DarkInspirations Posted July 19, 2004 Posted July 19, 2004 Just when you think your going strong. Whamo! You get socked in the gut and are back at day one. Tonights pretty bad. All day i was going strong. And then all of a sudden. I dont know if it was a song, or something i saw on tv or what but damn, it came slamming into me and i am back to hurting real bad. Doesnt help, the guy has the nerve to ask me to sit by on the sidelines while he figures out what he wants. I havent given him the gratification of thinking i am waiting but oh man, this bites. Well the last few days he still called. We still talked , me pretty much on alert on the defense but i sent him a letter yesterday telling him i am not waiting anymore.. Well he was upset, started to get all apologitic and such. Still doesnt want to get back together. Well i broke down and called him today because boredom over took me. Well he was in a major rush to get off the phone which he hardly ever is. Then several times tonight i've tried to call and his line is busy. Anyway, i am really down right now. I mean this guy, means a lot to me. Sad thing is, he really has a lot to be have desired. I am sure the women in the posts probably knowing what i am talking about. He's very lazy, i mean, he lives with his mother and grandmother. His day consists of getting up in the morning, bathroom, eating, taking a nap, and then going and playing video games, then going to bed. Its the same thing every day with him. Doesnt help his mother or grandmother out unless they literally crawl on their hands and knees and beg him to do anything. He's 24 so its probably a pattern set in him for good. He is so disrespectful towards his mother, calls her that word that starts with a C that all us women hate. Totally degrades her while anyone is on the phone. I mean, he even has friends that just out right say he is not boyfriend material, that he just doesnt know how to handle relationships. Thing is even through all this, he helped me in a lot situations as far as bills and was romantic at times. I know , i know. Get rid of him. He's garbage. He's trash. I can do better... I've heard it all before. But it never fails, seems we always fall for the ones that are probably the worst for us, the hardest. Well, recently too. I just found out he's got some pretty sick fantasies. Like father/daughter type. Actually wants those.. Anyway, but the point is... for some reason i hurt so bad over losing Mr. Wrong. I just dont get it. So why is that we do this? Fall for those that are just not right for us the hardest, but the good ones we always turn our nose up at?
RoboHobo Posted July 19, 2004 Posted July 19, 2004 Hey, I've no idea why some torture themselves with people who are completely wrong for them. There are those of us who have found the person who is right for us and we hurt too. It's time you started to listen to what everyone else has to say, this guy sounds like a creep, even if he is nice at times. Have you seriously thought out what qualities you want in partner? Does he meet up to them? I very much doubt that he will. Perhaps making new friends will help you to forget about him for a while, even though it will hurt when you do. Give yourself a chance to live a life that makes you happy. He isn't going to be able to do that for you, he will turn into an abusive partner and father. Don't let yourself be the one that he abuses. In short forget about him, you can do much better. You need to realize that for yourself.
Author DarkInspirations Posted July 19, 2004 Author Posted July 19, 2004 Well its not that i dont listen to my friends. Everyone's advice is taken into consideration. And usually i am very head strong when it comes to breaking up with a guy too but for some reason, this one, of all of the loves i have had in the past, maybe in the future this one hit like a bulldozer and just kept on going. I mean i have never hurt this bad not being with someone. I dont know if its actually a mental thing subconciousily that he'll change or what but grrrrr... talk about being frustrating. After my last post early this morning i sent him an email telling him that i was through. Made me feel good, well, just an hour a go. (Before 7 am my time) he calls , whining about the email. Plays songs to me over the phone before i really say much,. Yeah yeah, i know, hang up the phone but when your still half asleep when someone calls kind of hard to concentrate on hanging up the phone and just not going back to sleep. Anyway, he plays these songs that make you want just cry.. Played some song called "Broken", by a group called Ceaser or Sasser or something like that. Sure someone will correct me there on the actual band name but anyway , right off the bat it made me cry. Maybe that was the effect he was going for. Just thing is right now, is that I know he's bad for me. He totally lacks what i want in a partner. (Believe me i have some high standards probably) He lacks everything. I mean he's not even good looking. He's like those guys you see in a bar, dressed in those ugly jump suits, the gold chains, his hairy chest and his near balding head, but what hair is there is really greasy. No he doesnt really look that way but its just the distinct impression , or the stereotype that girls understand of "creep". But for some reason, I HURT. And i guess i am more aggravated with myself because i do and i really dont know why. Being the type of thinker i am, i have to analyze everything, and everyone and every situation. Etc, and for some reason this whole thing has me baffled. I just can not figure it out. So sometimes seeing the advice of strangers i see points maybe i was blind too before... etc. Then gets me on thinking track again... Well, i should end this particular post right now.. cuz i am rambling. lol. Too little sleep causes that for me. lol Still open to advice and opinions though. Dont worry about offending me or anything, takes a lot to do that. So post whatever you feel.. just watch the cussin. lol
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