Why did she do this?

[DanChi]

Here is an update. The divorce is finalized. It only took two months since I filed. From what I am hearing this was very fast, I did not expect it to be finished yet. Oh well, now I can go back to working on myself. Still not easy, but its getting better. Still have some bad days where I catch my self thinking about her and what ifs.

She cried after the court and even hugged me. I kept my cool...just told her this is what you wanted, now you are free to go enjoy the life and finally be happy. No response on that one. The night before the divorce she called me and we talked for over an hour. She was crying the whole time. Her brother in law found out her sister has been cheating on him with his best friend...wow...it runs in the family. Somehow she thought I had aomething to do with exposing the truth. And no, I did not. But it felt good to hear her cry...it felt good to see her cry at the court. I do not know why...but it did. Since the divorce I had very little contact with her and i am keeping it that way. I went out couple of times with friends and had fun. The other day she asked me to come pick up the kids. When i ahowed up she was wearing "daisy dukes", boots, full make up on...looked really good...i tied to figure out if she was trying to show me that she is doing ok...I do not know and i do not care. I had the kids almost every evening because she was busy going to meetings and trying to get her pyramide scheme going...but that is not working out too well. Just found out that she is not paying income tax, receiving cash for her regular work. Am I going to laugh when she receives that 1099 with $10-15k bill attached to it...lol. Well, one thing after another will start falling apart in her life...in the meantime I am going back to college to get my degree and will enjoy sitting on the sidelines and watch her life fall apart. I do feel bad for my kids...but I will always be there for them. :-)

[SunflowerKitten]

Here is an update. The divorce is finalized. It only took two months since I filed. From what I am hearing this was very fast, I did not expect it to be finished yet. Oh well, now I can go back to working on myself. Still not easy, but its getting better. Still have some bad days where I catch my self thinking about her and what ifs.

She cried after the court and even hugged me. I kept my cool...just told her this is what you wanted, now you are free to go enjoy the life and finally be happy. No response on that one. The night before the divorce she called me and we talked for over an hour. She was crying the whole time. Her brother in law found out her sister has been cheating on him with his best friend...wow...it runs in the family. Somehow she thought I had aomething to do with exposing the truth. And no, I did not. But it felt good to hear her cry...it felt good to see her cry at the court. I do not know why...but it did. Since the divorce I had very little contact with her and i am keeping it that way. I went out couple of times with friends and had fun. The other day she asked me to come pick up the kids. When i ahowed up she was wearing "daisy dukes", boots, full make up on...looked really good...i tied to figure out if she was trying to show me that she is doing ok...I do not know and i do not care. I had the kids almost every evening because she was busy going to meetings and trying to get her pyramide scheme going...but that is not working out too well. Just found out that she is not paying income tax, receiving cash for her regular work. Am I going to laugh when she receives that 1099 with $10-15k bill attached to it...lol. Well, one thing after another will start falling apart in her life...in the meantime I am going back to college to get my degree and will enjoy sitting on the sidelines and watch her life fall apart. I do feel bad for my kids...but I will always be there for them. :-)

 

Hi DC,

 

I hope i am not intruding since i am a female posting and most of the replies i see are men who have been done wrong.

 

I just wanted to say I am sorry for what you have been through, and the men on here as well.

 

It is saddening to me to read how horrible women are, which i already knew, but it gives us all a bad rap and the good women aren't given a chance because of how badly men have been treated by the bad apples.

 

I am sure my ex husband hates me, which i feel he should not, but he is the type who wont admit he didn't try and never really loved me.

I took care of him when he became ill and disabled, but he pushed me away, shut me out, and decided to check out on his own.

He feels he did nothing wrong as a husband, but i had to make the choice to divorce because of the entire situation that stemmed around his actions and how he changed, and also i wouldn't take the abuse anymore.

I had to chose a better upbringing for my children.

I am friendly and would never keep him from his children, I have to pay him alimony and i receive no child support, he sees them every other weekend and when he chooses on a wed evening. He has them every other year for christmas or thanksgiving, ect.

 

I told him i wanted to separate in Nov 2011, filed for divorce, and it was final Feb 3, 2012.

 

It only takes 60 days in Texas for a non contested divorce (we didn't fight in court, but i got a lawyer since disability was involved and since i made most of the money over the 10 plus yr marriage, so by law i had to pay alimony).

He didn't contest the divorce; we just had to agree with the terms in the divorce decree.

 

I did all i could to make the marriage work and asked him to compromise with how mean he was, he didn't make any effort, just wanted to string me along and make me happy so i would stay longer, but when i found out his actions were not sincere and they were fake, i wouldn't be walked all over anymore.

 

Married at 18, divorced at 28, now I am 29, and a single mom to a 10 yr old son and two daughters, ages 8 and 6.

 

I am sure it was a shock your divorce happened so quickly, i know I was.

 

I go to the gym, work full time, have my own photography business, have tried to look for divorce support groups, but the only one on meet up meets on a Sunday, they keep changing the times and it is too far for me to drive.

I just started back to college after always putting my degree on hold due to him and never having time for me.

 

 

Emotionally it is hard to divorce in any aspect, especially when kids are involved.

 

I wish you all the best of luck.

Edited September 19, 2012 by SunflowerKitten

[DanChi]

I refuse to beleive it's a "man thing" or a "woman thing". People are people, there are good and bad ones. I know there are lots of good women out there and I know I fill find love again. I did not lose my faith in humanity, in people, in women or in love. I would even say I consider myself lucky to go thru this. I have learned a lot...about myself, about love, marriage, life... I know this will only make me stronger in the end. I can look myself and everyone else in the eye.

Hang in there...head up...be strong. This is just a small roadblock.

[SunflowerKitten]

I refuse to beleive it's a "man thing" or a "woman thing". People are people, there are good and bad ones. I know there are lots of good women out there and I know I fill find love again. I did not lose my faith in humanity, in people, in women or in love. I would even say I consider myself lucky to go thru this. I have learned a lot...about myself, about love, marriage, life... I know this will only make me stronger in the end. I can look myself and everyone else in the eye.

Hang in there...head up...be strong. This is just a small roadblock.

 

I am sorry i hope i didn't make it sound as if it was a woman or man thing, i just meant in general, the way woman act sometimes make men believe everyone is like that.

 

I am glad you have the attitude you do, you will accomplish great things and will be happy.

 

Take Care.

[karnak]

 

It is saddening to me to read how horrible women are, which i already knew, but it gives us all a bad rap and the good women aren't given a chance because of how badly men have been treated by the bad apples.

 

 

Thanks for your support and comment. Most men aknowledge that not all women are like that.

 

Unfortunately, it seems that women very rarely accept their capacity to inflict pain upon their former beloved. Much more than men, I suppose.

Men are usually more primitive and basic in their capacity to hurt others.

Women, on the other hand, are much more subtle and destructive. Not only to others, but to themselves as well.

 

Unfortunately, even when a man does wrong to his wife, he still tries to protect the integrity of his kids and keep them safe from harm. Women, sometimes, seem to stop caring about their kids altogether. That's why it's so common to hear stories of children being abused by their mother's new lovers or husbands.

 

Perhaps it's because they have such a capacity for emotional violence that women don't want to see their own inner demons. Michelle Langley, in her books, has given a nice essay concerning the female capacity for selfishness and creating havoc around them.

 

Your opinion, Sunflower, proves that some women do care for others. Thanks