klw1905 Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 Who's all heard from there exes? How did the conversation go? What did you learn?
youngnlove89 Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 (edited) Who's all heard from there exes? How did the conversation go? What did you learn? Yes. I hear from him a lot actually. But my ex-bf is very confused and unavailable. He is off and on, hot and cold. It's actually a horrible thing for me. One moment he will tell me how I am the only girl he ever cared for his much and then the next moment he will tell me I just don't have "those" feelings for you. (He is 28 by the way) Last night he told me he misses me, today he tried to say "hi" but I just don't know what he wants from me. He says he wants to be friends, but doesn't know how he will be able to not want to do more. He is the one who decided that we both want different things. If anything it sets me back from moving on. He doesn't want me to have sex with anyone else, he says that would hurt him and he can't even fathom the pain. He doesn't want me out of his life, he loves me yada yada. Then he will cuddle, kiss, hold my hand, while we are just hanging out. It's like WHAT DO YOU WANT, MAKE UP YOUR MIND. All these mixed emotions/signals definitely makes it harder. You're lucky if you are one of the many who gets ignored by a dumper. I wish I did. Edited August 31, 2012 by youngnlove89
blue_jay_bird Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 I haven't heard a peep. Which is so cold/dry. I guess i should feel lucky cause i would not like to be going through what youngnlove89 is going though. But what i have learned from others is sooner is not better. I know you want to hear from your ex. But you have to grow and become confident. 1
youngnlove89 Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 I haven't heard a peep. Which is so cold/dry. I guess i should feel lucky cause i would not like to be going through what youngnlove89 is going though. But what i have learned from others is sooner is not better. I know you want to hear from your ex. But you have to grow and become confident. We all want to hear from our ex, even me. It's a good feeling to know they are thinking about you. But you know what? We only want to hear from them to get back our power. We want them to miss us, because we are deeply missable. But just remember, they left us. And they are choosing everyday not to be with us. Just because they keep in contact, does not mean they want you back. I'm proof. They just feel guilty and lonely. We were familiar and comfortable to them. Our ex's know how to get us back if they wanted to. They know where we live, they know our numbers, they know all they have to say is, "babe, I love you and I made a mistake but I want to spend the rest of my life proving to you how wrong I was about leaving you" But they won't. They never will.
mpa Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 My ex broke up with me 3 months ago. The only time I've been in contact with him was to exchange the rest of our things. The meeting was very polite and cordial, but it killed me to see him, so I'm not about to put myself in a position to feel like that again. Neither of us have been in touch since, and even though part of me wants it to work out and live happily ever after with him, I know that's not going to happen. I think I've learned more in my reflection on the relationship and myself than I would from him. He didn't really give a concrete reason for ending things, so I can only assume he doesn't actually know and any conversation with him would not be productive. Unless of course he comes back and says he made a huge mistake, etc etc. Even that though, after all the progress I've made, I don't think it would make anything better.
BewitchedandBothered Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 Who's all heard from there exes? How did the conversation go? What did you learn? Hi! It's been about 2 years; and when it ended, it ended badly. There was nothing good about that relationship and I was bitter for awhile. Then, a few days ago, I got an email that said something like "Hey, it's been a long time; hope you;re well". I replied, as I am in a good place now. Said "Thank you; I'm doing well"--something to that effect. Haven't heard from him since and am quite baffled as to why he would bother as he has a girlfriend. What did I learn...that he contacts his exes when he's bored or quarreling with his g/f. It's sad, really, but that's how he rolls. I have no need for him in my life and no desire to carry on any real conversation with him. When I told a friend of mine; she said "I KNEW he would contact you eventually!"---He HATED me toward the end and I loathed him as well. Now, I feel nothing. Just peace.
PissOfMind Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 (edited) Agree with Bewitched. A few weeks ago I got an fb message from one of my exes that I haven't talked to for almost three years. Absolute NC - which was quite easy to maintain since he has been the most mentally unstable, toxic person I have ever met. We broke up when he found another gf (or an idiot, to be honest). We had a terrible fight during which he offended me beyond belief. I was devastated but after a few months I realised that him disappearing from my life had been a blessing in disguise. And then, bam, after 3 years he is sending me a longish, sentimental message in which he apologizes for his selfish, viscious behaviour and begs me for forgiveness. I replied, ok mate, don't worry. I hold no grudge against you- which was true, believe me! After so much time I really forgot about him and the pain he inflicted upon me. Now I don't give a *** about him at all, so I kindly responded and wished him luck. I thought that would be the end of that, I didn't even think about it anymore. A few days ago he sent me an invitation which I automatically accepted ( I thought: I don't really care). We talked for a while and I realised that he is still the same: unstable, passive-aggresive, a liar to boot. And apparently looking for some fun after he broke up with another gf. I decided that I didn't need such negative energy in my life and if people disappear from your life, it happens for a reason. This reason is a chance for you to engage in more positive relationships. After 10 minutes of "talking" or rather listening to the bull**** he was saying ( he suggested a meeting which was the last thing I wanted), I said goodbye and..defriended him. Flush! No more toxic people. As you can see, those people pop up again at some point (even those you would never expect to apologise or ask for forgiveness), but funnily enough, once it happens, you simply don't care. With time you learn to recognise valuable people and run away from those who have already hurt you. Edited August 31, 2012 by PissOfMind
youngnlove89 Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 I disagree. A good relationship has people as equals. They empower each other. If you're a slut or whore, then yeah, you're going to have power taken away from you to see other people and go have sex with them. Like Marilyn Monroe was a slut. That didn't work for me, so I disagree with you. Then again, I chewed out her mother and raised hell during the day I broke up with her for getting on my nerves. It's surprising, because I tend to be a patient person. But once she started interfering with what was important to me in my life, I got super pissed. I think a lot of the women here are kind of hypocrites, though. They say they were bitter about the breakup. I think that's a logical fallacy. If you disliked the relationship and didn't want to be in it, then you should be glad about it ending, not bitter. And if you're bitter about it, then you obviously liked being with the person. Reminds me of my ex, though. She broke up with me. Then I talked with her, which got us back together. However, she interfered with my education and success by having that drama. So, I broke up with her the next day. And guess what? She was bitter that I broke up with her. lol. Wut? Bitter after she had wanted to break up with me the day before? Sounds like a lot of bull**** all around. Oh dear lord. Not another bashful troll. I agree with this guy who said you were, "....sounds like you are a sandwhich short of a picnic to be honest" and really? "If you're a slut or whore, then yeah, you're going to have power taken away from you to see other people and go have sex with them." I really don't have time to bicker with scum. You are a sour suck on a lemon. Get over yourself.
youngnlove89 Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 now now...... what? I swear I'm a sweetheart!
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