What does this mean (sorta long)

[SoulSearcher22]

Backstory: Met a girl who had been broken up with her boyfriend of 3 years for about 4 months. She was really into me and basically on the verge of infatuation. I fell hard for her. We had a great 2-3 months and she kept talking about our future and things like that and we had plenty of sex and then all of a sudden, her ex calls her up spilling his heart out to her. He tells her that he got a good job in another state and that he wants her to move with him. She eventually (after keeping me hanging for about a month) went back with him after he had already moved. They decided to do the long distance thing. She never told me or broke up with me. I woke up one day, checked my facebook and I had been blocked. She never answered my calls or text. I used a friends facebook account to see that both of their statuses were changed to "In A relationship" with each other.

 

Of course I was angry, pissed, and sad. You name it. Did all the things I shouldn't have done like called her constantly (although I don't know how many calls went through. She always had a problem with her phone that I verified) and texted like crazy. But after about a 2 weeks, I started to get over it since it only lasted a few months. I start NC and it's been 2 months.

 

Fast forward to yesterday.

 

We go to the same small community college. We both knew that eventually we'd probably run into each other. Well, the 3rd day she pulls up next to my car all smiling and whatever. I'm kinda dumbfounded but we both get out and she gives me this long sensual hug. I try to pull away after abot 10 seconds and she tells me to give her a bigger hug. She's all nudging her head into my shoulder and rubbing my back. We shoot the **** for about 30 minutes before our class. We never bring up anything that happened before. Our converstation was very flirty. She walks me to my class...gives me another long drawn out sensual hug and says I'll see you later. Well I go to my second class and then after that I head to my car. I find that my car's windshield wipers are pointing outwards and my side view mirrors are bent in. No real damage..just a prank..and I'm like..what the ****. Who did this.

 

Well as I'm leaving...I see her car and she sees me...and we kinda just both pulled over and parked. It turns out it was her and she was just messing with me. We talked for another hour almost. It was a fun conversation and it was like we never really skipped a beat. We talked about where we park each day for class and the different buildings we have to go to. As we're saying goodbye she asked if she'll see me tomorrow, (I'm actually not going to school today because of a football game) so I tell her that and she's kind of dissapointed but I say Ill see her the next day. We both leave and she goes home and I go home. I get a phone call later and it's her. Again, I'm dumbfound that she's contacting me. We talk on the phone for about an hr and a half and it's very similiar to back when we were together. Towards the end of the conversation, she tells me the reason she called was because she wanted me to know that since the last time we talked, not a day has gone by that she hasn't thought about me and missed me. I didn't really know how to respond, so I just said the same thing, which is true. We sorta finally brought up what she did and how she went about leaving and she didn't wanna talk about it and called it a mistake. (She didn't neccessarilly call leaving me a mistake, just the way she went about it) She said she OWED it to me to tell me all this. Never mentioned her current (or maybe ex again) boyfriend. Then she asked me if I've tried contacting her on facebook because she doesn't see my statuses anymore and I was like..YOU blocked ME! She says her boyfriend did it, which I believe.

 

I'm not sure what this all means or why she is doing this now. I was almost over her completely and now I'm set back a month atleast.

 

On one hand, I'm thinking she may just be giving me the closure that I needed but on the other hand, she sounded way to flirty and caring and sensual about everything for it to just be that.

 

Whats going on here? Mind you, I do sorta want her back. She is an amazing girl besides what she did to me.

Edited August 30, 2012 by SoulSearcher22
added information

[Crila16]

I'll tell you exactly what it means. What's funny...is after reading only the first 2 paragraphs about her leaving you for her ex of 3 years...I already knew she was going to come back to you.

 

She was with her ex for 3 years. They were in love. He must have ended it with her, if he was the one that all of a sudden wanted her back and to move with him.

 

It's one of 2 things.

 

1. He changed his mind, realized he wanted her back...and then when they got back, he realized he was just not that into her and ended it again. She's running back to you because it's better than being alone.

 

2. They got back together, she realized she had resentment towards him...realized he wasn't as great as she had built up in her mind since the breakup...realized it was you she was in love with.

 

It's one of the two.

 

Now...here's the thing. I know you love her. I know you had a great time with her. But who does she think she is? I know that it may be a case of #2 and she's realizing she's in love with you...but look how she handled the breakup. She cut you off completely. Showed you no respect. Acting like what you two had was nothing...then prances back into your life as if nothing happened.

 

Well...something did happen. You got hurt. You felt rejected. She dumped you. She might as well have just broken up with you on a post-it note. At least that would have been some sort of communication.

 

This girl isn't so great. She's very selfish. Who does she think she is? What's to stop her from doing this to you in the future? I just don't think she can be trust, and I don't think she's worthy of you. If she had ended it properly, then fine. I would at least be able to respect her...but she gave you no respect. I wouldn't take her back so quickly and I wouldn't let her off the hook so easily. She needs to face what she's done to you, she needs to be honest, tell you what happened and she needs to grow the HE-- up.

[SoulSearcher22]

wow. What an amazing answer! I needed that, thankyou. Obviously I want it to be the case of number 2...but you're definitely right about not taking her back so quickly...And I won't. I'm gonna see what she's all about.

 

On one hand, she was asking me a few times if I'll see her later..and on the other hand, she said she owed it to me to tell me those things makes it sound like it's just telling me. But how can you miss someone everyday, tell them, and it not mean anything?

 

Not going to lie, It was great seeing her. I was really excited on the inside and she looked amazing.

[Crila16]

I'm glad she's groveling back...sorta...but she's acting kinda dumb with the little flirty games. She still needs to own up to what she did. You can't let her get away with this or she'll never learn and she'll do it again. Women can see through other women, like men can see through other men.

