Clarice Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Hey, just wanted a bit of advice. I broke up with my ex 2 months ago and we have not spoken since apart from getting keys back etc. I am thinking of contacting him but I don't know if he would want to hear from me or not. Would you wan't to hear from your ex gf again? We broke up due to circumstances and trust issues on my part
BooBoo1982 Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 Hey, just wanted a bit of advice. I broke up with my ex 2 months ago and we have not spoken since apart from getting keys back etc. I am thinking of contacting him but I don't know if he would want to hear from me or not. Would you wan't to hear from your ex gf again? We broke up due to circumstances and trust issues on my part All cases are different. He could be waiting for you to contact him. You won't know unless you try, why do you want to contact him are you looking for reconciliation or just missing him? If you do contact him be honest about your intentions.
Author Clarice Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 I want to be with him so much. I never wanted to split in the first place but my mum had just died and he was texting another girl and instead of trusting him when he said they were just friends I thought he wanted more from her as I was not able to give him the attention he needed. When he left he said he would not contact me as he needed to move on. I messaged him 1 week later and just said "I miss you" which he ignored. I don't want to mess with his head but I am still in love with him
Coyoteloco Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 well my girlfriend dumped me, the situation is pretty different, but for me you should contact him if you still love him maybe talk with him, if it was a trust issue then maybe you guys could work it out. Also i would love the most if my girlfriend called me begging me for take her back, but i dont know how ur situation is.
Author Clarice Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 well my girlfriend dumped me, the situation is pretty different, but for me you should contact him if you still love him maybe talk with him, if it was a trust issue then maybe you guys could work it out. Also i would love the most if my girlfriend called me begging me for take her back, but i dont know how ur situation is. Its the NC thing from his part that scares me. I told him I missed him and he didn't answer. If he wanted to reconcile wouldn't that have been an opportunity to talk? He has posted pics of him on FB looking happy so maybe he is happier without me. He told me he still loved me and he didn't think it would come to this which made me think he didn't want to split either but it's not like he tried to change my mind. Could it be Pride? He is VERY stubborn
Fitnerd Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 He's not responding to your texts because he wants to move on and NC is the fastest way to do so. "I miss you" is not an opportunity to talk, It's just you giving him breadcrumb. I don't know who broke up with whom in your case, but if you want him back, you should make it VERY clear to him.
Coyoteloco Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 well i really want my girlfriend back, but i also went no contact, she messeged me and i wouldnt answer, she called me and i didnt pick up or call her back, but even though i was crazy for getting her back. But then when we finally meet after 1 month of not seeing eachother she tells me how she misses me, how she wants to see me, trys to get my arms around her and i dont let her, and after that i start talking to her, we meet up, and no she didnt want to get back together . . .. maybe i scared her off, maybe i fired my question too soon, she seemed not sure of her decision, i told her to not call me text me or nothing and i really want her back but i dont want to get hurt anymore. So where i go with all of this is that what i needed to ask her for a second chance was her being all over me, asking my friends about me, trying to get into contact with me, and if she calls begging me to take her back, i would take her back or atleast give it a shot and see if we can work it out. I as a man like a women who makes me feel like im the best and only man for her, that would do anything to not loose me, that just proves how much she loves me. But well things with my ex are not like that right now lol and i know she will come in the future but not right now. So take it as you want, i dont got so much experience in break ups, but if you broke up with him, you are the one who should go and make things work.
GorillaTheater Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 He's not responding to your texts because he wants to move on and NC is the fastest way to do so. "I miss you" is not an opportunity to talk, It's just you giving him breadcrumb. I don't know who broke up with whom in your case, but if you want him back, you should make it VERY clear to him. This. Don't play around. Spell it out to him. In the meantime, he's doing just what people here would advise that he do.
Author Clarice Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 I don't want to mess him around or play games with him but I don't want to get hurt either. He was not blameless and there were plenty of times I thought he wanted to leave and a lot of mind games going on to see how much we cared about each other. I honestly believe we were so scared to lose each other that we pushed each other away
ItsAllOver Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 I don't want to mess him around or play games with him but I don't want to get hurt either. He was not blameless and there were plenty of times I thought he wanted to leave and a lot of mind games going on to see how much we cared about each other. I honestly believe we were so scared to lose each other that we pushed each other away Well, seldom are both parties NOT to blame. In any case, it sounds like the reasons for the breakup were not anything HORRIBLE (ie cheating, abuse, etc). So there is certainly a chance that the two of you could get back together. However, from the sound of things, there is a good chance he's either hurting really badly or he has found someone else. If you really want to try to get back together with him, you need to be patient. Maybe try contacting him in a week or so, and see what happens. If he wants to get back together with you, he'll come back. It really just comes down to how badly you want to be with him, because these sorts of things take time.
Greznog Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 I'd only want to hear from her if she desperately wanted me back so I could give her a nice protein rich last meal before kicking her out of my house.
Author Clarice Posted August 30, 2012 Author Posted August 30, 2012 I now realize it was my fear of rejection that drove him away. Do you think he will ever understand that or is it too late?
Xestenz Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 I now realize it was my fear of rejection that drove him away. Do you think he will ever understand that or is it too late? You will never know unless you try. What do you have to lose? As a guy who was dumped about 2.5 months ago, I can tell you that within the first 2 month period if she had come back to me to reconcile I would have done backflips and taken her back with open arms (and our situation was similar in many respects to yours, where things didn't end for a 'bad' reason like cheating or abuse). But now, I've picked myself up and am dating some really cool women already -- and there is already a spark with some of them. And everytime I go out with these women, my ex gets farther and farther in the rearview mirror, to the point now where if she came back I would seriously hesitate. My point in this is if you feel the way you do about it, act now, as the window of opportunity could be closing. Good luck!
