ANiceGuy Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Hello LS! This is my first post on here, but I've been browsing on this website for awhile now. Might as well join! Anyways, here's the story: My ex-girlfriend and I dated for 6 months. Before that, we had known each other for 2 years, and became really close friends for about 3 months before we began dating. She was my first long term girlfriend, my first true love, and first with a lot of things. For her, although I wasn't her first boyfriend, she had told me that I was her first true love, and that she had never felt the way she had with me before. Three months ago, she broke up with me, saying that she needed to discover herself, because she realized that for much of high school she hadn't been single. She had been hanging out with this guy (who I could tell was a total player), and began doing things she usually doesn't do... party, drink, etc. For about two months, we had pretty much NC. We saw each other at a party once or twice, and texted a couple times. But aside from that, NC. A month ago, we began talking and hanging out. Turns out that the guy she befriended no longer talks to her, and she realizes now that the whole thing was a mistake. Since both of us are heading off to college (we're one hour away from each other), we didn't want to jump right back into a relationship, only to have it fail in college. I agreed, and so we hung out as just friends a few times. However, one thing led to another, and now we've agreed to act like a couple for one month, until school starts for both of us. This has been going great for both of us... the past couple weeks have been amazing. It's a wonderful thing to have her back in my arms. However, the one thing that's bugging me is college. Once we leave, she wants to cut back the coupley things significantly... we'd only be able to cuddle. She wants us to visit each other every two weeks, and still "try" to see if things will work with us. However, she also wants to date other people, and essentially continue to discover herself. That way, if we eventually get back together, she would know for sure. So basically she wants an open long distance relationship, except we wouldn't be in a full blown relationship. Logically, I agree with her, and since she's my first, I also want to date other people and see what else is out there. But emotionally, I loathe the idea of her with another person, doing the things we once did together. I hate the idea of me being with another girl as well. It just... feels wrong. I understand where she's coming from though. We truly had an amazing relationship... no arguments, no fighting, 100% comfortable with each other. The way things were going would have meant long term commitment, and so I guess before that happens, she wants to explore. Logically, I know that I should too. But at the same time how I feel doesn't agree with my logic. What do you guys think?
lost_99 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Ur girl wants an open long distance relationship... that sounds weird... if she really loves u she wouldnt have suggested that... and if she wants to explore thn u guys should brkup... coz believe me if u cannot think about being with any other girl thn at this point it will hurt u alot if u will stay in this open long distance relationshp...
salmagundi Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 jesus man...take a step back and look at how she is playing you. She will 'allow' you to pretend to be her boyfriend for 'one month'?! What the **** is that? Are you ok with this? To me, you seem more than a little desperate to hang onto any crumbs she will throw you. I know, I've been there. You know why the 'couply' **** has to end when college starts eh? Its because that is when she is going to start looking around for a new man that won't let her push him around. By granting you cuddling privileges she is really saying she will allow you to be her gay boy friend. Sorry if i sound harsh but like I say I've been there before. It infuriates me to see selfish immature women jerk well meaning (albeit too 'nice') guys around like this. But don't worry, you'll grow out of this...
lil hoodlum Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 I think you should just go to your school and have fun meeting other girls and forget about this one. Trust me, you will be meeting a lot of new women. Don't miss any opportunities because you are hung up on your current girl. Sounds like she is planning to go and have fun. I think you should do the same! Good luck and have FUN!!!!! 1
salmagundi Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 jeez...i just realised the op's handle is 'a nice guy...'. there's the problem right there. Do a search on 'nice guys' here on ls and read carefully why that **** never works out...
soccerrprp Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 ANiceGuy, Break it off. You or her will find more pain than contentment in this silly suggestion of hers.
Author ANiceGuy Posted September 1, 2012 Author Posted September 1, 2012 Thanks for the advice everyone
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