youls Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 So what I'm about to say may show that I was in an unhealthy, abusive relationship and that I am this hopeless victim, but I am finding it real hard to let go of this person and move on and I need some advice as to just how to do it or if I should even recontact the person. Many I tried to tell this story to, admit that I fell hard for this guy. Some say it's because it's my first love, but honestly I have had hard crushes on guys before. I'm in my late 30's and I never really had a boyfriend, but when I met this guy online with a long distance between us, we were able to chat online text and use the phone late into the early morning as our use to keep in contact - and that was just a great way to be with somebody when our lives were going on around us. Most of our talks was about sex to him. I wanted to get to know him more and talk about our day to day, but it always resulted to talking about sex though we never really had it. He never seemed to want to get to know me at all. I just thought there was more time or he was just that way. We met once briefly and it was to talk about normal things. Our time was very limited so we couldn't talk more. We live far away and due to costs we never came around to seeing each other. He also made excuses to not care to see me when there might have been opportunity. This went on for about a year. For him, it is very likely he moved on within that year, but stayed in contact almost everyday. For me the relationship was like 3 long grueling years of me chasing a one-sided relationship where he never really seemed to care about me, but abused the fact that I would always come back to him. I tried moving on knowing this was unhealthy - sometimes 2 weeks with NC, but I couldn't stand it anymore so would always text him. He finally put an end to wanting to know me anymore by saying now he was pursuing someone else and that he didn't want anything more to do with me. I was completely heartbroken and hurt and for 6 months of NC, I took revenge on him. He surely contacted me then asking me if it was me who embarrassed him. I didn't reply back. Now it's been 8 months and I just want to see how he's doing. So I anonymously contacted him. But didn't say who I was. What's wrong with me? How do I move on from this? In some ways in my head, I know we would never be right for each other, but in other ways, I feel there was never opportunity to show I was really right for him or he could have known a better me if he only took the time to!
Recommended Posts