 

I'm a girl, and I can tell you ...we think with a blink of an eyelash, we can get what we want, especially when we know the guy is into us. But we will walk all over you if you allow it. We actually will respect you if you don't allow it. You have the upper hand. Use it to your advantage. If you stand up for yourself, she's not going to end it with you...it will probably actually turn her on, knowing she can't have you that easily. Please promise me you won't just take her back. You need to wait and she needs to work for you and prove herself to you. Otherwise, guaranteed she'll do something similar again.

 

Also...you can get back with her, but don't think for a minute that you're not going to end up a little passive agressive towards her. You will and you will have moments where you get kinda angry about what she's done to you. You're not going to forget what she did and it will come bursting out. You're just so happy that she may want you back, that it's overtaking respect you lost for her when she just ditched you and cut you off.

 

Also...have someone check her facebook status. Make sure she's single.

[SoulSearcher22]

Yeah you're describing me exactly. I told a friend the story and he said that he can already tell that I'm really happy about this encounter that it's making what she did a few months ago fade. But I'm not going to let it. I'm not going to try to contact her at all. She'll be the one doing the calling for a while. But i don't want to get ahead of myself. She hasn't told me whats going on with her bf...and this may just be her apologizing for how she went about leaving. It may have made her feel bad and she's just trying to make herself feel better. I don't know.

 

I'll see how she acts in the next days and weeks. She was talking about walking me to class and studying with me and stuff yesterday so we'll definitely run into each other again. It'd be today if I was going to school. I almost wish she didn't do this though. I was so close to not giving a care about her anymore.

[Chi townD]

She's not "groveling to come back". Here's the deal. She felt guilty for dumping you in the way that she did. She would love to get you into the "friend zone". Note: she stated that she OWED you that explaination and that you didn't deserve how things ended. Nothing in there states to me that she wants to come back or that she made a huge mistake with getting back with her Ex. She's stating that her mistake was treating you like dog crap on how she ended it.

 

See, MOST girls have this thing. They can't stand the fact that there might be a person on this planet that hates them or doesn't think that they are a nice person. Therefore, it would ease her guilt if you two would become really good friends. It's all selfishly motivated.

 

I strongly recommend that you limit your exposure to her as much as possible and move forward with your life. She made a choice and it was her Ex over you. Okay, fine. You shouldn't be her back up plan. Because, what will end up happening is you would be available to fulfill her emotional needs and when she travels to see her current boyfriend, he gets to fulfill her physical needs. How is that fair to you?

[Crila16]

No. She's not being nice to you because she feels bad. Trust me...after what she did to you and how she handled it...she would be avoiding you for all of eternity. She's flirting with you and playing with your mind, because something went wrong with the ex and she's unsure of how she feels for him. She's trying to get back with you, whether it's in a relationship or to play with your head until she makes a definite decision. It's all selfish reasons, but she's looking for something from you. It's just a matter of time until you find out exactly what it is.

 

...and there is anger, but it's just covered up right now with excitement, because for the first time in a long time you have control back. She damaged your ego, and your ego won't let you forget that.

[SoulSearcher22]

I hear what you're saying Chi, and thats exactly what I mean't when she said "owed". It threw me off...and I was like yup...she just wants to make herself feel better about what she did, which is what i said in a previous post. But on top of all that...she was also acting like way more than just making herself feel better. The feelings are there. I know that for a fact. But i'm not gonna just forget everything that happened. I'm going to let her work for it, and if she doesn't...then I'm back where I was before yesterday.

 

And Crila, lol yeah Thats what I'm saying...no way she trys to contact me after how she ended it unless she was serious about something.

 

But, I'm not banking on anything right now. Would be nice to have her back and for her to really be exclusive with me. But I'm focusing on school now too.

[Chi townD]

Dating her Ex for 2-3 years and broke up with him. Four months later, she starts dating you. One simple phonecall from her Ex and she drops you like a bad habit and goes running to him. Dude, you were a rebound.

 

You deserve a girl that wants to be with you because there's no other place in this world that she would rather be. You want a girl that knows what she wants and can dedicate herself to the relationship and knows how to treat her man right.

 

This girl isn't it.

 

If push comes to shove, you have to ask her one simple question, " What the hell is going on here?"

[SoulSearcher22]

Dating her Ex for 2-3 years and broke up with him. Four months later, she starts dating you. One simple phonecall from her Ex and she drops you like a bad habit and goes running to him. Dude, you were a rebound.

 

You deserve a girl that wants to be with you because there's no other place in this world that she would rather be. You want a girl that knows what she wants and can dedicate herself to the relationship and knows how to treat her man right.

 

This girl isn't it.

 

If push comes to shove, you have to ask her one simple question, " What the hell is going on here?"

 

I'm going to ask that question eventually. I know it needs to happen.

[veggirl]

you need to ask her wtf she wants before you engage in any more of these goofy flirty games. guarantee she will say she wants to be friends.

[SoulSearcher22]

you need to ask her wtf she wants before you engage in any more of these goofy flirty games. guarantee she will say she wants to be friends.

 

lol I don't wanna hear that! but I'm prepared. but i will not be her friend.

[SoulSearcher22]

Bump for Crila. Ok so she texted me asking how the footbal game was last night. I didn't get it until this morning and I responded. Now we're texting pretty steadily just talking about stuff...but she's headed to the beach this weekend.

[Chi townD]

Uh huh...let me guess. To meet up with her boyfriend I speculate. Gotta get those phyiscal needs met!

[SoulSearcher22]

LOL at @ Chi. Fortunately not. She's going with work friends for a convention. Her BF lives a few states over. The beach is in our state.