Cheated on my ex gf, want her back, but she's sleeping with someone else.

[hsflynt]

Ok I'm gonna lay it all out there and hope someone can give me some advice/resolve. I was with my ex gf for 3 and a half years. I was her first love, only person shed ever slept with. Over the last 8 months I did some shady things that made her question my trust, deservedly so as I'd flirt with other girls or talk to them. It all culminated about 3 weeks ago when I got drunk and cheated. I immediately regretted it and felt like total **** cuz I'm madly in live with her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I lied to try to cover it up, she found out the truth, and ended it for good she said. She's had no desire to speak to me, and started sleepin with a guy a week or two after the break up which I learned through a mutual friend. She says she doesn't regret it and is continuing the fling even though she wants nothin serious with him. She's also been partying a lot and stuff, and all of this is very uncharacteristic of her, but she seems to be having the time of her life. When she found out I learned about her having sex she just laughed about the whole thing. Now the part I don't understand is she's left the door open to possibly speaking again after some time and rebuilding. So I'm stuck in limbo cuz I wanna prove to her she's the only person I want, but I dunno if she's just saying there's a small chance to keep from completely hurting me. There it is. Thoughts? Advice?

[veggirl]

why did you spend 8 months engaging in other girls, culminating in your cheating, if you are so "madly in love" with your ex?

[hsflynt]

Good question. We've lived 120 miles apart for the last year. I guess it was to fill the void I had just by having someone to talk to.

[GorillaTheater]

You screwed up. Accept it, learn from it, and don't be that guy again.

 

You blew this one. Time to move on.

[Madman81]

What GT said.

 

Seriously, IF she agreed to get back together with you, you'd start getting jealous about her having slept with another guy after she dumped your cheating ass. And you'd give her shyt about it, too. She doesn't deserve that. When she slept with somebody else, she wasn't in a relationship. When you did it, you were.

 

You screwed the pooch on this one. Let her go and have a happy life with somebody who hopefully won't cheat on her. Meanwhile, make a pledge to yourself to learn from your screwup and not repeat it again in future relationships.

[hsflynt]

I guess I should've mentioned she cheated (only kissing) and lied about it for a long time earlier in our relationship. I forgave her and eventually we rebuilt over time without me needing to sleep with the next thing that moved. Maybe it's unfair to expect the same reaction, but the fact she was in bed with someone else a week and a half after ending a 3.5 year relationship is what's so hard to understand.

[veggirl]

I guess I should've mentioned she cheated (only kissing) and lied about it for a long time earlier in our relationship. I forgave her and eventually we rebuilt over time without me needing to sleep with the next thing that moved. Maybe it's unfair to expect the same reaction, but the fact she was in bed with someone else a week and a half after ending a 3.5 year relationship is what's so hard to understand.

 

So you both did each other wrong.

 

This R sounds like it was never all that great tbh, cheating on both ends...how would trust ever exist?

 

Did she know you were talking to other girls for 8 mos, or suspect it? Cause she coulda been using that time to move on. Not to mention, all she is doing right now is rebounding. She is used to having a man in her life, so she found one to be there, however temporary it is. She is hurting and trying to find solace and comfort.

[strongnrelaxed]

You cheated, she is over you. Move on.

 

The fact that she moved on so quickly is telling and you should take that as a sign. If my woman cheated on me, it would be a while before I got over it. Two weeks is a good sign that she is not right for you. Consider it an inexpensive lesson and move on. I know it hurts, but save your dignity for the next woman and do not promise fidelity - period. You are not ready for that yet. If she pressures you to be faithful, dump her. You will find someone else - I promise.

 

And Whatever you do - DO NOT GET MARRIED.

[strongnrelaxed]

... Not to mention, all she is doing right now is rebounding. She is used to having a man in her life, so she found one to be there, however temporary it is. She is hurting and trying to find solace and comfort.

 

I have heard this before. If a woman "rebounds" quickly, then she was never right for you to begin with. Any person who sleeps around right away is a broken person or has checked out a long time ago.

 

Sex and intimacy are precious and not to be trivialized. If a woman can jump into bed with another man quickly, then she was not right for you to begin with.

[Madman81]

I guess I should've mentioned she cheated (only kissing) and lied about it for a long time earlier in our relationship. I forgave her and eventually we rebuilt over time without me needing to sleep with the next thing that moved. Maybe it's unfair to expect the same reaction, but the fact she was in bed with someone else a week and a half after ending a 3.5 year relationship is what's so hard to understand.

It's never going to get any easier to understand. The relationship is history. What would you have if you two DID reconcile? A relationship that's already crippled by mistrust and jealousy. 3.5 years is a short relationship in the grand scheme of things. You sound young. Take this opportunity to learn from your mistakes and move on.

[Chi townD]

Sounds like the both of you are very young. Time to learn from mistakes and move on. Her being 120 miles away from you should help the healing process. Go complete NC and you need to block her on Facebook. (but, I get the feeling you're gonna ignore me on that one....)

[TG1]

You screwed up. Accept it, learn from it, and don't be that guy again.

 

You blew this one. Time to move on.

 

You blew it and you have only yourself to blame, you had a good thing and the first chance something came along, you lost sight of what you had and now you realize just what you had and you want it back but as soon as you want it back, it is no longer yours, you should have left well enough alone and not cheated at all

[Chi townD]

Zombie thread.....Dude, hasn't been back on here in over a month.