for now and the rest will take care of itself with a positive outcome. Good luck!
Author Marine0311 Posted August 31, 2012 Author Posted August 31, 2012 Thank you. Anybody else have any advice or anyone been in a situation like this before? I go into the field for 2 weeks, so Thatll keep me focused. I'm going to text her in a few weeks just to see how soccer is going and such. Im hoping space/ freedom will make her realize what she had with me, but I'm worried maybe she'll like it more. The only relief I have is taking the mature route and feeling good about the way I handled this situation
lil hoodlum Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 First of all, thank you for your service. Second, you need to take care of yourself first. Your safety is your top priority. Third, I really hate to say this, you just need to let her go! I think you will end up driving yourself crazy wondering what she's up to etc. Going to college is a new and exciting time for most students. She likely doesn't have to answer to anybody now and will have time to explore new things in a new city, with new friends. She will be making new experiences with new folks. I'm sure she will miss you alot and you likely will be on her mind. Do yourself a favor and go out like a gentleman and in a respectful way. She will think positively about that. If and when she contacts you just be positive and upbeat. I read your other thread about the relationship the two of you shared. It sounds like it was a good one. She likely will think positively about it and about you.
Author Marine0311 Posted September 1, 2012 Author Posted September 1, 2012 Thank you for the response.. Yes, I love her dearly and I figured if I begged and pleaded I'd make myself look weak and pathetic. If she talks to me again I plan on being vague, but not negative, just kind of keep her wondering what my life has been like. I won't bring up getting back together or anything. Its hard, but Ive been keepig myself busy.. I dont want a thig to do with new girls though so its goingto be hard
Author Marine0311 Posted September 3, 2012 Author Posted September 3, 2012 Okay, so I need some help or advice on what to do! She has been liking basically all of my photos I post on an iPhone app called instagram. Also, on Facebook she still is interactive with my mom, brothers, and brother's gf! We dont speak at all except she texted me two days ago telling me how she found a USMC bulldog pillow pet.. I responded saying "haha ooorah" and she never responded. Todaynshentexted me saying how scored a few goals in her game, I responded positively telling her congrats and how I told her shed do good in the season (she was also worried shed play bad come season time and I'd always be positive and tell her how she'll go great). She never answered after that. This is the second time she did this.. Now, should I just stay NC or when things like this happen should I continue to be positive and still show her support? I know her and I getting back together isn't realistic especially because she is so busy with soccer/college (her mom told me that she barely speaks to her because she'll just blow her mom off the phone claiming she's so busy.. Like what shendidmtoo me).. I just love her and want to be with her in the future, therefore I feel like when she does contact me just continue to be confident and positive and very short. I go out a lot and am very happy with my life and job as a Marine. Me being so content with my life is what is helping me get through this breakup logically rather than rationally! I just want to have this girl in my future and I feel like as long as I give her the space she will eventually realize how much she misses me when thenglamour of college fades away. Part of me wants to say forget her though because why should I be okay with being put on the back burner while she does her thing. But then I realize that's selfish because her dream was to play college soccer and i truly believe once she gets into a flow of things it'll workout for us hence why I don't ignore her when she talks to me. Maybe I'm just blinded in love and my theory is complete BS.. Can I hear some opinions and if you believe something that I may not like to hear tell me anyway! I'm a Marine I'm used to hearing things I don't want to hear!
Author Marine0311 Posted September 10, 2012 Author Posted September 10, 2012 I was just hoping to get some, idk, I guess posting here comforts me a little because I don't have anyone to talk to this about. We have been no contact, but today I got word I'm deploying to Afghanistan in January. I texted her and told her and she responded I'm busy I can't talk. It just hurts to know that a girl can just forget you that easily when she was so in love with you. I don't know if I'll get a response from anybody here, but thanks for reading whoever does. I'm hoping in a few months I'll be healed up and forgetting her. It hurts slot too know she is probably with other guys at college. If anybody can give me some advice that'd awesome. We're nc, I don't look at her Facebook or anything, and I'm trying hard to move on but she's always on my mind!
Sooners86 Posted October 14, 2012 Posted October 14, 2012 Hey Marine, I am going through the same exact thing, and it's the hardest experience I've ever had. I met my ex-gf in college last year and she was a huge part of the greatest year of my life. She is the only girl I've ever said "I love you" to, despite her being my fourth gf, because she is the only love I've ever known. We just broke up last week after she made a surprise visit to me last weekend on my birthday. When I saw her standing there I couldn't even process the joy--it was one of the best moments in my life. We had a wonderful weekend, but it ended with tears like every one has. We've been having a long distance relationship since the end of school last year, but she had frequently voiced concerns because she was always sad and missing me. I tried to hold on and be positive, but she has two more years of school before we could ever be together again, and she realized that it was a terrible way to live. I can't say I blame her, I just was able to deal with it differently and be excited for our future. She called my crying every night this past week until we had the tearful breakup. I tried so hard to cheer her up every time. She's often said how she imagines our future together--our house, dogs, kids, and I've said she's the one for me too, but the long distance and serious depression after visits was unsustainable given how long it would have to be for and during what should be the best years of her life. It's really too sad when two people love each other with all their hearts but it gets too difficult. She asked that I not be a big part of her life for a while, and that we restrain from the friendship for a while since it will only remind her. I know she's the one I want to marry, and I, like you, can't figure out whether to eliminate her from my mind for protection in case she moves on, or to hold on for the future. We've promised each other to give it another shot once she graduates, and her best friend has said she will force us to, but I'm afraid of holding on in vain. I've been reading all these threads to figure it out, and it seems like people say no contact is the way to go. Apparently it's the only way when you're dealing with girls like we are. I'm so afraid of one of us forgetting though. I appreciate your service, and sincerely hope you can reconnect sometime in the future, if for no other reason than to prove to me it can work.
Author Marine0311 Posted October 14, 2012 Author Posted October 14, 2012 @Monica... Yup I'm a grunt and proud of it haha, thank you for the advice. Things got real sour between us. We would talk a few times a week, she always insisted contact, but last week she texted me telling me I'm a dog and to **** off. Idk what I did and have not tried or will not try to contact her again. It sucks but hey nothing I can do especially being so far away from home. I'll be back home in the end of November but shell be away at school, so I doubt well reconcile before I deploy. It sucks
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