arctic fox Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 I am considering leaving my 12-year marriage, but there is one thing that haunts me about the idea - the thought that my husband will get unsupervised visitation rights with our children, 8 & 10. He routinely neglects to properly supervise the children. Here's just a few examples: - Let the youngest wander off in a huge park because he got distracted by a business text. Luckily, I returned from a walk with our oldest in time to spot our youngest in the far distance, which happened to not even be in sight from my husband's vantage point. My husband admitted he didn't notice that the child left, but thought it was okay because it was a "safe area". - Left both of the children unattended in the pool at his family's pool party, assuming the other adults would just watch them while he went inside to play video games. Considering it was not the other adults' responsibility to watch our children and they all had children of their own to supervise, I was horrified at my husband's nonchalance. I arrived in time to retrieve the children myself after all but one other child had finally left the pool. - Let the youngest wander off in a store and didn't bother to look for the kid until he was paged to the customer service desk after an employee found our child several aisles away. My husband's reasoning for not looking for our lost child? The kid would be okay and knew where to find him. - Neglected to have the kids do their homework when I was away from the house on a weeknight. He watched tv with them, fed them, then sent them to bed without even considering whether they had homework at all, then blamed them for not doing it by themselves (without prompting, a reminder or an offer to help them). I had to get the kids up early to complete their assignments before school, and they both said they were starving because my husband ate most of the dinner himself and didn't give them enough to get full. Like I said, these are but a few examples and these incidents happen frequently when he is alone with the children. So far I've been there most times to avert a disaster, but I'm terribly afraid for their safety during their visitations with him after a divorce. Will the court see this as neglect and order supervised visitations, or will it be a he said/she said situation since I have no way to actually prove my case? The only witnesses I could call are his family that were at the pool party, but they sure as heck aren't going to testify against him. Any advice about what I could reasonably expect or what I should do?
LadyGrey Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 If you are going to separate from him, then try to get a court order for a parenting class.
GorillaTheater Posted August 30, 2012 Posted August 30, 2012 I don't do divorces (thank God), but in my estimation the grounds for getting supervised visitation are pretty shaky. Generally, my understanding that this is generally reserved for cases where substance abuse and/or physical abuse is an issue. In other words, it's going to depend on the judge, but I wouldn't bet too heavily on getting it.
JD1977 Posted August 31, 2012 Posted August 31, 2012 Artic Fox There is nothing worse than fearing for you children! But I am curious if this is your reason for divorce, or just the product of what you fear will happen when you do divorced? I've done some CASA work for the courts and it usually takes more than that (like Gorilla Theatre said) said to get supervised custody. Would you be willing to talk to him about going to parenting classes, or have you already? You will have to co-parent with your husband for a lot more years, he might respond better if you offered to go with him.
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