StrangeBehaviors Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 Once the "talk" is done, whether initiated by me or them, they are dead to me. I do not wish them bad things, good things, in-between things. It's over. Anyone that would dump and try to weasle back in would only be used.
Author Clarice Posted September 2, 2012 Author Posted September 2, 2012 Well I did it, we are back together! 4
soccerrprp Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 Well I did it, we are back together! Don't screw it up this time! He took you back because he was clearly still enamoured with you and felt the past issues were "fixable."
ItsAllOver Posted September 2, 2012 Posted September 2, 2012 Well I did it, we are back together! I should also say that you need to be patient here. The issues that led to your breakup are still going to be there. And they're probably not going away overnight. The two of you DO need to work on them. And you need to realize that it's going to take time and effort. If you are just going to want to 'jump ship' when things are not resolved as quickly as you think they should be, then there is no point being back together.
Author Clarice Posted September 7, 2012 Author Posted September 7, 2012 Thank you for all your replies and help! We have seen eachother 3 times now and are constantly texting, we have talked more openly and honestly with each other in the past 6 days then we did in the 2 1/2 years we were together! It has been amazing. We both know where we went wrong before and can both FEEL it is different this time. We know what it's like to live without eachother and never want to go thru it again
Exit Posted September 7, 2012 Posted September 7, 2012 If it's what you wanted, then congrats. You may not be able to reel your emotions in, but you need to realize getting back together can create another "honeymoon" period where everything seems great and FEELS different as you just said. Keep your head on straight and work slowly. If you feel you did things wrong last time, keep them in mind. Don't give him a free pass either, I don't know your full story but texting another girl is texting another girl. Hopefully he told the truth that they are just friends. I probably don't have a single girl who I text without at least a little flirting, but I'm single. Good luck please just take it slow and careful and you'll have better success than just thinking everything is awesome and amazing. 1
The_Face Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 Well I did it, we are back together! Congrats! Hopefully I'll be posting the same thing sometime down the road, as I am currently hoping to get back with my ex as well, only I am the dumpee. Anyway, keep us posted on how things go!
leoc1973 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 Clarice I have to ask you. Why did he ignore you the first time? Was he waiting for you to send the I want you back text? My ex sent me a lot of miss you and love you messages and I ignored them because I wasn't going to be played with. Now looking at your story maybe she was trying to get me back and did't wanna throw herself at me. Its long over now but I always wondered if thats what she wanted.
Author Clarice Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 Clarice I have to ask you. Why did he ignore you the first time? Was he waiting for you to send the I want you back text? My ex sent me a lot of miss you and love you messages and I ignored them because I wasn't going to be played with. Now looking at your story maybe she was trying to get me back and did't wanna throw herself at me. Its long over now but I always wondered if thats what she wanted. Well he told me he was 95% there to replying but he just couldn't see any way back even though that's what he wanted. Thing was I sent the "I miss you" text because I missed him. At the time I still blamed him for everything and he knew it! It wasn't until a couple of months later that I realised MY mistakes. I wrote the letter explaining and he said it completely made sense so he could tell I was genuine and it wasn't just a I miss you letter if that makes sense!? Basically we both realised our problems were sortable. There is no need for games and no room for pride in a real loving relationship
leoc1973 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 I agree. She is way too proud to ever let me know she wanted me back and I am too proud to keep putting myself out there. She was the dumper so I figured she should make the first move. we had broken up a few years ago and we were apart for 4 months. she broke up with me back then not really meaning it. It was more of she was trying to get my attention so gave me the "this isn't working" line so I just stopped talking to her. Later when we got back together she told me I was supposed to come running to her and work it out but I just walked away. This time was different because she knows she can't throw those threats around with me so she knew what she was doing this time. But like I said its long ago like a year now and I really miss her but would have to really think about it this time. her and I have the weridest breakups. No talking it out just breaking up and both going NC waiting for the other to break so you are right there is no room in a relationship for that.
Author Clarice Posted September 9, 2012 Author Posted September 9, 2012 Yep that is exactly what we were like. If I hadn't contacted him then I doubt we would have ever spoken again! I am also very proud but this is the rest of my life we were talking about and he is the love of my life so I HAD to swallow my pride. He says he is so glad I wrote to him but I do have to be honest, he just walked away too and I thought he should have fought for me. All he did was prove he didn't love me as much as I loved him or so I thought until I had to take a good look at myself. I do believe love would conquer all if it really is love
leoc1973 Posted September 9, 2012 Posted September 9, 2012 yeah gotcha. I am not going to lie. She is/was the love of my life but she did shoot me down when I mentioned giving it another go. I think she was looking for me to fight for her but at the same time she knows just me asking to make it work is huge for me. She isn't willing to meet me halfway or even a quarter of the way she wanted me to go all the way and give in to every thing. She told me many months later that I was the love of her life and how hard it has been because all she ever wanted was to be married to me. I had some financial problems and she was demanding a ring. She wasn't willing to wait anymore. I don't know if she expected me to rob a jewelry store or something but that is pretty much the reason she left. But I really think 2 people loving each other so much and losing each other is such a tragedy. That is so good for you for swallowing your pride. And I hope you are rewarded with a wonderful relationship for it!
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