Romin Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Hi everyone! About a week ago, my ex from about a year ago turned up at my house one evening. She wanted to see how my grandmother is as she isn't well, and they always got on. Anyway when she was going, we hugged, and we ended up sharing a kiss. After we didn't really know what to say, and she left, a few minutes after she text me saying "Do you still have feelings for me? I thought I didn't for you but when I hugged you and we kissed, it felt amazing", we both agreed that we would talk about this further down the line, but neither of us want to jump straight back into a relationship, as we both just separated from new partners. I was just looking for some advice her as to what I should do, should I step back and just wait to see what happens? We are going out on Tuesday, because she needs some help in the Apple store at the mall. I just don't want to come across as needy or pushy or some really obsessed guy.
ItsAllOver Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Although I've never really heard of anyone doing this sort of thing, one thing you might try doing is taking a break from each other for a couple of weeks to think about things. Now I know what you're probably thinking - you've already had a year. But things are different now. Unlike that year, both of you now realize that getting back together is a real possibility. So maybe it might be a good idea for both of you to step back and think about whether this is something you both want. Another thing to consider is that, whether of not you decide to take this break, there is certainly no need to jump back into a relationship RIGHT NOW. The two of you can just take things slowly and see where they go. In fact, this might be a better course of action since it will give both of you a chance to build a new relationship rather than trying to continue an old one that didn't work for whatever reason. 1
eMGunslinger Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 Although I've never really heard of anyone doing this sort of thing, one thing you might try doing is taking a break from each other for a couple of weeks to think about things. Now I know what you're probably thinking - you've already had a year. But things are different now. Unlike that year, both of you now realize that getting back together is a real possibility. So maybe it might be a good idea for both of you to step back and think about whether this is something you both want. Another thing to consider is that, whether of not you decide to take this break, there is certainly no need to jump back into a relationship RIGHT NOW. The two of you can just take things slowly and see where they go. In fact, this might be a better course of action since it will give both of you a chance to build a new relationship rather than trying to continue an old one that didn't work for whatever reason. I agree completely, from personal experience. I did this with an ex almost in your situation. She and I hit it off and dated again, problem was we took it way to fast and got very intimately heavy. Remember how you start a relationship slow not just jumping in bed with each other. You have to do that again otherwise the intimacy and love doesn't have time to grow. You just end up in this huge glorified one night stand that goes on for a few months until someone realize there just isn't much there anymore. Take it REAL SLOW slower than you normally would dating someone new and if its ment to succeed then it will. Cheers!
youngnlove89 Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 Hi everyone! About a week ago, my ex from about a year ago turned up at my house one evening. She wanted to see how my grandmother is as she isn't well, and they always got on. Anyway when she was going, we hugged, and we ended up sharing a kiss. After we didn't really know what to say, and she left, a few minutes after she text me saying "Do you still have feelings for me? I thought I didn't for you but when I hugged you and we kissed, it felt amazing", we both agreed that we would talk about this further down the line, but neither of us want to jump straight back into a relationship, as we both just separated from new partners. I was just looking for some advice her as to what I should do, should I step back and just wait to see what happens? We are going out on Tuesday, because she needs some help in the Apple store at the mall. I just don't want to come across as needy or pushy or some really obsessed guy. I'm so happy for you. You were the exception to the rule. So don't ruin it. Take it slow. Start to get to know one another again. And don't jump back into bed right away, although it may be tempting. Since you both have gotten out of relationships, make sure it isn't rebound either. I did this once. Dated an ex-bf after just getting out of a current relationship. I used my ex as a rebound to get over the most recent guy. Make sure her intentions are sincere. GL and keep us updated!
soccerrprp Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 Although I've never really heard of anyone doing this sort of thing, one thing you might try doing is taking a break from each other for a couple of weeks to think about things. Now I know what you're probably thinking - you've already had a year. But things are different now. Unlike that year, both of you now realize that getting back together is a real possibility. So maybe it might be a good idea for both of you to step back and think about whether this is something you both want. Another thing to consider is that, whether of not you decide to take this break, there is certainly no need to jump back into a relationship RIGHT NOW. The two of you can just take things slowly and see where they go. In fact, this might be a better course of action since it will give both of you a chance to build a new relationship rather than trying to continue an old one that didn't work for whatever reason. I was not a big fan of the first suggestion here, but after reading a second time, perhaps it is wise to take a step back and think about whether you do want to get back into a relationship with your ex. My hesitation was whether it was necessary to wait so long and risk losing her feelings all together and whether it suggested NC during this time. I would not recommend NC, LC, but not NC. I'm curious to know why you broke it off in the first place. I really believe that if the reasons for breaking it off are not resolved then getting back will not work for you. I'm going through the same thing. But when we "ended" it earlier this summer, we parted under good circumstances. I went NC with you for 2-months and then she contacted me. There are some things we need to talk about, but nothing that we cannot resolve. So, ask yourself, were the reasons you broke up in the first going to rear their ugly heads when and if you get back together? Are you doomed to repeat the same things as so many (un)reconciled relationships tend to? Do you truly want to get back together?
Author Romin Posted August 31, 2012 Author Posted August 31, 2012 Hey everyone, thanks for the replies! We split up about a year ago, our relationship just kind of imploded, we were rowing a lot. We were together for 2.5 years (roughly). About a month after we split, I had a phone call from her father telling me she has been taken to hospital. Later transpired she miscarried and was 10 weeks pregnant. We did discuss the idea of getting back together last year, however, it never transpired and she entered a rebound relationship, I took a good few months to feel over her and enter a new relationship. I'm worried. You see we are a great couple, but our relationship has already broke down once, and maybe it would be best to just continue as friends. Sounds so terrible but in my brain I got so many thoughts at the moment. I don't really know what to do. I haven't heard from her for a couple of days, and I've told myself I'm going to let her make the moves, as I don't want to come across as pushy. It was her idea to meet on Tuesday.
Recommended Posts