lost_99 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 I wonder all the time… when my life will end, when I will b free frm all this crap... coz I cant bear it anymore now… I wasn’t like this before.. I was a very happy person.. I am 25 now… bt my story starts when I was 19.. I joined university after my high school and things were great… everything was according to the plan.. I was very good at studies, had a lot of frnds.. I loved my family… life was so normal and so wonderful… and then in university I met a guy named eric, a lot of guys used to approach me and I usually ignored them but eric became frnds with my frnd.. he was ready to help me out all the time.. It was so obvious that he liked me and then one day he proposed me.. I refused his proposal at first coz I didn’t have those feelings for him.. and I didn’t know about my future, I didn’t know whether he would be that Mr. right or not.. as throughout my life I used to wonder that there would b only one guy out there for me with whom I can spend my life… I told him that v can just b frnds n not more than that… but after sum time he proposed me again and this time I accepted it.. as v were so young he told me that after completing our studies we will get married. Life was so wonderful at that time…I used to share everything with him… I used to talk to him all night over the phone, I used to go out with him… v had so many mutual frnds and then both of us joined the same office, v both graduated together. I met his family and his family met mine, v had ups and downs but everything was fine.. he was just a bit materialistic.. like when his mom visited my place she didn’t like it… We got engaged when I was 24. We decided everything, we planned everything… except for the fact that I had to organise everything by myslf… as my family was not in a position to afford all the expenses… I used my savings to arrange one… at first I thought that v could have a small function at my home… as my house is really big.. and we could easily arrange everything there bt then he said that he wnt me to renovate my house,, as it wasn’t up to his standards… so I had to book a hall… He asked me for platinum and diamond ring and watch... I was kinda afraid that if I wouldn’t do it his family wouldn’t like it coz few days back on my sister’s wedding her mom lft the wedding without saying bye… according to eric she didn’t like the function, the arrangement was not good and my mother who already met her n asked her whether everything is f9 for like around 3-4 times didn’t introduce her with the extended family… He shouted at me that night… my house was full of guests and I had to lock myslf up in my room I cried all night I asked my mom y she did that… nxt day she called erics mom n apologize for everything… My father was against this engagement.. bt he had to accept it for me… few days aft v got engaged my father got a ph call frm his sister in laws father that you shouldn’t let your daughter marry this guy as this family isn’t right and they r nt treating our daughter well… they don’t let our daughter meet us… my family was really concerned aft that… a few more days aft that v got to know that her sister is also getting divorced… my parents wanted to break this engagement as they didn’t want anything bad happen to me bt I really loved him and I told em that everyone else is wrong… only he is right… and again they couldn’t do anything else… they accepted my decision. After that I got a job in middle east.. I moved here and he had to do masters so he wnt to UK.. we used to talk over the ph every day… I used to miss him a lot …again things were fine, I had a bit of workload but I managed to talked to him 3-4 times in a week… everything was good until one day I asked him when v can get married… I used to ask him this same question for over 2 years and he wasn’t ready for engagement at first but then v got engaged… He wasn’t ready to get married as he didn’t have any job… I found a job for him in my office and asked him that he can join here after completing his masters bt he refused that and said that I am getting desperate. After that I told him that I don’t want to do job after v will get married and he got mad at me n told me that I have to do it as I have to contribute in the expenses afterwards… I tried to talk to him nicely and to resolve the issues bt he yelled at me, he spoke to my sisters and my brother and told them everything that was between us about our issues… he started torturing me, all of my family members were against me… every1 used to call me up n scold me that u r nt behaving well with him… I was so pissed off I even try to commit suicide bt luckily a frnd of mine saw me and save me… When I told him that I attempted suicide his response was that “ok I will do it as well” I knew that he cn never do anything like that so I told him to go for it… aft sum time he called me up and said that u tried to commit a suicide so I have started smoking… Is dat equivalent??? I was so shocked with that kind of behaviour and I was so upset…2 weeks after I tried to commit suicide he told me that he is going to dubai with his family and he wants me to cum there… I told him that I cant and he got mad at me again. I insisted him that he should cum here n visit me and that I will arrange for the visa n everything. I arranged for the visa but instead of booking hotel in my city he booked it in someother city.. I asked him if u r only cumin here to c me y u r booking ur hotel in another city. ( that place was almost 3 hrs drive frm here). I told him that u cnt travel every day dt mch.. bt he said I wont… u hv to cum here to meet me… I didn’t have a car and taxi’s over here are nt that reliable. I tried to xplain him everything bt he started scoldin me…in the end I booked another hotel that is near my house so that he can stay here… My mother came to visit me this March and over here it was diagnosed that she’s having breast cancer. Doctors told us that she should have her surgery as soon as possible. I told him about the surgery and that v have to leave as soon as possible for the surgery bt he got angry I delayed my flight and I showed him the town n stayed with him for 2 days.. in those 2 days I didn’t feel anything for him… I felt as if v r jus frnds and nothing more than that I felt so distant… vn he tried to hold my hnd I flt uncomfortable… he tried to hug me n I couldn’t let him do that… I was just not comfortable with him anymore… I felt so awkward… I didn’t feel anything… v resolved our issues vn he arrived and v decided that v will nt discuss abt those issues again but after some time he started discussing those issues again… he accused me.. There were so many things I tried to reconcile with him but things got worse.. I told him so many times lets forget everything… all the bad memories and lets start on a new note… bt he didn’t listen… I was soo pissed off I brokeup with him… I stopped talking to him but after sometime he started sending me our pictures, old videos, cards… I was soo messed up I gave him another chance and told him that we can start it all over again but I wont discuss these issues… coz I don’t wanna do it again… it will lead us nowhere but he wants to discuss everything… I feel as if he wants to possess me… he is manipulating me… he txt me every day and snd me old msgs n emails and he kinda blkmail me… he wants me to b wid him again but on his terms… m so screwed up I kno once I get bk to him he will treat me in the same way but he is nt letting me go away m soo messed up… its been 9 mnths since these issues are going on n m jus going crazy i jus want to endup this madness plzz suggest me wat should I do….
Hawaii50 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 CUT IT OFF. that's it.. end it. I feel no need to go in to detail about why. Just do it. you aren't happy and he isn't making the sacrifices necessary to help you find happiness. Not sure where you're from, or where he's from, but this whole thing sound like a middle-eastern relationship... and bad.
Mariana345 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Are you willing to read some books? I'm having a hard time and they are giving me so much relieving... you can try, http://www.buddhanet.net/pdf_file/4nobltru.pdf Don't see it as religion (buddhism) but as a philosophy of life it would help you, I promise
Author lost_99 Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 Thx Mariana... n m trying to cut it off but he's not letting me do it... i even changed my cell no but sumhow he managed to get my new no n he calls me 6-7 times everyday... I ignore his calls but he is blackmailing me... and he is so manipulative... he is still in contact wid my bro n sister... Every1 thinks as if m doing sumthing wrong wid him by breakinup with him...
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